Chips in their full glory.

Simple in premise but with endless variations in execution, behold the nacho. When done properly, a plate of nachos becomes an act of excavation, a work of edible archaeology. We set out to explore some of the more interesting nachos in and around Dallas, and so we present the Nachodyssey. Here we will document the nachos we love -- the curious, the outlandish and above all the delicious. So, sing to us, O Cheese.

See also: The best mac and cheese in Dallas.

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foodbitch

Lemley's Tomatoes salad at Boulevardier

Like I said back in January, I like to experiment with healthy eating every once in a while. And when I do, I love to stumble upon a salad that makes me go mmmm. In honor of Salad Month (or is it BBQ Month?), here is a list of salads to try next time you get a hankerin' for health.

SEE ALSO: 13 Dallas Spots for Healthy Foods That Don't Suck

1. Lemley's Tomatoes salad at Boulevardier (above)
This stunner combines Lemley's tomatoes, burrata, arugula, pistou, balsamic, olive oil, sel gris and grilled baguette. I think the magic is in the pistou, but I'll let you decide.

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You know brutal heat is coming, so don't dally on your way to the patio at the new Il Cane Rosso near White Rock Lake

It's Monday, start of a new week. Time to bring home the bacon, climb ladders and all that good stuff. Thinking about it just makes us plot when and where we'll be able to decompress. Here are a few new(ish) places to add to your regular rotation. Or if you need a rotation, here's a good place to start.

The new Il Cane Rosso near White Rock Lake is open, and the patio is a looker. Have Burns pour you a house-made cocktail. Who even cares about the pizza anymore? That was so 2012. This patio needs breaking in.

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If you're a human with a computer or maybe just a smartphone or maybe just a head with a brain inside of it, you are likely privy to the Defense of Marriage Act and the Supreme Court hearings this week. Or maybe you changed your profile picture because UGH, SUPREME COURT.

It started with this, the Human Rights Campaign's official symbol:

It probably looks familiar, as I'm assuming much of your Facebook feed went red a couple of days ago. Political debate aside, the Internet has a magical habit of taking things (serious and not serious) and making them HI-FUCKING-LARIOUS. And cats. Although the foundation of this entire movement has a very serious undertone, there's always room for Corgi puppies and bacon.

Because much of my daily life requires constant Internet connectivity, I have noticed a rapid growth of spinoffs on the now famous symbol, some of which feature delicious depictions of parallel food. Yes, Yoda and Grumpy Cat are also fabulous derivatives of the Marriage Equality symbol, but this is a food blog for the LOVE OF TARDAR.

Here are the 10 best food-related variations from around Google the WORLD.

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Jack's Southern Comfort Food

Dallas certainly knows it's way around a brunch. What use to be an occasion-driven affair, has taken on the role of a more casual, sobering three-hour revival. With Dallas' always-expanding restaurant population, here are some new spots you should consider.

Jack's Southern Comfort Food
There's one (really important) key word about the menu here: biscuits. Lots of 'em. This charismatic spot brings a touch of upscale, down-home country fare with Cajun touches to lower Greenville. The "Pigs in a Pashmina" come with apple smoked beef sausage snuggled in a puff pastry with pepper jack, cheddar cheese and jalapeños, served with a strawberry jalapeño mustard and Jack's breakfast potatoes. And Jimmy's sausage gravy open-faced biscuit will surely quell whatever ails you.

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fish and chips at the Londoner

As we're well into the Lenten season, I'm sure many of you are looking for a Friday fish hook up. I'm not positive why Catholics adhere to a pescatarian diet on Fridays, and after a quick search, there's certainly a lot of bickering about it. But, it really doesn't matter anyway because eating seafood doesn't need religious validation. At all.

So, we've cast a wide net, filtered through the muck and have some of the best spots in Dallas for fish and chips.

Strictly for entertainment proposes, I surveyed our resident bloke, Gavin Cleaver, on proper fish and chips in Dallas and he wanted to go on record as saying, "... selling fish and chips expertly cooked at a price point above $5 is to totally misunderstand the nature of British fish and chips."

So, with that, we'll carry on with a list of this misunderstood British fare.

Many British and Irish-inspired spots push out baskets of fish and chips all day (The Old Monk, Trinity Hall, The Idle Rich, etc). But, of those, Observer food critic Scott Reitz fancies the fish and chips at The Londoner and listed the dish (photo above) as one of his 100 Favorite Dishes in the city: "The Londoner's version sports a thick, crispy crust that's not too oily, which encases dense cod that breaks apart into massive, meaty flakes. Chips play more than a supporting role with a generous portion of potatoes cooked just right."

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The Free Man Muffaletta

The Free Man Cajun Café in Deep Ellum is a small, dark, shotgun bar and restaurant with marginal lighting that keeps things dim, which is certainly a prerequisite for any proper New Orleans-ish bar. So, if you're going for a truly comparable experience, this is your place. Three Quarters Fast Jazz Band (Dixieland style) will hit the stage at 7 p.m. and general merriment with a voodoo edge will be hanging around. Try the voodoo chicken sandwich or muffaletta.

Sundown at Granada is never one to miss an opportunity to throw a party. Chef Patrick Stark will have a special menu of jambalaya with sausage, chicken and shrimp; a Fat Tuesday burger with Cajun shrimp and pepper Jack cheese; po' boy wraps with sautéed Cajun shrimp baja slaw and avocado. Hurricanes are $2 all night or order a $7 Deer and Beer (lite beer with a Jager shot). A DJ starts at 5 p.m. p.m.

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Last year, I listed out the ten best food-based Super Bowl ads for you guys. And this year, while everybody else was eating at least a bajillion chicken wings, lamenting over all those poor chickens or tweeting about the "Blackout Bowl," I was diligently watching all the commercials once again. Let's see which of the food groups spent their 3.8-million-per-30-seconds wisely. My money's on empty calories and male curiosity.

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LDD

The brisket fried pie at Baker's Ribs in Deep Ellum

Yes, there's pie. Lots of really really good pie. But, we want to embrace National Pie Day for every flake of crust it's worth, including doing a little math, listening to great old Dean Martin songs and arguing about the metaphor of that tiger in Life of Pi.

In a culinary sense, however, we'd like to point you to the many places of interest in our fine city for pie. For dessert-like pies, there are places like Norma's, Emporium Pies, Mama's Daughters Diner, the Original Market Diner and Mecca.

In a robust sense, there are other types of pies you should be aware of and consider for National Pie Day.

1. The brisket fried pie (photo above) at the Original Fried Pie Shop, which is insideBaker's Ribs, is pie insanity. It tastes like gluttony and later, as it soaks into your blood stream, feels like shame. Go ahead though. Today is special.

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Lori Brandi

Chicken-fried steak at Ellen's Southern Kitchen

Now that they have their checkbooks all sorted out, the boys are back in town and on Saturday night the Stars face off against the Edmonton Oilers. Or someone. I actually have no idea. When they traded Shane Churla, I bowed out gracefully (although he is still with the organization).

Regardless, we thought it was a good time to revisit our pregame meal options around the American Airlines Center. Victory Park has a handful of restaurants, a few of them good. We've also pulled a few from the perimeter, plus some new spots around downtown that are worth an excursion.

Ellen's Southern Kitchen in the West End. Where, you say? The W-E-S-T E-N-D. Yes, it's still there. Logistically, parking twice would make me crazy, but you can take public transit. What's that, you say? P-U-B ... OK. I'll stop with all the "jokes." The DART green and orange lines run to the West End every 30 minutes. Scott Reitz recently reviewed Ellen's and had some nice things to say about the chicken-fried steak. Here's a very handy guide to DART downtown.

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