The Five Worst/Best Rock and Roll Pirates

Categories: Commentary

Jean Leon Gerome Ferris/Wikimedia Commons
The Capture of the Pirate Blackbeard
Way before the Pirates of the Caribbean films brought buccaneer chic back into vogue, various rock acts over the decades have mined this particular influence; some better than others. Here is a list of those who have been particularly ham-fisted, including one Adam Ant who performs this Sunday at the Granada Theater.

5. Johnny Kidd & the Pirates
Sure, "Shakin' All Over" influenced The Who (amongst others), but that single did not a career make. Amazingly, even with Kidd passing away in 1966, some form of the band still performs today. Unsure if that is exactly a good thing. Anyhow, Kidd was probably the first to don the infamous eye patch, so credit goes where it is due.

4. Swashbuckle
Oh, the humanity. This thrash metal outfit from New Jersey would draw the ire of Black Beard or any other respectable pirate. Two of the founding members met at...wait for it...Red Lobster. Swashbuckle's last album was 2010's Crime Always Pays. Let's hope these guys retire on top.

3. Captain Dan & the Scurvy Crew
Pirate themed electronic hip-hop? There ought to be a law. For those with a warped sense of humor, Divide The Plunder - The Best of Pirate Rap came out in 2011.

2. The Dreadnoughts
Canadian pirate-themed nonsense that at least offers a bit of authentic humor. Bassist Andrew Hay uses the stage name Squid Vicious. Now, that's pretty funny in a Spongebob Squarepants kind of way.

1. Adam Ant
Born Stuart Leslie Goddard, Adam Ant started dressing like a pirate around 1980 with the album Kings of the Wild Frontier. Granted, Kings is Ant's best album, but the guy has to be docked major points for releasing such tripe as 1983's Strip and 1990's Manners & Physique. Still, he's still putting on the tri-cornered hat and giving it his best.

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I know that a major omission is Dr.Hook and the Medicine Show, but I could not add a guy just for the eye patch and major points were deducted for "When You're in Love with a Beautiful Woman."

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