The 15 Worst Local Band Names

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Inputting hundreds of music listings per week to be featured online and in print in the Observer, I see the occasional band name so bad I question my existence on this earth. Some are funny. Some are vile. Some are embarrassing.

In fact, the idea of having a band name is kind of stupid. You don't round up three or four friends and say, "Whenever we get together, let's call ourselves Space Explosion." Or if you do, you certainly don't expect others to take you seriously.

Nevertheless, some bands (a rare few) do come up with a good, workable band name. The following, however, is a list of some of the worst ones I've seen in recent months.

Poo Live Crew
Every time I see this band listed in some Fort Worth dive's music calendar, I laugh a little.

3
The only reason this band is on the list is because of how un-Googleable their name is. How do they expect anyone to find them on the web? See also: Adair's Wednesday night house band, Red.

Bone Doggie & The Hickory Street Hellraisers
The problems with this band name are two-fold. Just having an ampersand in your band's name puts it dangerously close to being on this list, but when the number one guy in your band goes by Bone Doggie, you've got a level-red bad band name on your hands.

Vanilla Face Jones
Trying to figure this one out. Is it racial commentary or does one of the band members have a face that tastes like vanilla? It might be a Borat reference that falls flat, especially considering that most of the trio's catalog consist of Beatles covers.

The entire Curtain Club calendar
Reaper Crew, Lotus Sutra, Psymatix, Noey and The Nastys, Decide Your Betrayal, Ligma, The Eighth Digit, Slow To The Cause: All bands playing at The Curtain Club in the next week. Almost forgot to include this gem: And Jesus Wept. Of all the Bible verses to misquote, they chose the shortest one.

Graceland Ninjaz
As far as cover bands go, the Ninjaz are actually really good, but not good enough to let a name like that slide.

Whiskey Dick
Why anyone would want to be associated with such a disappointing occurrence is beyond me, but the burly Fort Worth duo own it.

Los TexManiacs
It started off well. They were on the right track for a few letters. What probably happened is one of the guys was obsessed with working the word "maniac" into the name.

Old Snack
Great band. Terrible name.

Fat By the Gallon
You'd think this would be a jam band, but Fat By the Gallon perpetrate pretty forgettable pop punk under an unforgettably bad moniker.

Wo Fat
Another in a long line of bands referencing Hawaii Five-0.

Fatty Lumpkin
Granted, Fatty Lumpkin has a singular vision and follows it. They make really jammy reggae rock. The name, though: Unforgivable.

Pimpadelic
This band name is low hanging fruit. They've been around here for years, but the name is still awful.

Tyrannosorceress
This band name is actually pretty awesome. It could somehow also go on a best band names list.

Jonny Pecker & The Beaver Bustin' Pickle Weasels
This is it. The number one worst band name I've ever heard anywhere.

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26 comments
Mouthbreather
Mouthbreather

Did Urine Trouble break up? If not, they were robbed!

lilibullet
lilibullet

Ok, I do not or will I ever take this magazine seriously. I believe the writers are pathetic and give probably the worst reviews in Dallas. I've seen some pretty bad bands play in Dallas who have NO promise whatsoever regardless of bad names or not. But seriously all you review on are the names?! That's pathetic and looks horrible on Daniel hulklebarrysuckadick as a writer.. your legal name is almost as bad as some of the made up names. Now, when I think of the Dallas Observer, the first thing that comes to mind is bum toiletries and prostitution. This is my review of Daniels review, I am still shocked that they probably pay you for your ignorant work and horrible reviews. Thank you Daniel for doing your magazine its justice and living up to no high expectations of Dallas.

countessbraley
countessbraley

Yes, there are some pretty interesting band names out there probably because all the hippies in the 60's and 70's used up all the good dope resources and left this generation with nothing to explore on or too much time in the hooka bar tripping on spiked energy drinks!! Dang it!Every begining band is going to get criticism from every media source that either goes by word of mouth or has seen the show themselves. Big named bands and musicians alike for generations have all gone under the heat gun of criticism in their beginings and survived by making the mark with thier onstage gimmicks and becoming a household name surpassing the commentaries of negative press or media attention. i.e. Wicked Lester, Thin Lizzy, Blue Oyster Cult, OZZY, etc.

 Heavy Metal has taken a different direction and has chemically split up into several different types. One thing is very clear, it's still here in our society in several different names, sounds, groups, and people. When your a small band pimping yourselves out to these little shit holes and dives, the real deal is to take the punches and roll on no matter what one person or group of people have to say about you. The "club bands" all rise or fall because of thier limitations until they are in the right place at the right time. Just like the 2 bands I know, there is a difference and but they have one thing in common. 2 brothers, some names in a hat, some close friends and two cat's that got a lucky chance from hell. So the band name history has'nt been faded no matter how bad the press or public attack them on thier performance because they have the balls to keep pushing forward to reach their goal without taking numbers or orders to do what everyone else is writting, playing, or recording. With support from family, friends, and fans who like the band and care to attend the shows that's what makes it happen. So what's in a name? 

Txlongwillie
Txlongwillie

So whats really in a name to get your attention right, I think all of these bands on this list has gotten everyones attention its free publicity I bet all the bands in dallas wish they were on this list cause its got everyone talking now !!!

poop
poop

Ugh i saw reaper crew at curtain call and not only is their name stupid their music fucking blows

Travis Rolbiecki
Travis Rolbiecki

So wrong brother! You see Dallas has tons of great music including several on that list. The observer should shut the fuck up about band name and just simply support the scene! There is no real scene in Dallas because you have local papers bashing bands! Who cares if you like the band or love the band! Just support so the music can be recognized on a national scale not just Dallas. Trust me!

Evan
Evan

spend all your life on your music, but spend less than 5 minutes picking out a anme. got it.

Evan
Evan

you're right. gave 3 another shot. they're shit. thanks for keeping me honest.

Joe Tone
Joe Tone

Good music in Dallas can be and is noticed, all the time, by multiple outlets including this one. And if for some reason that stops, I somehow doubt a story about shitty band names will be the culprit. Come on, man.

Love and hate
Love and hate

Horrible article! This is why good music in Dallas can never be noticed.

Barryguitar
Barryguitar

This has to be the worst D.O. music article ever. Keep reading. Its also one of the best comment threads ever.  

Countryfied Metalhead!
Countryfied Metalhead!

You are a jackass! Whiskeydick and Pimpadelic are two of the best bands in America not just North Texas! Whiskeydick is currently on tour throughout North America. And that name only makes them more popular. And that conditon is currable. There's even a song about it. Pimpadelic, also nation-wide, with lead singer Easy Jesus Coe rock the house! More originality than YOU, the writer of this article could ever dream of. What about Three Dog Night(North Texas) Do some research numnuts!

MOD
MOD

Thanks for the free press Adrian!

Darbyfrg
Darbyfrg

I sure am glad I have never read your articles before, and you can be sure I will not consult with you regarding what bands are good vs. bad. Just as a matter of curiosity, what exactly qualifies you as a music critic? Do you have a degree in Music? Or just opinions? Reaper Crew is a group of boys aged 16-17. They are damned good, better than many of their older peers. Way to encourage local musician's. Your name will be remembered and shared in a negative way, just as you have done to "all bands playing the Curtain". 

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

those are all good things

Wes Word
Wes Word

musician here... loved it. only wish I had made it on the list!!! I mean..c'mon! Psychedelephant...it's a big galoot on drugs or something. and to any true expressionists out there....no publicity is bad publicity. shameless promotion (www.reverbnation.com/psychedelephant) 

Bentley Knotts
Bentley Knotts

some day you will be old , fat and gross too. or if you do stay skinny then you will still be skinny and gross. No teeth. maybe a wrinkled tramp stamp..A few fatherless kids in and out of jail.I can't see you so you may be young and gross now. I think it is funny when young people make fun of the same thing they will all be someday

Darrylrs
Darrylrs

what's funny is that a lot of great bands have shitty names. Slobberbone???? the joke is that they know the band name is terrible. it is part of the band's lore. Old 97's?? yes, let's name the band after a train wreck. best band name I ever heard was this group out of san francisco called shitty shitty band band. no joke.

Pecos_Drifter
Pecos_Drifter

 And lest we not forget "Zorro and the Blue Footballs".......

Pecos_Drifter
Pecos_Drifter

Jonny Pecker & the Beaver Bustin' Pickle Weasels are the voice of a new generation........drop the bomb now........ 

countessbraley
countessbraley

Besides, as long as the clubs keep booking a band, they are going to make thier cut no matter how bad the band is the club will get paid by the people who walk in the door, buy a drink, etc. The bands are self sustained by thier own budget and time. They will be lucky enough to make even for the gas they blow for even the tiniest or emptiest of gig's.

Jdtlong
Jdtlong

Well I would think everyone blows if my name was poop

G.W.Bush
G.W.Bush

Your right Evan... They are the shit!!!! ♥♥♥ 3

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