My 12-Year-Old Stepson Reviews The Dark Side of the Moon

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My 12-year-old stepson Lewis, whose favorite band is Green Day, had never heard Pink Floyd before. I'm not sure how he's managed this - his grandfather plays in a Pink Floyd tribute band for goodness sake. So I thought we could sit down one rainy evening, have him listen hard to 1973's The Dark Side of the Moon, and pass the verdict of a new generation on one of the most iconic albums of the 20th century.

It was an auspicious beginning; when he was informed the album would be 45 minutes long, he responded, "Forty-five minutes?! Are there like 20 songs on it?" I replied that no, there were nine, and he seemed genuinely horrified. I think the days of listening to an album in order, all the way through, might be on their way out. Then when the album started, he kept turning it up because he didn't understand why the album started out silent. Oh, dear. Welcome to '70s prog, Lewis.

We also made kids listen to:
- Fugazi: "I like when they shout things."
- Ministry: "They're not really good role models for kids."

"Speak To Me/Breathe"
"Interesting" (said in a very skeptical voice)

"On the Run"
"Is there a war on or something?"

"Time"
"A proper song! It took three songs to get to a real song! It's about bloody time." (He really did say that.)

"The Great Gig In The Sky"
"What's going on? I don't understand Pink Floyd."

"The backing music was kind of nice, and it suited the screaming lady. Wasn't that bad."

"Money"
"What's the deal with all these intros?"

"How is money a crime?!"

"I was a little bit bored. I wasn't like, 'Oh, this is a good song.' It's just an okay song. I've heard better and heard worse."

"Us And Them"
"This seems like the kind of song they'd have in a posh restaurant."

"Any Colour You Like"
"Speechless. It was just too crazy. It's like somebody in a crazy asylum getting gradually more sane but then relapsing into even more crazy."

"Brain Damage"
"The music was pretty good, it all came together. I liked the backup singers, they were good."

"Eclipse"
"Started off pretty well. I thought it was going to go on though, and it didn't. So it ended very badly. Why did they end it there?"

Lewis' overall verdict? "BAD. I would only recommend this if it was the last CD left on Earth and all other music had been destroyed. It did have good parts, but it was mainly bad. I'm sad now. That was not a good album. It was a waste of 45 minutes. I'd say it should be in the worst ten records ever made, not one of the ten best. It was at least better than Justin Bieber, but that's not hard."

Ouch. Still, this will all change when he goes to college.


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21 comments
martune
martune

Greatness! Thank goodness you didn't make him listen to "Meddle".

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

"It's about bloody time."

 

Awesome. 

rofl
rofl

Your kid is a hipster who uses British words and spells words with OU intentionally.  "How is money a crime?" congratulations on raising a kid who fits in pretty well in Highland Park or wherever!

MinxtheJinxBangBang
MinxtheJinxBangBang

My nephew is 15 and he absolutely gets Pink Floyd and all things prog rock (loves Peter Gabriel era Genisis, King Crimson, etc). I personally don't love (or hate) Pink Floyd and I have grown to re-appreciate some prog rock again (I rebelled against it as so many did of a certain generation) but my sentiments are more attuned to punk rock. I can't argue with the opinion of this gentleman's son - he's entitled! But one kid (and one adult - myself!) who doesn't give two s**ts for Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon album says nothing of the bands actual worth on todays crop of young listeners. 

janikphoto
janikphoto

He states that all other music would need to be destroyed before choosing Pink Floyd, yet he also states it is better than Beiber?  This is a contradiction.  If it is truly better than Beiber's ventures, he would choose Pink Floyd's DSOTM as the fourth to last album in the world, unless he also considers the Beiber remix albums... then PF would be played as the sixth to last album in existence.  This is why twelve year olds make for horrible journalists - they don't fact-check or proof-read.  

Mervis
Mervis

Solution - one big fattie.

Scarcrow
Scarcrow

LOL, god forbid the kid feels something, shoulda just sent him straight to Ummagumma

MattL11
MattL11

I didn't like Pink Floyd when I was 12 either. The fact that he thinks it's better than Justin Bieber is a good sign. 

rofl
rofl

kid needs to smoke more weed and stop using words like bloody and posh

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