​The On The Range piece about Machacado con Huevo last week brought back some old memories from my childhood.

I was born and raised in South Texas by immigrant Mexican parents. My mother was from Guanajuato, and my father migrated from San Fernando, Tamaulipas. Mom's home cooking mostly entailed easy American eats (Yeah, don't ask...), but Dad was all about Mexican comfort foods...mostly bizarre ones.

Some of Dad's funkier dishes were Huevo Perdido (a whipped porridge made of masa, water, and eggs), Arroz con Chorizo y Platano (a paella-like casserole of Mexican rice, chorizo, and banana slices), and Machacado con Huevo y Masa (cured beef sautéed with egg, and masa). I swear living with Dad was like a decade-long episode of something Anthony Bourdain would host. But it wasn't all bad. In fact, a lot of the stuff Dad made for us growing up was downright badass!

And Chris' story gave me a hankering for some of my childhood faves.

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The prized dish.

​A recent survey conducted by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), ranked Spiral Diner's Sketti & Meatballs among the nation's top ten faux meatball dishes.

You'd think the Spiral crew would be doing somersaults and touchdown dances over the news, but these guys are quite used to national press. In 2007, Spiral was named "Restaurant of the Year" by the editors of VegNews Magazine (the most widely-read vegetarian lifestyle publication in America), and the diner was on a short list of contenders for the award again this year. PETA's Vegan Campaign Coordinator Kate Brindle says, "This eatery is a great example of the growing number of restaurants that are satisfying America's hunger for healthy and humane cuisine."

Spiral Diner's award-winning Sketti & Meatballs is made with whole wheat artichoke spaghetti noodles, soy meatballs, and house marinara sauce topped with pine nuts and a basil-rich pesto. But that's not all they've got, meatball-wise.

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​I would've really liked to spend this Thanksgiving with my brother and sister-in-law in Northwest Spain. They throw an amazing bash each year for all of their American friends, then take it to the clubs for late-night dancing and drinks. Fun times, for sure!

My recently retired mother, however, has been itching to get out of Brownsville for a few days, so I nixed the European vacation and invited her over to Dallas for a vegan Thanksgiving.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking: tofurkey. But on past Thanksgivings together, Mom and I have slaved-away prepping black bean tamales, vegan champurrado (a spicy Mexican hot chocolate drink with masa, almond milk, and piloncillo), and vegan pumpkin pies.

his year, I kind of wanna take it easy. Here's what I'm proposing:

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Off limits?

​I find it rather off-putting when militant vegans say things like, "How vegan are you?" or "[I'm] a true vegan."

Hmm...guess I didn't realize this was a competition.

Fact is, no one living in modern day society can be completely vegan. As one of my pals puts it, "If you're breathing air, there's no way you're 100% vegan!" I--along with so many others--have come to terms with this reality.

All veg-heads agree that meat is out of the question, but vegans try to steer clear of all animal-derived ingredients. The reasons behind this are many. And the key word is "try."

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​You might not know that Kona Grill has a completely separate menu for vegans. They keep it hidden behind the host's stand and don't advertise it on their regular menu.

Why keep it hidden? No idea. As one of my friends says, "It's like winking at someone in the dark."

Vegans who have been graced by the out-of-sight menu (on two wrinkled sheets of 8.5x11 all-purpose paper) are already aware that Kona Grill's does a good job with veg-fare. But for those who haven't...
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​I've always had a little bit of a love/hate thing for BuzzBrews Kitchen. Nowhere else in Dallas can vegans get decent sized late night eats, but service isn't really their forte.

My last visit there was on a semi-chilly Saturday night with my buddies Drew, Jamey, and Gray. The guys and I had made our rounds to several outdoor parties and decided to warm up at BuzzBrews. Since the place has no set vegan selections, I schooled the guys on what was fair game for us.

I ordered a Shiner, Garlic Marbles (small Yukon Gold potatoes simmered, then baked with olive oil, garlic, herbs, and spices), Veggie Sausage (which I've always been told was vegan), sautéed mixed veggies (potatoes, shiitake mushrooms, and spinach), black beans (minus cheese), three whole wheat tortillas and three bullets of ketchup. Drew and Gray selected similar sides, and Jamey settled on the Veggie Veggie (86 eggs and cheese, add veggies) which consisted of two wheat tortillas filled with veggie sausage, shiitake mushrooms, spinach, and fresh jalapeños, cilantro and served with Garlic Marbles, pico, and a pickled jalapeño.

First out was our order of beans...topped with feta cheese. We sent them back.

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​May seem bizarre to some that I would compare a South Indian dinner to my Mexican grandmother's breakfast taquitos, but that's exactly what came to mind while chowing down on my potato-filled dosa at Madras Pavilion.

Growing up, my brother Michael and I hated eggs. Still do, in fact. Whenever Grandma would incorporate chicken placenta into our meals, we'd about lose our shit! Eventually she caught on and began experimenting with spices and add-ins to make our meals look and taste as lively as Mom's and Aunt Sylvia's.

One our favorites was Grandma's Papas sin Huevo, a mix of sautéed potatoes, carrots, and peas with garlic, cumin, cayenne, turmeric, and a pinch of cinnamon. Grandma steamed the potatoes and carrots first and went easy on the oil, making the mix mushy and packed with flavor. Loaded onto on an extra-large, homemade flour tortilla...holy hell, it was freakin' awesome!

A lot like my grandmother's Papas sin Huevo taquitos, Madras Pavilion's Mysore Masala Dosa (a large crepe made of rice and lentils, then lathered with a spicy paste) is filled with a mashed mix of potatoes, onions, carrots, peas, cumin, and mustard seed--with sides of lentil soup, red onion sauce, and coconut sauce are served alongside for dipping.

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​Kellogg's just ripped my heart out, slammed it to the dirt, then proceeded to stomp the hell out of it with a seven-inch stiletto!

Ok--high drama, but I'm seriously heartbroken about their recent de-veganizing of one of the best faux meat products on the market. For years, I used Kellogg's MorningStar Farms Grillers Recipe Crumbles for all of my Tex-Mex home cooking (tacos, enchiladas, chile relleno, and most any dish that called for ground beef). They were extra "beefy" in texture and taste, even fooling some of my meat-eating friends into thinking they were chewing on real meat. But for some reason, Kellogg's felt the need ruin a perfect product by adding milk and eggs to it.

I just don't get it. If you're lucky, you might still be able to score the last few bags of MorningStar Farms' original vegan crumbles hidden in the back of your grocer's freezer, but I think it's time to start looking for a replacement--at least until the guys at Kellogg's decide to get their heads out of their asses.

The options:

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​In the spirit of Halloween, I'm going to share a horrifying confession with you guys. A little over a decade ago, I was a regular at the Whataburger on Main St. in Lewisville.

I'd hit that drive-thru five days a week for a double-meat, double-cheese Whataburger with ketchup, mustard, and extra pickles, a large order of French fries, large onion rings, two sides of country gravy, and a large Dr. Pepper. For breakfast.

Pretty frightening, huh?

Yeah, I was a big guy back then, weighing over 300 pounds (more than double my current weight), and on the verge of death. Not sure what possessed me to eat like that--I never went to therapy to find out (though, I have my suspicions)--but I'm so glad I was able to stop that nonsense before giving myself a heart attack!

But you know, I sometimes still crave a good fast-food burger with all the same fixin's. Veggie now, of course. So imagine my excitement when my friend Mark tipped me off to a drive-thru burger joint called Back Yard Burger that serves a vegan burger loaded with all my favorite stuff.

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​While most of my friends were busy working on their costumes for this weekend's Disturbathon, I spent my Saturday night with members of Vegan 101 at their annual Halloween Potluck. My costume: a gay vegan Mormon (black flat-front chinos, pink button-down, black poly tie, sneakers, and yes...a bicycle helmet and a backpack).

Now, if you have to ask where the "vegan" and "gay" come in, just talk to any vegan about silk ties, and any gay man about those pleated Dockers Mormons wear on their Schwinns.

Vegan 101 was founded in 2006 as a small meet-up group, and now boasts over 400 regional members. Open to vegans and non-vegans alike, the "friendly, no pressure group" meets monthly to discuss all things vegan in DFW...mostly at potlucks and other food-centric gatherings. According to their site, all potluck entries must be vegan (no meat, eggs, milk, honey, yogurt, butter, ghee, whey, lard, casein, gelatin, fish, animal broth, etc.), recipes or ingredient lists must be provided, dishes should serve at least six portions, and attendees are encouraged to supply their own plates and utensils.

The final line of the page reads, "When you arrive at the event, we will have a potluck coordinator who will check you in and help you place your dish. They will ensure the above guidelines have been met, so please come prepared."

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