The 10 Funniest 35 Denton Band Descriptions

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Joe Appaluccio
Delicate Steve

When you go on the 35 Denton website, it becomes clear that most of the bands sent in their own descriptions. Some are standard musical lexicon-run-of-the-mill "Such and such band emerged from the Bumville scene in 19-dickety-two and have been playing since blah blah blah..." type of stuff. Some are downright pretentious squared: "Such and such band transcends genre and are indefinable blah blah blah..." (OK, no band took itself that seriously, but a few came close.) And then there were the funny, smartass bands. Downright hilarious. Here are 10 of the funniest band self-descriptions on the 35 lineup. Forget the music (most of which is great, incidentally), see these bands for their senses of humor alone.

See also:
-How to Plan Your Night for Each Genre at 35 Denton, with Maps
-The 14 Best Unofficial 35 Denton Shows
-The 35 Must-See Bands at 35 Denton

10. Old Warhorse: (Saturday, 1 pm at Dan's Silverleaf Day Party; From Denton, Texas)

Old Warhorse don't give no damn. Old Warhorse been around. Old Warhorse play the blues, rock and soul. Old Warhorse like to roll. Old Warhorse like to party. The ladies love Old Warhorse. Old Warhorse know how to party. Old Warhorse like warm butter on hot bread. Old Warhorse drive a couch. Old Warhorse satisfies. Old Warhorse love the ladies. Old Warhorse fascinate. Old Warhorse pour honey on biscuits. Old Warhorse get you high. Old Warhorse packing heat. Old Warhorse grilling meat. Old Warhorse know what it is. Old Warhorse don't give no damn.

9. SPACE CAMP Death Squad: (Friday, 10:30 pm at Hailey's; From Austin, Texas)

SPACE CAMP Death Squad is an American television sitcom about identical twin girls Doc Brown and DJ Murk Jones (Tia and Tamera Mowry), who were separated and adopted at birth, when one day they come face-to-face after 14 years apart.
Created by Kim Bass, Gary Gilbert and Fred Shafferman, SPACE CAMP Death Squad starred twin sisters Tia and Tamera Mowry, along with P-tek, Secret Levels and Tim Reid, with Cody Johnson and Zac Sprague joining the group in the fifth season. SPACE CAMP Death Squad was produced by de Passe Entertainment and Paramount Network Television.

The group ran from April 1, 1994 to April 28, 1995 on ABC, and was canceled by the network after two seasons, due to poor ratings. The group was picked up by The WB and aired on that network from September 6, 1995, through May 23, 1999.


8. Idiot Glee: (Friday, 11 pm at J&J's Pizza; From Lexington, Kentucky)

Ashland, Kentucky, 1987. Bill Withers' first secret croons issued decades prior have been ping-ponging between the mountains, for to seed, taking on strange new shapes now that they've gained the Appalachian foothills, frequencies filtering through strip mall and holler, o'er skatepark and Taco Bell. A divine herald. James Friley hears the call.

Young James experiments with the pop form. With Bedtime, he perfects the rock shanty. He jams with Lexington's Kraut punks and noise scum. But that age-old hills-soul haunts him.

7. PVC Street Gang: (Friday, 9:30 pm at Mellow Mushroom; From Dallas Texas)

The PVC Street Gang is a rock band. Explain more than that is unnecessary, just to find everything that you like or that ever liked rock, waiting for a fine specimen of the genre. Do not miss it. The beat and bass are undeniable and have been operating for decades, the voice has that rare balance between anger and mockery; guitars, punchy, cut here and there. All sentences are propaganda, slogans ready to bravados aloud. Very, very simple, but there is intelligence in the way pop music was assembled: the pause climate in which only remain low and hit, and hit or vocal or guitar and the beat. When one realizes, and spent the whole song was not dull, because there were always small changes around you. Look, be in danger. And please stop with this lazy litany of "rock is dead". He always knew how to adapt to the zeitgeist, in sound and aesthetics. Looks like a cockroach.

6. Dust Congress: (Saturday, 10:30 pm at Dan's Silverleaf; From Denton, Texas)

Things not working out for you lately? Stuck in a rut at work or with your loathsome significant other? Feel like life is just a cruel joke and there's no way out? Well, yeah. Sounds about right. Dust Congress has been saying that the whole time.


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