A Dispatch From the Untapped Beer and Music Festival
See also: The people of Untapped Festival
Nick Rallo The Antlers win best sound check ever for singing the words "hot dogs" in different keys
Listen: Dallas, Texas has become unstuck in time. At least that's how it felt in the short break between the shot glass full of beer and the guy in front of me wearing a Vonnegut jersey that bore the number five. That's a Slaughterhouse Five reference, right?
One thing's for sure: if the human race still had the Great Library of Alexandria, which cataloged, you know, all human knowledge at the time, then someone, somewhere would have to catalog yesterday's weather for the Untapped Festival as one of The Great Things. There was pumpkin-flavored beer, a cool breeze and Christmas lights in the trees.
Anyway, here's my play-by-play of the festival, which took place at Trinity Groves in West Dallas:
2:34 p.m. - A man leans out of the window of a parked, running van and asks, sadly, "It's sold out?" to an Untapped staff member.
2:57 p.m. - I get my beer card, which is sort of like Bingo if "Bingo" meant, "Hey, I'm schwasted," and head straight towards the Dogfish Head line. Guy in front of me asks, "What's the pumpkin ale like?" The woman behind the keg responds, "It's a pumpkin beer." I take vigorous notes, also a pumpkin beer. Blood alcohol level: 7%
3:00 p.m. - Catch the last few minutes of a simmering Blackstone Rangers set. It's got a National's Alligator thing going on. Lots of sunglasses I admire around here.
3:11 p.m.- Avery's beer booth had no line, which is mildly criminal. Got the IPA. In front of Zhora, the crowd is doing that thing where they stand a solid ten yards form the stage, myself included. Except for the one tie-dyed shirt guy who's dancing like he's the only human on the planet. There's also a guy sitting in a plastic chair. Blood alcohol level: 13.5%
Nick Rallo Mysterious chair guy, way into it concert dancer
3:16 p.m. - Sarah Jaffe sighting. Man, she's dressed all cool. My clothes aren't that cool. I'm dressed like balding Michael Cera.
3:20 p.m. - Zhora, which features former Ishi member Taylor Rea, is really soaring. Rea delivers an evil laugh into the microphone, which has been pitch shifted and reverb'd. Scares the shit out of me a little bit. Having an Avery Rascal now, which is summery. Blood alcohol level: 19.1%
3:32 p.m. - A kind soul grabbed my beer card as it nearly fluttered away. Good Samaritan, FTW.
3:39 p.m. - Abita's Select Roggen Weizen is keeping me company during a set from David Dondero. He's playing some esoteric folk, solo. His songs sound just like the soundtrack to the Robin Hood animated movie. I'm pretty sure there was a song from the point-of-view of a chicken about to fried. Blood alcohol level: 26.1%
4:03 p.m. - Guy has shirt that reads, "You look like...I need another beer." I consider shouting, very loudly, "You calling me ugly?!?"