Play Me Back Home: A Playlist For Rick Perry
After what literally felt like four years, Rick Perry has finally ended his campaign for President, thrown his support at Newty G., and is returning to Texas. He said it best himself: "I know when it's time to make a strategic retreat."
As we continue to endure debate after debate in the Republican circus (seriously, have there ever been this many debates? Is Terrence Malick filming it?), we can now rest easy knowing Ricky's back doing what he does best -- infringing on the reproductive rights of women, shooting at wild game from helicopters and laying off teachers. In his honor, we've compiled a playlist for his long journey back. You can't catch a rainbow in a jar, but you can certainly shoot at it.
Merle Haggard, "Ramblin' Fever"
Haggard had to cancel his remaining tour dates, including a stop at Billy Bob's on Saturday, after he was hospitalized with pneumonia. We wish him a speedy recovery, and think Ricky would approve his message.
Whitesnake, "Here I Go Again"
If Perry wants to stop being Governor, move out to the country, work on his IROC-Z and shoot guns, who are we to judge? Follow your dream, buddy. Really, do it.
Journey, "Open Arms"
Hey, we forgot all about you calling Herman Cain "brother" during that Las Vegas debate.
Player, "Baby Come Back"
Guns 'N Roses, "Welcome to the Jungle"
This was no doubt playing in Rick's head when he forgot all those federal agencies he wanted to get rid of.
Harry Nilsson, "Without You"
As I am a huge Nilsson fan, I would never want to taint his legacy, but this particular video's "lone wolf" motif is appropriate.
Oingo Boingo, "Dead Man's Party"
No explanation needed, really.
Geto Boys, "Let a Ho Be a Ho"
Welcome back, Rick.