Memorial Concert For Adam Carter Set To Take Place On Wednesday Night at The Bone

Categories: DFW Music News
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Allison V. Smith
Adam Carter
I'm really torn with how we should be handling coverage of Spector 45 bassist Adam Carter's recent suicide.

Adam was a sweet guy, a great sound man, a heck of a musician (in addition to his role in Spector 45, he played in a number of other great bands, including The Marfalites and Somebody's Darling), and, more often than not, a little too crazy for his own good. He was also a friend. But, in the wake of another friend's suicide earlier this year, that of his bandmate Frankie Campagna, I'm mostly just having trouble wrapping my head around this.

I'm sure I'll have something more to say later, but for now, mostly because the last thing I want to do is glorify suicide, I'll simply pass along to you the details for a memorial gathering and concert, both of which are taking place in Deep Ellum on Wednesday night and hope to raise money for suicide prevention.

You'll find that information after the jump.

On Wednesday, March 23, from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. at La Grange (2704 Elm St.), friends and family are invited to share memories, testimonials, food and drink with one another. Those interested in attending this quiet portion of the memorial are being asked to RSVP to the event on Facebook.

Later that same night, starting at 8 p.m. at The Bone (2724 Elm St.), a memorial concert will begin. Donations are encouraged at the door, and all proceeds, as previously mentioned, will go toward suicide prevention. Below are the scheduled performers and set times for the event.

8:00 - Bluntforce Crew
8:30 - Jesse Podunk
9:00 - Jason Michael of Jones band
9:15 - Dave Hickmott of the Felons
9:30 - Monco Poncho
10:15 - Ten Can Riot
11:00 - Scary Cherry & the Bang Bangs
11:45 - Mo Brown
12:00 - The Marfalites
12:45 - Jes Spires/Justin Kipker
1:00 - Rodeo Clown Dropout

Location Info

Map

The Bone - CLOSED

2724 Elm St., Dallas, TX

Category: Music


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19 comments
TheresAlwaysHope
TheresAlwaysHope

I don't think Adam doubted one bit that his friends would have been there for him if he asked.

In fact, that's exactly why people who are the most serious about ending their lives often show few signs: because they know someone WOULD stop them.

That's what's so insidious about mental illness. Even when people are get quality care, just like with cancer or diabetes, at times mental illness can be terminal.

For someone with as much heart, talent, and spirit as Adam to do what he did, all we know for sure is that his brain wasn't functioning right. To try and rationalize his actions or second guess his friends after the fact denies that reality, and inflicts more unnecessary pain.

The grief of a suicide survivor - which you are by definition if you're reading this and care for Adam - is unlike any other. I strongly encourage you to check out websites, forums and/or books for suicide survivors, and to talk about your feelings with others.

The Suicide and Crisis Center on Swiss Avenue has an outstanding free support group for survivors: http://www.sccenter.org/sos.ht....

Even if you're handling your grief well, attending even one meeting might allow you to make a dramatic difference for someone else who isn't.

That's the best way I can think of to honor Adam.

P.S. I'm not in touch with many of Adam's friends or family, so if you are please share or post this link wherever they may be most likely to see it in case it can help someone.

David Fury
David Fury

I find the comment about "Adam's friends not stepping up to help him" disturbing, uninformed, and thoughtless.You said yourself that you did not know him, nor his friends, so how can you say that?Idiots like you who pretend they care are/were part of Adam's pain, and I am his friend, and close one, and can say that with all honesty.He is gone now. YOU CAN'T SAY that no one stepped up or cared. That's bullshit.Go comment on things that maybe you know something about and keep your uninformed opinions to yourself.

TheresAlwaysHope
TheresAlwaysHope

I knew Adam casually through the music scene, though I saw him less frequently the last couple of years. The way he shared his love so warmly, while also wearing his torment on his sleeve, affected me deeply despite spending much less time with him than some others who’ve commented here. To their words, let me add this:

No one is beyond help, ever.

Adam couldn’t see that through his pain, just like he couldn’t see how much he gave those who love him even on his most difficult days.

The world is a worse place, not a better one, now that Adam is no longer among us.

I’m heartbroken by this news, even though having worked in mental health I know neither I nor anyone else could have changed the outcome unless Adam allowed us to. And I know his close friends gave an immense amount over the years on numerous occasions when Adam found himself in bad places.

Still, if you feel hopeless and need help, you owe it to those who love you to ask again.

Any short-term burden of sitting with someone, either in person or even just over a quiet phone line, pales in comparison to the type of anguish Adam’s loved ones are going to suffer for a very long time, even though they bear no fault in his action.

If you can read this, you have the strength to call or text someone – anyone – and tell him or her that you just need to not be alone.

It may be easier to talk to someone you don’t know, too. Call the # Pete mentions above: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Hokuspokuss
Hokuspokuss

I was very privileged to know and enjoy Adam's vibrant persona for many years. I also am equally thankful that none of my bands clamored for a slot to "honor" Adam at the "memorial" show @ The Bone. Let's be honest, everyone has an angle if they choose to use it...especially musicians. I am not immune to this faux-sentiment of PR, but not this time.

3rd Wheel Marketing
3rd Wheel Marketing

It's a tough one, I understand completely where you are coming from. I feel like all the spilling beer and revving our bikes up for Frankie's memorial put that imagery in Adam's mind. I imagine this will be much more subdued.

David Fury
David Fury

Also, this memorial is a rememberance of Adam's life, not a glorification of his death, and ALL proceeds collected WILL go to local suicide prevention resources.

Guest
Guest

I have lost several people very dear to my heart to suicide, and holding a memorial service/concert in Adam's honor is in no way glorifying the act, but remembering who he once was and allowing his friends an opportunity to cope in the best way they know how. If someone has an issue with that, they are not being forced to attend. If anything else, this concert will remind people to show as much love to their friends and family as they can so that none of them will think they are alone in the world. Gotta find beauty in the pain, no matter what.

Charles
Charles

Frankie's end was a very sad one, just as is Adam's. That being said, I was disturbed most by the glorification of Frankie's death by those that called themselves friends and by a certain club's promotion of his "memorial concert." I hated hearing titles like "our fallen brother" tossed around. Frankie wasn't a war hero that fell in the line of duty. He was a confused and disturbed young man that made a very permanent and very selfish decision that hurt a lot of people. And I feel like that "hero's funeral" he received did not give the right impression to a lot of young people about suicide. And now another bandmate? I know it's your job to report the facts and I appreciate that. But let's not glorify another terrible act. I can't even believe there is another "memorial concert." Are people so detached from reality? Those are my thoughts anyway.

David Fury
David Fury

Indeed. This lifetaking-on-your-own bidness has to stop. Adam was like my little brother. What he did has figuratively ripped my heart out. We that knew and miss him and love him will work out our grief in our own time. And for those you who are even remotely entertaining the idea of this as being a "way out", it is not. When you leave you will leave many hurting and desolate inside. NOTHING in this life is bad enough to consider this. There are always people that care, even when you are mostly surrounded by douchebags. STOP THE MADNESS.

BTW, the updated list of bands for the memorial is as follows:

8:00 Bluntforce Crew8:30 Sweetly Morrow9:00 Jason Michael of Jones band9:15 Dave Hickmott of the Felons9:30 Monco Poncho10:15 Ten Can Riot11:00 Scary Cherry & the Bang Bangs11:45 Mo Brown12:00 The Marfalites12:45 Jes Spires/Justin Kipker1:00 Rodeo Clown Dropouts

Yvonnecr
Yvonnecr

Pete. Please know that you are doing the world of good by talking about it. and letting the "survivors of Suicide" know that there is help out there. www.sccenter.org has the very best survivors help. all the family, friends and other loved ones rally are in such upheavel that they don't know what to do.. your talking about it helps.. I do so wish that at service more would talk about it. At the recent Skip Gurrerio's service.. they started with the "elephant in the room" and I could hear such a sigh of relief.. because people didn't know what to say to the family they didn't know what to feel and Rev. Bill Smith made it clear that family and friends were not to blame and please don't put that burden on yourself.

Well, I started out to just say.. no it's not glorifying Suicide.. it's pointing out a FACT.. that has to be dealt with or it will eat you up. thanks so much for the way you've handled this.

Yvonne Crum

TheresAlwaysHope
TheresAlwaysHope

Let me add that if you find yourself helping someone who’s severely depressed, anxious, or thinking about harming themselves, it’s important you seek professional help promptly. While you may help someone through their feelings temporarily, the problem will come back without proper care.

Green Oaks Hospital in Dallas provides help for people in crisis even if they don’t need to be hospitalized. Though weak government funding for mental healthcare limits their resources, they treat everyone the same regardless of their background, and can often help those without money access free treatment programs. They’re located at 75/Central and Forest Lane behind Medical City and you can go there 24/7 without an appointment. The phone number is (972) 770-0818.

If in doubt, call 9-1-1 and they will assist you.

Suspect56
Suspect56

I was engaged to Adam in 2007. He indeed was a loving person, but ensconced in an insurmountable amount of pain. Those who really knew him know that. He was troubled, but he was passionate and caring. He was talented as all hell and was devoted to his work, which I will always remember. We had amazing crazy nights together and in the end it didn't work out because we both had issues, but hearing about what he did has left me crying for days. Despite what others thought of me, I will always love Adam from the bottom of my heart, and hope he is happy where he is, and that he isn't suffering anymore. I was always worried about him. I knew about his demons and he couldn't handle the pain. Adam did not do this to triumph somebody else's decision to end their life. I don't know the details, and I'm not sure that I want to, but I know and have always known since I met him in Denton in 2001, that he was passionate, but deeply hurting inside. I will always love Adam. I will always, always love him. I wish that things could have been better for him. I wish that he could have found the strength to overcome his overwhelming sadness and moments of irrationality. I saw him last year for the first time in ages, and he seemed to be the same, however, more distressed and broken. I will never forget the nights and days I shared with him, his infectuous laugh, his sensitivity and his sensitivity to others. Adam just couldn't handle things from a clear perspective and was easily swayed by toxic influences that impaired his judgment, and if things could have turned around for him, as we all know who knew him well, he would have been incredibly successful, but I don't know if he would have been happy. I just pray for him and his family. I pray that Adam is no longer suffering. He's with the angels now, and he's safe. I'll miss him terribly, and will never forget his love, committment and devotion to music, which made him feel complete. I'll miss sitting in the sound booth with him during shows, his hugs and kisses, and that laugh that made everything alright. Adam, you are missed, and you will always be loved, despite what you might think or have thought.

Phillipmcv
Phillipmcv

Persona and clamor aren't exactly fitting here. Moving beyond selfish judgement is a delicate process. Keep that in mind as you wield clout. "mamma take this badge off of me"There's some wisdom on that. Be well

David
David

You're right about the "fallen" comment. I recently used that term because I didn't know how to say it otherwise without sounding too blunt.

Also, it seems like venues are profiteering from these deaths. I didn't attend Frankie's memorial because the facebook invite encouraged people to come watch the bands even if you didn't know Frankie. I thought that was off-putting. Plus, I wanted to attend his funeral. I didn't realize there wouldn't be one.

I don't understand why two venues are hosting memorials tonight. Again, it seems like profiteering.

Sorry for venting on your comment.

Chris Danger
Chris Danger

I was a neighbor of Adam, I didnt get to know him well, but from the times I said a passing hello, he seemed like a pretty decent guy. As someone who attempted suicide many years ago, I know the type of pain and loneliness one can endure. What bothers me about both Frankie and Adam's passings are they could've been prevented with proper prevention and treatment. Instead, their "friends" (I use the term loosely) didnt step up and help out. I dont mean any ill respect for the passed, but I have to wonder if their social circle would've stepped up, could this have been prevented for both these gentlemen.

Suspect56
Suspect56

Chris, You didn't know Adam. It has nothing at ALL to do with his social support and circle. Adam was surrounded by people who loved him and cared for him. He was in so much pain that he couldnt take it anymore. Please don't say anything about someone you never knew. If you got to know him, he would have befriended you, but if he knew what you were saying about him. he wouldn't like you very much, so you obviously didn't make much of an effort to really get to know him, so your credibility is not credible at all. You lived next door to him? Wow. . Don't judge him and his lifestyle and say it was up to his friends to take care of him- thats bullshit. He was in pain and couldn't handle it. And as somone that almost married him, go to hell. He was doing the best he can the best way he knew how. No none could have helped. I wish I could have, but he's free now.

None Given
None Given

i have to say, that's a bit presumptuous to say that nobody stepped up. i know for a fact that, in Adam's case, plenty of people were looking out for him. Unfortunately, there sometimes isn't anything else anybody can do. I'm hoping you didn't mean to insult these people's friends, because i think you have somehow gotten the wrong impression. I think that if you were to seek actual answers, instead of assuming you already know them, you would find a lot of people who have put a lot on the line for both Adam (who i knew best of the two) and Frankie.Regardless of your feelings, i urge you to be more cautious in the future. It seems like you're telling a bunch of very hurt, angry and confused friends that they didn't do enough. I'm sure a lot of them are already feeling that way, but it's not true! at any rate, their is clearly more to this situation than you know so this talk of "stepping up" is pretty uncalled for. It doesn't seem like you know him or his friends very well.

Bill Holston
Bill Holston

Chris, lots of his friends and family have stepped up many times. I'm sure you're just unaware. It's a real tragic loss.

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