The 15 Best Bathrooms in Dallas Music Venues

Categories: Best Of

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Aaron Ortega
A Texas-shaped mirror at the Double Wide.
A trip to a venue bathroom is usually a haphazard (and possibly hazardous) experience. "Just get it over with so you can make it back in time to order another drink before the band plays their next song," is usually all that is involved in the live music bathroom planning mentality. That, and how to minimize hand-to-surface contact. When it comes to a bar, club or large arena, we don't necessarily put all of our faith in the particular venue's custodial arts. However, one might be surprised to learn, there are some water closets throughout the Dallas music venue scene that are not only passably sanitary, but are also actually a vaguely pleasurable experience.

In search of the perfect bathroom, there are many factors to consider. Cleanliness, of course is always top priority. Distance between the paper towel dispenser and door handle to ensure proper sanitary exit. Smells. Whether or not the facilities are equipped for proper personal "emergencies." But then there are other various intricacies we often overlook, such as wall "art" and graffiti, fliers, and whether or not the mirrors allow for adequate attire and hair inspection.

Armed with copious amounts of coffee, electrolytic water and personal hand sanitizer, I scoured Dallas' music venue scene in search of the top 15 bathrooms that make the call of nature a less frightening experience. Keep in mind that, in some restroom facilities, the mere fact that they are functional can sometimes be their best feature.

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Aaron Ortega
The urinal lineup at The Prophet Bar

15. The Prophet Bar

A rather long walk down a dark and creepy hallway, the bathrooms at the Prophet Bar are nice in that they are spacious and offer plenty of stalls or urinals to choose from, which is nice on particularly busy nights. The cleanliness is remarkably good, and aside from graffiti aplenty, the only other amenity is the absence of an actual door. Wash your hands and promptly exit.

See also: The Antidote to Dallas' Love Affair with Shiny New Things

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Aaron Ortega
The box in the men's bathroom at The Curtain Club where Michael Corleone hides his revolver.

14. The Curtain Club

Similarly, the adventure into the unknown here begins without the hassle of opening a door. But losing some privacy isn't so bad when you don't have to worry about sharing the germs of everyone of your gender in attendance that night.

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Aaron Ortega
The mirrors at Dada really class up the place.

13. Club Dada

The natural aromas of Dada's water closets can sometimes leave something to be desired. However, this spacious one-room bathroom invites guests to enjoy their privacy while attending to their business. What makes this bathroom special is the simple locking mechanism, in case of emergencies or if you just need to confine yourself away from the raucous crowd for a few minutes. You may have to wait in a line, but bathroom excellence is not always about speed.

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Aaron Ortega
A Texas-shaped mirror at the Double Wide.

12. The Double Wide

Given the circumstances of a venue wherein the bar is literally steps from the bathroom, the John here is remarkably clean. Also, the plumbing provides unusually hot water, so germs can be efficiently scrubbed away given the temperature reaches levels bordering mildly scalding. And plenty of paper towels give hand-to-surface contact a task even the most inebriated of patrons can enjoy.

See also: Kanye West's Dallas Screening Didn't Go Exactly as Planned: Recap, Photos and Video

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Aaron Ortega
The uncomfortably close urinals at The Boiler Room.

11. The Boiler Room

What is nice about the Boiler Room facility? That it is just that, a facility. Doors to ensure privacy. Even though proper distance between urinals is sub-par, the colorful chalkboard that hangs above is fine enough of a distraction to take the attention off the fact that you could literally comfortably hold the hand of the person next to you.

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Aaron Ortega
The plunger at The Amsterdam Bar.



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5 comments
Molly Tracy
Molly Tracy

@ClubDadaDFW has the worse. saturday night they were high school kids peeing all over outside.

Manny M. Escam
Manny M. Escam

The House of Blues has the VERY best facilities and they win in every possible category. Yet, they don't even make the top 15? Really? Your survey is a joke.

Fearguth
Fearguth

You overlooked the brand new pissoirs at the Green Elephant.  

aaron.ortega80
aaron.ortega80

I attempted to visit the fine facilities at the House of Blues, twice. And was promptly turned down. But thanks, I do wish I could've included it.

aaron.ortega80
aaron.ortega80

I attempted to survey their facilities but they promptly turned me down...twice.

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