Here Weego!

​This year, like most years, the multi-million-dollar-slinging advertising competition known as the Super Bowl was largely dominated by those in the motor vehicle category. But if you were paying close attention, somewhere between the David Beckham ogling, flipping back and forth from the Super Bowl to the Puppy Bowl and alternating chicken wing and seven-layer dip binge eating, you might have noticed some ads featuring our favorite topic, FOOD.

Here's a rundown of the 10 best.

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Bakedbree.com

​Oh, Paula, Paula, Paula. What happened? One day we're fat and happy making ooey-gooey monkey bread, the next we're being secretly photographed eating a burger on a cruise ship. Our gluttony has caught up with us.

But Paula and I go way back. Ours is a tried and true relationship, whipped together one cuppa sugar at a time. So before she switches over to whatever low-sugar, taste-like-cardboard treats, let's reflect on what we've shared.

Here are my top five recipes, for butter or worse.

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Norma's

​Yes, it's National Pie Day. No, we don't know why it isn't a National Holiday. Yes, we're drafting a letter to address this degradation of our national food.

In the meantime, we're offering up a few of our favorites to guide you through your four-hour lunch in which you try each place. We anxiously await your report...

Norma's Cafe (photo above) in Oak Cliff is celebrating National Pie Day with a free slice of Mile-High Cream Pie. Flavors include coconut, chocolate, lemon and chocolate-peanut butter. "While supplies last." They opened at 6 a.m. and the tv trucks were on it early this morning. What are you waiting for?

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Raise the prices on your cake balls, Starbucks. We dare you.

​Starbucks is raising their prices, y'all. I had no idea brown water could cost as much as it already does, and now they're raising the price?

This is a bunch of bologna sandwich.

The Wall Street Journal says that the change "raises the cost of a 'tall,' or 12-ounce, coffee in some New York City stores by 10 cents to $1.85. Not all sizes will see price increases." Prices will also increase in Dallas, Atlanta and other cities across the Northeast and the Sun Belt.

And to that, maybe you say, "Oh, 10 cents? That's not much." But, you're wrong. It's much.

Here are 10 better uses of your extra 10 cents than spending it on stupid fucking Starbucks:

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photo by foodbitch

Loaded sweet potato fries at Company Cafe. They will be eaten again in 2012.

​Resolutions are nasty little things we "make" every January 1 so we can disappointed in ourselves for not living up to our own ridiculous expectations. Well guess what? I resolve to be who I am for the next year, and be fucking happy about it, too. Here's what else I'm going to do.

Gain 10 lbs.
I work for you, Dallas. And I work hard. It's, like, totally a skill to squeeze between five and seven meals into each day, but I'm all about continual improvement. So sure, I might work out a little, maybe buy a bicycle or something. But I'm still going to eat food like the world might end tomorrow and everyone I dine with is from out of town. So I'm more likely than not going to become even more to love.

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​We made it. Another year of writing, bitching and photo-taking, primarily centered around stuffing our faces. Only a few days remain before we strap ourselves in and start the whole process again. Before we welcome 2012, though, let's take a look at what we've done with 2011. Here are City of Ate's 10 most popular posts of the year's past, as decided by our readers with bazillions if mouse clicks.

Look what an under-sexed fast-food obsessed gadgety bunch of trans-fat geeks you guys are.

10. Dallas' Five Best Burgers
As much as some of you readers liked to bitch about the new guy picking best of anything, you clicked our burger post nearly to death. And then almost of a hundred readers chimed in with their own lists in the comment stream. Don't worry. This is the only best list you'll see in this year-end round-up.

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Mr Charlies ended up being a literal blast.

​Every week I try to find a lunch in Dallas that's less than ten bucks. (Of course, empty parking lots, barred windows, cash only and misspelled menu items are always a plus.) Not every meal I discover is delicious, but they're all memorable. Here were my five most memorable Cheap Bastard meals from 2011:

Mr Charlies Hamburgers
It wasn't necessarily the most delicious cheap lunch I've eaten in Dallas, but I'll never forget that meal. An excerpt:

I immediately asked Google to give me directions.

Google: (scared) Uh ... you sure?

Me: Yeah. Mr Charlies Hamburgers. Tell me where that is.

Google: Are you sure, sure, though?

Me: What are you talking about, "Am I sure?" Of course I'm sure. Just fuckin' google yourself, Google.

Google: Fine, asshead. Hope you get crabs.

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​The last weeks of December always serve as an inflection point: We spend 1/4 of our time reflecting on the past year and 1/4 of our time resolving to make the next year a little better. The other half we spend getting fat and drunk. (After all, it's easier to lose five pounds and sober up after New Year's if you just drunkenly packed on 15 in the previous month.)

I'll save resolutions for next week. This week I'll do my best to examine why my jeans are so tight. Here are my top 10 food moments of the last year. Many of the memories had more to do with the circumstances of the day than what was actually on my plate. Food is funny like that.

NHS Tavern burger (pictured above)
I think maybe this food memory is so intense because I'd just gotten to Dallas and was feeling a little rudderless. Sitting at the bar alone at NHS Tavern, I had an absolutely transcendent burger. Since I've gone back, subsequent burgers haven't measured up to that original experience, but I think that may be one of those "caught in a moment" things. They still serve one of Dallas' finest.

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Flickr

​When I dreamed up my ideas for the RedFork space (which are never going to happen), it jogged my memory about many restaurants that I'd love to see arrive and thrive in Dallas. Here are a few more; consider this my Christmas list. If you think a reputable version of one of these restaurants already exists, leave a line in the comments. It would be one hell of a Christmas present.

Nordic Restaurant: A cute little place with an aggressive menu of smoked and pickled fishes and lots of patés, but the real draw would be infused vodka. Not just pineapple but interesting, robust flavors: Cardamom, caraway, anise, horseradish, cucumber -- a selection of true aquavit that pushed diners to experiment with new flavors. Swedish meatballs, too, with lingonberry jam.

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Christmas Depression: It's enough of a thing that terrible Photoshops exist for it.

​The holidays season is nigh. It's a festive time when we get actual mail instead of just bills and Brookstone catalogs, when we can drink and eat to excess with minimal judgment, and we finally, hopefully get that bonus. (Editor's note: Two out of three ain't bad, right?)

Still, it's not all sugar plums and gumdrops. We overeat, we overspend, we self medicate with expired prescription drugs, we cry in the shower. The pressure to have a "perfect" holiday has largely overtaken the pressure to be a nice person. Yet, we toy-soldier on.

But our unacceptable behavior can't go unpunished. Thus, we have compiled a list of Christmas-season food crimes and suitable punishments.

Crime: Giving a Hilshire Farm gift basket, which consists of foods that not only have no nutritional value but that almost anyone could afford to buy themselves, but they don't, because it's terrible.

Punishment: The guilt of knowing you've just given your friend the gift of crippling stomach pains and self loathing. Also you have to eat a McRib.

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