The Top Ten Douchiest Drummers of All Time

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What would music be without a beat, a rhythm or a backbone? Though they qualify as the first instruments ever created, the drums are probably the last thing most music fans can live without. And while we worship plenty of drummers in modern music, there are some Gods of Thunder who might actually deserve to be struck by lightning. It's only natural that having the biggest instrument in the band will lead to some smug attitudes, inflated egos and dumbass behavior. But when it comes to narrowing down the douchiest drummers of all time, there's a handful of them that definitely stick out. Here is our list of the Ten Douchiest Drummers of All Time.

See also:
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10. Terry Bozzio
Terry Bozzio doesn't necessarily come across as the biggest egomaniac in interviews or even during his concerts. It's more or less his monstrous drum kit that is the real douchebag in this situation. Why someone would ever need 30 toms and two dozen cymbals to play the drums in any genre is beyond us. And why does every solo begin with this obligatory need to tap every fucking gong and windchime he owns? We're willing to concede that anyone good enough to play drums for Frank Zappa deserves a little extra room to stretch out. That doesn't mean they should create a kit that looks like something you could strap wheels on and drive around on the set of Mad Max.



9. Meg White
Most drummers are familiar with the term "ride cymbal." In the case of Meg White from the White Stripes, it always seemed to feel as though she was playing a free ride more than anything else. Someone tell us: Does this woman even qualify as a drummer? At times, watching her try to keep a beat behind Jack White's furious blues guitar was like throwing a cat in the pool and watching it try to swim. It was painful. Sure, the White Stripes always prided themselves on keeping things simple. But really? That simple? There are literally thousands of women who could have made the White Stripes more formidable in the rhythm department. Does that mean add a bunch of crazy drum solos, bells and whistles? No. But if you're gonna play virtually the same beat for every song, play it with some balls.



8. Travis Barker
For the past couple of decades, Travis Barker's status as the official bro-dog of the drum world has gone unsurpassed. His road to becoming a douchebag drummer really started to take off after he left the Aquabats in 1997. Whether he was mercilessly trying to cram hip-hop drum solos into Blink-182's pop-punk sound during live shows, fulfilling his quenchless desire for tattoos and Cadillacs or starting his clothing line Famous Stars and Straps -- worn by bros the world over -- Barker has been on a full-time mission to become the embodiment of all things 909. Siiiiick.



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35 comments
raider2845
raider2845

Yes, #1 douche is Lars.. But the man does have talent. His drumming in MOP, Justice and Black album is awesome. There is no questioning that. He may not be able to keep a beat anymore but the guy does have serious issues with his shoulder that he had surgery on. So I think you could give him a little credit although he is a douche.. 

howiezowieguitars
howiezowieguitars

Actually, Terry Bozzio has an extensive kit because it is tuned to notes - something necessary to play compositions such as The Black Page which Zappa wrote for him.

BrianLockett
BrianLockett

Usually the people quickest to call others douchebags are douchebags themselves.  They don't take the time to consider what they are saying, to truly know the depths of their hasty claims spouted from an unwarranted sense of superiority.

You call Terry Bozzio as one among your list of "douchebag" drummers here simply because he personally likes to sport a very extended drum kit.  Who ever said you always had to do things according to what you <i>need</i>?

Of course, he doesn't <i>need</i> such a large kit to perform most music typically, but then again, playing with the likes of Frank Zappa, he wasn't really playing with the most typical musician either.  But have you ever heard of a little something called "personal expression"?  If the guy wants a million drums on his kit, I don't see why someone like you has to have a problem with it.

You call Meg White a "douchebag" drummer, but (a) you didn't really know well what you were talking about concerning the purpose of Meg being in the band and (b) you failed to actually show where she's been an actual "douchebag" in her drumming.

Jack taught Meg a few drumming techniques, and liked her limited drumming so much that he build his whole band around it.  Her simplistic style embodied the band's lo-fi, two-people-in-a-garage sound which, frankly, played very well on her limited drumming style.  They both KNEW that she wasn't a strong drummer--that was rather the point behind the band's sound.

Never once has she claimed or acted as if she otherwise was a great drummer.  To me, she only proved that you don't need to be the best drummer in the world to still take part in creating some of the best music in the world.  <i>Had</i> she claimed to be such, THEN you're claim of her being a "douchebag" would've had more merit.

And I'm still trying to find where exactly Phil Collins merited such the title here.  Sure, he might have produced some music in the 80s that hasn't particularly aged well and sounds cheesy in hindsight, but they doesn't mean he's dawning a kind of personality one would attribute as being a "douchebag."

I fail to see how his post-Genesis 80s solo work bears any relevance to him today, or how it even then necessarily pronounced him as a "douchebag."  I'm sure Phil himself has made music he looks back at and chuckles about looking at it years later, seeing how time tends to do that for many musicians.

And I get you were trying to add a little humor to the article in listing Animal here, but maybe it would've been funnier if you hadn't already marred your case with some of the prior actually-living drummers listed.

Perhaps some of the drummers on this list might have developed a personality where one could look at them at personally consider them a "douchebag" and few would probably contest the issue, but still, I think you messed up your own point of this article by revealing yourself to be quite the "douchbag" here as well.

Take the beam out of your own eye first...  When will so many article writers learn?  Before you judge, make sure you're blameless.  You tried to point out in your "absolute" tone just who in the world of drummers are "douchebags," but instead, you only showed yourself to be a true "douchebag" here.

Michael King
Michael King

I strongly believe that lars is in the right place on this list.

Roddy M Miller
Roddy M Miller

This a apex case of a dilatant chimimg in when they have no business. If you are a drummer or percussionist. I would love to take this to another level,l but if you plays drums & are expressing such poor understanding of the relevance of technique & feel.nuff said

Roddy M Miller
Roddy M Miller

TBarker is a a bad ass carte Blanche. Watched the Stripes link & couldn't figure out for the world what u r are objecting to ;unless it's a lack senseless overplaying & a percussive masturbation, Percussion is best when it finds its place in the melodic logic of the song.

Jose Perez
Jose Perez

hahaha i love it.... i would put lars 3, bozzio 2, and barker 1

TexMarine
TexMarine

I'm surprised this doesn't list Lars 10 times. You owe Phil Collins an apology.

finnmf89
finnmf89

Seriously, Meg White? There's a solid reason why Jack took her last name when they married. If the author had actually been to any White Stripes shows rather than finding a bad YouTube video of one, he would understand why we call this woman a drummer. Her inability to keep in time with Jack's bluesy guitar rythm.....um what? Their performances are basically legendary, always amazing and always in time. The marriage didn't work out, but man alive, that chick did rock it out on the drums, did NOT sound the same in every song (seriously, does this author even listen to their music) and their presence and compatibility onstage was always amazing. I loved every show I went to of theirs, author, you clearly didn't, and you need to bite your to gue, seriously it's like you don't even know anything about music with some of these posts. Barker's a dbag, but his need to include a hip hop drum solo in every Blink 182 show....Wtf are you talking about? One show in 2001? I guess you missed the shows over the past few years. Yeah, his clothing line sucks and he upstaged himself with his over the top crane hoisted upside down drum solos, but come on, that shit wasn't hip hop, that was pure punk. Phil Collins....reaaaallly? This author doesn't know music. This should be called the Dallas Observers Number One Idiot who doesn't listen to the musicians he devalues, and probably shouldn't write.

Melissa Finn
Melissa Finn

Seriously, the part where the author questions Meg White as to be even considered a drummer? Really? There's a reason Jack took her last name. If you had ever been to a white stripes show and seen the beauty that those two have when they play, there's no "horrendous attempt" of her to keep in time with Jack's genius "bleusy guitar rhythm". Literally, has the author ever even seen them perform? I seriously doubt it, because Meg White is amazing and the duo have an unimaginable ability to synchronize and play together. Thumbs down DO.

Jon Pitt
Jon Pitt

Terry Bozzio is a monster drummer and uses every bit of that awesome kit! Anybody who started playing with Frank Zappa at age 17 is all right with me.

joshWAH__
joshWAH__

All douchness aside, everyone of these players, with the exception of Animal, can shred. They can all play. Even though they may not all be Buddy Rich, each person has their own style of playing and has mastered it very well. Even though I whole heartedly agree about Lars Ulrich, I still can't deny his ability's. Most legitimate drummers know he isn't all that great, however: what he did for that genre was very progressive. Calling out all these hardworking musicians as "douche bags," only makes you look like a douche. It takes a bro to know a bro.

rbeezlee
rbeezlee

Phil Collins?  Terry Bozzio?  A Muppet?  I'll give you Meg White.  At least (one presumes) she uses a douche.   

Again. A Muppet?  It's an inanimate object, you doofus.  It's bad enough that this publication will actually allow you to post this stuff up; but must it be this shitty?

barryguitar
barryguitar

Nate, you are a musically illiterate douch in a market where readers will recognize you as such if you keep this up. Please do yourself a solid and go the the record store and buy some Brand X albums. There are 23 to chose from. Each and every one of these songs on these records will prove to you that Phil Collins is the greatest drummer ever. The fact that you do not know this is proof that you do not know Brand X. While I understand your desire to put at least one guy old guy on the list you failed to realize that Genesis was just Phils "other", the one that makes him money,  band not his main one. Brand X, Dude. Turn -on to the coolness of Collins. He also has the worlds largest private collection of memorabilia from the Republic of Texas.

Lance_
Lance_

I wanted to hate this article, but I can't.  However, I have to take up for Mr. Lee a bit.  He is a douche, but, he's been doing electronic music for several years now, before the brostep EDM movement or Deadmau5, going back to the old Ministry of Sound days.

Kristin Sprinkle
Kristin Sprinkle

I dont get this...DOUCHIEST? no one on the list is douchey. my opinion.

Reed Fairchild
Reed Fairchild

Animal a douche??? Are you mental?!?!? Animal is such greatness and the fact you call him a douche is absurd!

Rich Eerie
Rich Eerie

Terry Bozzio should be replaced with the drummer of Fantomas, he literally has a wall of cymbals..

Marisol Leija
Marisol Leija

What was the drummers name from spinal tap!? Any of the ones that died! lol

BrianLockett
BrianLockett

Corrections:

"...THEN YOUR claim of her being a 'douchebag' would've had more merit...'

"...but they doesn't mean he's DONNING a kind of personality one would attribute as being a 'douchebag.'"

"...where one could look at them AND personally consider them a 'douchebag'..."

(And if my comment above shows up twice, blame this stupid comment section's wonky system--I've deleted my duplicates like seven times and they won't delete.)

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