Please Don't Destroy Uber: A Dallas Party Girl's Plea
Yesterday was a rough day to be a Dallas apologist. First, word that East Dallas taco haven La Banqueta was stuck between a bit of a rock and a hard place that involves them NOT SERVING TACOS. Then, word spread quickly that the City of Dallas was working to help Uber "comply, operate legally and protect customers." Which really means an agenda item intended to shut that shit down had made its way to the docket of Wednesday's City Council vote.
That has since changed, but let me shuffle you on over to Unfair Park where Eric Nicholson is doing the real-time work of keeping you apprised of things like details and facts.
This is just one party girl's plea for her Uber. Don't let me down Mayor Rawlings. I know I have spun the praises of a decades old limo and found myriad other transportation alternatives when I am feeling adventurous but the truth is since Uber, it's always been Uber.
It's a well-known fact that Dallas cabs only service people leaving J. Black's Feel Good Kitchen & Lounge on Henderson Avenue. We know this because of the 200 or so cabs that sit in a pile in front of the bar never traveling down the street to places as far as Barcadia, or god forbid you need a cab from around the corner scary place The Slip Inn.
Truthfully, I am not even certain those cabs in front of J. Blacks are actually going anywhere, since those 200 cabs seem to stay put and make it impossible for my Uber to take me home using the most direct route down Henderson Avenue.
There was that one time I took a cab though and it was great, although even that cabbie proactively gave me her cell phone number so I could avoid the terrible, terrible dispatch service that always, always loses your car order. And there were those other two times that in a very appropriate and not creepy at all way a cab driver noticed and mentioned I was going home alone.
"Oh, actually just drop me off at any address that isn't my home," I replied.
The good news is, of course, reporting this to the cab company was totally easy and I felt like my safety concerns were a priority, which is to say I was never able to talk to a human ever and then I gave up. And I'd complain more about the cabs not taking my credit cards, if more of the cabs ever showed up in the first place.
This is all secondary of course to the "Rick Perry Pisses Off the Country By Telling Them Their State Is a Horrible Place to do Business -- Texas Has NO REGULATIONS! COME ON DOWN!" tour. OMG LOL 1500 Marilla, it's going to be so embarrassing when every business, from every other state moves to Texas and they find out that North Texas cabs can't handle a little measly competition and went running to Mom and Dad downtown to help keep away the scary new "app."
Look, this isn't music news and it isn't party news except that The Overserved has always strived to be the Thinking Man's nightlife column and to that end Thinking Men be like, "I do not prefer to drive under the influence. Additionally, I quite like the added style of showing up to places in a town car." Me too, Thinking Man, me too.
And we aren't alone; the hashtag #DallasNeedsUber is uniting all of the Uber addicts willing to spend a little more to keep the streets safe and our departures stylish. Let's gander at some of my favs:
1) @HeyItsHigbe: Dallas: pro-eyeball sculpture, anti-Uber. #DallasNeedsUber
Let's not stifle progress Dallas! We are getting cool contemporary art, I need a way to get there because the drinks at the Joule are strong!
2) @vmMark: Last night we used @Uber with great result here in #SanFrancisco - amazing that Dallas is trying to shut it down. #DallasNeedsUber
Great point! Guys, we want the same toys that LA, and NYC and San Fransicsco have! If those hippies can make capitalism work, what is the problem Dallas?!
3) @Caviar_Club: Can we get @WendyDavisTexas to filibuster for #dallasneedsuber ?
I stood with Wendy once before this year and frankly I am ready to put her in charge of almost every facet of my life. Reproductive rights? Check! Civil Liberties? Yes, please. Convenient and consistent transportation alternatives? Sure, of course. Dallas Needs Uber, Texas needs Wendy. Maybe we can have it all?
4) @amuse: I mentioned Uber so many times today my friends made it a drinking game. #DallasNeedsUber
You are probably drunk now. No big deal! You can totally call an Uber if you need to get somewhere. I think.
5) @BBQSnob: Hey @Mike_Rawlings & @1500Marilla, sick your dogs on sleazy towing companies reported on in @Dallas_Observer, not @uber #dallasneedsuber
Yeah! That's right! The snob himself Daniel Vaughn appealed to my Dallas Observer loyalty, a great story and you guys ... he is so right about so much barbecue, how could he possibly be wrong about Uber? He isn't!
Look, should we use this collective energy to feed the hungry or get everyone health insurance or clean out that one weird closet in my apartment? Yes, we should do all those things but Dallas does need this too. Dallas needs to be a place where our business and our leisure can be taken seriously. Where a girl can get overserved and home safely, quickly and with a little flair if she prefers.
And please, can we not give L.A. this fucking bragging right? This is Texas. We are the braggers. Can you make it a little easier for your favorite apologist? Thanks in advance. #dallasneedsuber, etc.