BUZZ KILL: Fifteen Songs About What Happens To You When You Do Drugs.
Where were we, you ask?
Oh. About that. Well, sorry to "harsh your mellow" and all, but, um, some of us don't work behind the counter at the local head shop; we have actual, real jobs that require us to be places between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., and we can't just wander around participating in all those "chill" activities you and your buddies have so diligently planned for your fake holiday today.
So, on that note, we present you with what's sure to be "a major buzz kill." Yes, that's right: We've compiled a list of songs about not doing drugs -- or at least songs that serve as a little bit of a warning about where these illicit substances can take you.
Why? Because there are way too many songs glorifying you and your stupid-ass dreads. Also: Because we have real jobs.
See our list after the jump. And, if you don't like it, try reading it on weed.
15. Marilyn Manson -- "Coma White"
In the chorus, Manson sings that "all the drugs in the world won't save her from herself." Well, guess what, stoner? He's talking to your dumb, unable-to-interpret-metaphors ass.
14. The Verve -- "The Drugs Don't Work"
It's in the song title, stupid.
13. Jimmy Eat World -- "Drugs or Me"
Pick one, already. (HINT: Don't pick drugs.)
12. Red Hot Chili Peppers -- "Under The Bridge"
Sure, do drugs. Then end up homeless, sleeping under a bridge, talking asinine bullshit about how the city is your "only friend," and all that. Good choice.
11. Guns N' Roses -- "Mr. Brownstone"
You know what happens if you used to do a little, but a little wouldn't do it? Some dude dances with you. And then he won't leave you alone.