Five Ways We Might Be Listening To Music In the Future

By Nick Rallo Mon., May 21 2012 at 12:45 PM

Portable Portal can put you at any concert in time! Warning: Portal will not be height specific

The human race will remember 2012 as the year that birthed a new kind of hologram, but that technology is just the jumping-off point in this exciting era of interactive music experience. New research allows us to look into technology that might shape the way we listen to music in the next few decades, excluding The Great Mind War of 2033.

The Portable Portal
Product opens a wormhole that leads to your favorite concert moment in time. Program the time card, toss on any flat surface, and step in!*
*Warning: The Portable Portal is incredibly dense. Opening near major cities or neighborhoods could result in spacial tearing, severe head trauma and disorientation. Do not open at midnight, or near light-weight objects.

How to insert iBody. The tiny mechanical arms will do the rest!

iBody
A soft gel insert, equipped with a iMotor, propels to your kidney and attaches itself to adrenal gland. The device feeds off your adrenaline and will activate when you get "pumped up." iBody will select a song, and broadcast it at 30 DB.
*Recommended insertion point is the anus.
**iBody must be preloaded with songs before insertion.

MeDish**
A self-launched, personal satellite that allows you to broadcast* your own expert music opinion and song choice in a 100-mile radius.
*MeDish receivers will take up to one year to locate MeDish satellite in orbit.
**MeDish contains Uranium
Warning: MeDish is not responsible for destruction of satellite due to space debris or asteroids.

Tags:

Bret Michaels' haunting eyes, future music listening

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Killtron

Not to nitpick, but if the 'new' hologram mentioned at the beginning of this article is referring to the one used for the 2pac performance at Coachella, then you should know that it's not new at all, not even in that capacity. Gorillaz did the same thing in 2005 at the Grammys.