I Had Phone Sex with My Friend's Boyfriend. Help, Willie D!
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
Welcome to Ask Willie D, where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Dear Willie D:
I got a little problem. My girl and I was supposed to hang out this weekend. I was really looking forward to it. Friday night we were supposed to go to her friends' surprise party for her mom. Saturday we were supposed to go a dinner for her parents. Sunday we was just going to chill.
The other day she tells me that she was only able to just get one ticket for the dinner. At first I was tripping, but then I got over it because she was going to be with her family. I was like all right, we got Sunday and Friday to be with each other. Then all of the sudden she tells me that she just remembered that she had a baby shower to go to Sunday. She kind of caught me off guard with that. I mean, I had no idea about that.
So then I was like okay we at least got Friday together. Then she tells me "Hey would you be mad if I wanted to just be with my friends this weekend and you be with yours?" Man I can't lie, I was pissed me off. I had been looking forward to this weekend for about two weeks.
Come on man, I ain't got no problem with her hanging out with her friends, but we made plans, or at least I thought we had. I'm not somebody to just sit on the sideline and wait for her to decide what she wants to do. I'm thinking of just letting her go, but at the same time I don't want to. Man, give it to me straight and just let me know what you honestly think I should do.
Are you sure she's your girl and not some girl you're trying to get with? Her actions are more consistent with a female who is single being pursued by a dude she's really not feeling. It's not like she cancelled one day. She scratched off three consecutive days with you and replaced them with three days of separate events without you. That's cold.
It's time to have the big talk to see where her head is. You have to tell her straight up to start considering your time and feeling or get lost. Sometimes when people are in a relationship for a while they get too comfortable and start taking their spouse for granted. If that's the case but she still loves you the relationship has a chance.
The bottom line is, you teach people how to treat you. And she has become a scholar at treating you like gum on the bottom of a beat-up shoe.
Dear Willie D:
Reading some of your Q & As, I understand that you had what people would consider a rough childhood. I can relate to that in many ways and I think being brought up that way does have a lasting impression, good and bad. We all make our way eventually, but what advice do you have for people, especially the young, who have no control over their environment and feel hopeless and sad about their situation?
The best advice I can give to anyone who feels trapped by the environment he or she is in - assuming their life is not in imminent danger - is to be encouraged and give yourself permission to love yourself. Set short-term and long-term goals that you want to accomplish and use that passion as motivation to not just exist but to live. Consider your circumstances as an obstacle not a handicap; that way when things aren't going as expected, you won't be like some people who use their troubled upbringing or current predicament as an excuse for bad behavior.
No matter what you're going through, there are always people out there who are available 24-hours a day to talk to who will help you with your situation free of charge. One of the more popular crisis centers is National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Their number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You don't have to be suicidal for them to assist you, just a human being in need of help. It's okay to feel sad at times; if you didn't, you wouldn't be human.
I'm not a holy roller, but I don't have to be to recognize the truth and the truth is, "Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning."