A Guide To Road Tripping to Concerts

Categories: Music Etiquette

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It occurs to me this country is quite spaced out. Not in the drugs sense, although God knows that happens too, but in the sense it is really quite large. I mean, have you seen a map? That shit is humongous. Furthermore, there are only so many places poor overworked touring bands can play. Often, an artist you desperately want to see may end up in a town the next state (or three) over. At this point you have two choices. Either stay at home and be really lame, or pack up the car and head out on the highway, lookin' for adventure, and whatever comes my (your) way. You'll need some advice for these road trips though. Here it is.

See also:
-Music Etiquette archives
-The Worst of Rocklahoma 2013, Starring Axl Rose

• A playlist for the car journey is of the utmost importance. I cannot stress this enough. It should be themed around, but not heavy on, the band you're journeying to see. No one wants six hours of listening to a band and then another two hours of that same music but live. If you're going to see a classic rock concert then obviously don't bother, because every other station is a classic rock station. If you're going to see AC/DC, then just leave the radio on a random frequency and within minutes "Back In Black" will arrive.

• Be sure you like people you're going to be spending hours in a car with. You might be so bored of their constant need to eat or pee by the end of the trip that you can't stand the sight of them by the time you've got to make the return journey. If your friend has a whiny partner, simply buy one less ticket than your party requires, and/or leave them at a rest stop somewhere in Arkansas.

• Take this chance to stock up on incredible amounts of foods you otherwise normally wouldn't eat in huge quantities. Never in human history has there been a better chance to eat chips in amounts that would be antisocial anywhere else apart from in a car. I can't explain why this is. Bonus points if you are driving and manage to get the passengers to feed you.

• Coffee and soda are good, but only in amounts that mean you won't have an energy crash as soon as you arrive at the gig. Unless, of course, you incessantly consume them throughout, alongside the six bags of chips you just worked through.

• If you work a normal 9-5 and you're doing this on a weeknight, remember to prepare a work excuse for the following morning which you will inevitably spend asleep. The best excuses involve reference to car troubles which if like me you regularly drive twenty year old cars hundreds and hundreds of miles to see shows, will probably have some if not all of their basis in reality.

• Dude, that playlist had better be good. Seriously. You've got the whole car's musical enjoyment, on a trip based solely around music, in your hands. Make five playlists and then have back-up plans. On a related note, if you're roadtripping alone because no one else likes the band, then some music that will keep you awake on your lonesome trek, like full-volume Slayer, may be a good idea. Plus, Slayer will make you get there faster. It's just a fact.

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11 comments
DC9 at Night
DC9 at Night

ELO? Interesting. I usually go straight for the Meatloafs of the world, but I can see where the principle is the same.

Dan Moore
Dan Moore

"twilight" by ELO. trust me on this one.

Daniel
Daniel

Any American who needs advice on how to take a road trip is probably a Russian spy.

JustSaying
JustSaying

I cant stand people eating chips in a car. That crunching is on some strange frequency that can't get drowned out by even the loudest of music. If 2 people are chomping away it becomes like Chinese water torture. I have littered many a highway with half eaten bags of chips.

KUNT
KUNT

The spend lots of time on the playlist... shitty chips thing

KUNT
KUNT

thats pretty much what i do all day every day!

todd
todd

The driver picks the music.  Tired of hearing my 70s AM Gold playlist?  Fine, take the fucking wheel.  

If you decide to sleep through a potty break and then announce, 10 minutes after getting back on the road, that you have to pee, be prepared for unnecessary and sophomoric criticism.

I'll lower the volume of the music when you have to take that call from your boss, but I will not refrain from making fart noises or otherwise making it totally obvious that you are having more fun with us than you would be if you were at work.  

Leave your ego at home, especially if you plan on discussing politics, religion, abortion, or the Designated Hitter Rule.  Look, we're doing this to have a good time.  No one needs to get all butt hurt because of overzealous discussions.

No deep fried burritos will be ingested within 24 hours of the roadtrip.     

 

Daniel
Daniel

Also, there's an elephant in the room here. A sticky, green, dank elephant.

Nictacular
Nictacular

@todd "No deep fried burritos will be ingested within 24 hours of the roadtrip."

Not even if we find an Allsup's??

todd
todd

@Nictacular @todd I love me some Allsups' burritos but they do not contribute to a pleasant road trip atmosphere.    

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