Mario Batali Deep Fried by Fans after Supporting a Texas Pro-Choice Group

Categories: Screen Bites

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Via Lance Cheung
Last week Sarah Silverman and Lizz Winstead hosted a telethon called "Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can Choose," a fund raiser for a variety of Lady Parts Justice, a Texas-based pro-choice organization that promoted the event under the Twitter handle @TXWomenForever. During the telethon chef Mario Batali encouraged people to donate on Twitter:

Hello Americans i am happy to match your donations for the next 30 minutes up to 5 grand in support of @TXWomenForever C'mon !!!!!

See also: Anthony Bourdain Called the Frito Pie "Crap in a Bag," and Then He Blamed It on Texas

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Deep Fry Masters. It's a Show About Deep Frying Things. They Want You to Fry Things.

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FRY IT.

I've been dreaming about this day. The day when fried food and reality TV finally make a TV show baby. And it's finally freaking here, people. Yesterday, I received an email from one of my most reliable deep-fried connections (yes, I have connections in the deep-fried world, and I'm absolutely bragging about that) about a Deep Fry Masters casting call.

It appears to be a real, actual thing that a real, actual network is producing. Which means we all need to get our real, actual asses in gear and figure out how we're going to win whatever fried trophy they're giving the winner.

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Top Chef Seattle: It's over. Really. We Promise This Time.

Categories: Screen Bites

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The Top Chef: Seattle season finale was really good last night. Kristen and Brooke competed for the Top Chef title in front of a live audience and had to serve up dishes for the whole audience of 160 people, plus past winners of Top Chef, plus the judges. They were told to plan for five courses, but the first competitor to win three rounds would immediately be named Top Chef. It was intense. It was totally Iron Chef-y.

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Top Chef Seattle: Season Finale. Part 1. Because This Season Won't Die.

Categories: Screen Bites

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bravotv.com
On the Season Finale of Top Chef: Seattle, they told us that the season finale would be a two-part season finale. I swear, this season won't die, you guys.

At least the photographers at Bravo keep getting "I'm farting" pictures of Tom Colicchio. Everyone likes those. Enjoy.

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Top Chef Seattle: A Valentine to Josh Valentine on Valentine's Day

Categories: Screen Bites

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This week on Top Chef: Seattle, Josh Valentine used Canadian bacon instead of real bacon in the QuickFire, and then zero bacon in the Elimination Challenge. So they sent him home.

(If that's a spoiler for you and you're mad because you hadn't watched the episode yet, here's a reality show pro-tip: Don't read shit about shit you didn't watch until you watch the shit and then it's not shit you didn't watch anymore. Your life is so much easier now. You're welcome.)

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Top Chef Seattle: Valentine Hearts Hats, Plus a Drinking Game for Next Week

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bravotv.com
The best thing about the Top Chef chefs being in Alaska is that Josh Valentine gets to wear even more hats! He wore three hats in this episode. You think that's uninteresting, and that nobody gives any of their shits about what he's wearing? I completely agree. And it's still somehow more interesting than what happened on this week's episode of Top Chef: Seattle.

So, instead of going through a scene-by-scene recap of the episode, let me just say this: Valentine didn't go home! We hope he wins this shit!

Now, let's focus on the future. Introducing the Top Chef Seattle Episode Before the Season Finale Episode Drinking Game:

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Top Chef Seattle: Valentine Makes Fun of People While Having a Handlebar Mustache

Categories: Screen Bites

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Josh Valentine comes from a place of no man manicures, man.

On last night's Top Chef, the contestants were on a cruise ship headed to Alaska. The QuickFire was two hours long, and they had to feed 200 people innovative dishes using iceberg lettuce. Valentine made a tiny wedge salad. Pretty much everyone incorporated bacon into their dishes. And Padmaboobz was wearing a boring sweater. In short, it was the most unbelievably gripping segment of reality television that has ever been on televisions. Never watch it.

After the QuickFire, two of the chefs, Sheldon and Lizzy, went to go get manicures to relax before the Elimination Challenge.

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Top Chef Seattle: Valentine Wins Fried Chicken Challenge by Frying Chicken

Categories: Screen Bites

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When the chefs heard that this week's Elimination Challenge would be a fried chicken challenge, Valentine just about screamed, "AAAAhhahahahahahahahahahahaha eff all you effers, this one's miiiiiiiine!! All mine!!"

I thought that the other contestants would at least make it a little difficult for Valentine to take this challenge from them, but there were few chefs who made legit, on-the-bone, fried chicken. Sheldon made a Momofuku knock-off for David Chang, who owns Momofuku and invented Momofuku fried chicken. Stefan made chicken Cordon Bleu instead of making fried chicken, and Josie kept Guy Fieri-ing so loudly about how kickass her fried chicken always is that we all knew it had to be terrible. Brooke and Lizzy chose to serve up some breaded chicken breast bullshit. They threw away all the bones and cut the breasts off the chicken and fried that. The fuck, you people?

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Top Chef Seattle: We Want To Eat Valentine's Eggduckengoose.

Categories: Screen Bites

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Last week, when they teased this week's episode of Top Chef: Seattle, Padma promised me that the chefs would battle it out during restaurant wars. I was really excited to see Viking Valentine with an axe, or maybe Merman Valentine busting out a trident on someone's ass. But it didn't happen. Instead, the chefs were split into two teams and each team opened a restaurant. Then, the judges ate some food.

The whole thing would've been a let down if Valentine hadn't made some dishes that looked totally bone-worthy.

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Top Chef Seattle: Please Explode Soon, Valentine. You're Our Only Hope.

Categories: Screen Bites

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Please save the season and freak out in some entertaining way, Valentine. We beg of you.

Tesar spent all week begging for #savechefjohn votes to get him back onto Top Chef, but unfortunately he didn't earn enough votes to make it. Probably because he turned down my terms:

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Bet he's regretting that choice. He did, however, agree to twirl Valentine's 'stache on the reunion show, so we can all look forward to that fist fight.

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