Play Me Back Home: A Playlist For Rick Perry

rickperryfightscommunism.jpg
After what literally felt like four years, Rick Perry has finally ended his campaign for President, thrown his support at Newty G., and is returning to Texas. He said it best himself: "I know when it's time to make a strategic retreat."

Ah, but he's given us so many amazing moments. Who could forget this galvanizing force? Or his hilarious "drunk dad" bit? Or when he forgot what the voting age is?

As we continue to endure debate after debate in the Republican circus (seriously, have there ever been this many debates? Is Terrence Malick filming it?), we can now rest easy knowing Ricky's back doing what he does best -- infringing on the reproductive rights of women, shooting at wild game from helicopters and laying off teachers. In his honor, we've compiled a playlist for his long journey back. You can't catch a rainbow in a jar, but you can certainly shoot at it.

Merle Haggard, "Ramblin' Fever"
Haggard had to cancel his remaining tour dates, including a stop at Billy Bob's on Saturday, after he was hospitalized with pneumonia. We wish him a speedy recovery, and think Ricky would approve his message.

Whitesnake, "Here I Go Again"
If Perry wants to stop being Governor, move out to the country, work on his IROC-Z and shoot guns, who are we to judge? Follow your dream, buddy. Really, do it.

Journey, "Open Arms"
Hey, we forgot all about you calling Herman Cain "brother" during that Las Vegas debate.

Player, "Baby Come Back"
See above.

Guns 'N Roses, "Welcome to the Jungle"
This was no doubt playing in Rick's head when he forgot all those federal agencies he wanted to get rid of.

Harry Nilsson, "Without You"
As I am a huge Nilsson fan, I would never want to taint his legacy, but this particular video's "lone wolf" motif is appropriate.

Oingo Boingo, "Dead Man's Party"
No explanation needed, really.

Geto Boys, "Let a Ho Be a Ho"
Welcome back, Rick.


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5 comments
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Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

I was hoping the country as a whole would take him, so we could take back our state.  I heard his exit speech today, and his god references made me hide my silverware......again, people laugh at us, because we come across as bumpkin dipshits with Bush, Perry and Craig James. 

GAA
GAA

Fuck Rick Perry

want2prtyw/audra
want2prtyw/audra

"You can't catch a rainbow in a jar, but you can certainly shoot at it."marry me.

Bryansmith
Bryansmith

now the bald face lying douche bag needs to return the balance in campaign chest to the State of Texas whom he billed for his run at office. 

Nick R.
Nick R.

"Is Terrence Malick filming it?"

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