I Ate the Choomongous and I'm Still Alive Today

Gavin Cleaver
Yes, the picture is in portrait. No, I'm not very good.

Every year, the Rangers roll out a whole bunch of stuff designed specifically to clog your arteries. It's their public service, as a socially-minded ballclub, to cut down on the population explosion in DFW by culling those stupid enough to eat a two-foot sandwich.

I am one of those people. Yet somehow, I live. This is the story of my folly.

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The Top 10 Super Bowl Commercials Starring Food: 2013 Edition

Categories: Last Night, Lists


Last year, I listed out the ten best food-based Super Bowl ads for you guys. And this year, while everybody else was eating at least a bajillion chicken wings, lamenting over all those poor chickens or tweeting about the "Blackout Bowl," I was diligently watching all the commercials once again. Let's see which of the food groups spent their 3.8-million-per-30-seconds wisely. My money's on empty calories and male curiosity.

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Presenting: The Winners of Meat Fight 2012 (And Incredible Meat Photos)

Categories: Events, Last Night

012_Tray full of sausage by Cody Sharp. (McWhirter).jpg
Nicholas McWhirter
Cody Sharp's sausage
Sunday, at Sons of Hermann Hall, it was every carnivores' dream Meat Prom. Purple, sparkling pigs, each wearing tiny party hats, sat on top of tables and glittered gold letters on standing signs indicated where myriad animal parts would be served. This was the scene at Meat Fight.

In case you missed it, Meat Fight is the brainchild of Mike and Alice Laussade, and it began two years ago in their backyard. This year a dozen-or-so chefs, including Dallas' Brian C. Luscher, Jeana Johnson, Chad Houser, Jack Perkins, Tiffany Derry (and more), competed in a barbecue competition. Alongside their tender bits were beers from Deep Ellum's brewery, icy, craft popsicles from Pop Star (Arnold Palmer flavor, FTW), and bourbon from Knob Creek.

So, if you did miss the grand Meat Prom -- which was all for charity, by the way; over 20 grand was raised for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society -- then we have some meaty photos: The Incredible BBQ Meats of Meat Fight

And, below, you'll find the awards for the four categories: brisket, pulled pork, sausage, and "WTF" (pork belly).

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Late-Night Eats: The Four Meat Pizza At Nova

Categories: Last Night

Nova Four meat Pizza.jpg
On a Thursday evening, just past 10 p.m., Oak Cliff was sleepy. Yelp said Boulevardier was open till 11 but the staff said otherwise. Same went for Bolsa, which offered cocktails and beer but no food. That's what I get for trusting a third-party source instead of getting operating hours direct from the source. Thankfully, just down Davis Street, past Cesar's 24-hours lengua tacos with the taste buds intact, Nova was wide awake.

See Also:
Charlie Papaceno Runs a Damn Fine Bar.
I Finally Had Lakewood Landing's Midnight Corn Dog, and It Sucked

The gastro pub billing doesn't quite fit here; the feel is more 1950s lounge than English basement bar. But the food is decent and the kitchen's open till midnight. The weather was perfect and the patio was filled with customers holding beer bottles in one hand and cigarettes in the other. Inside the bar was full, save two stools.

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Good Service, Bad Service: WTF is Up With the Bar Troll at S4?

Categories: Last Night

This is the glory that awaits if you can avoid paying the troll toll at S4.
Normally, I sing Station 4's praises to the high heavens. It's not a place I frequent all that often, but now and again everyone could benefit from the catharsis of a night spent jumping awkwardly in place to Ke$ha with a sloshing plastic cup of nondescript vodka substance. But on Saturday night we hit the Round-Up (I tip my stetson, fellas) and then Station 4 where a bartender twice spat unprovoked hateful shit at me before twice turning his back, walking away and refusing to serve me.

My offense? I merely inquired about a drink that he found too unsophisticated for his lofty skill-set. (Didn't even order it; just asked a question.)

Now don't get me wrong. If offered the choice, I probably wouldn't eschew a glass of Macallan 50 for a shot of Apple Pucker or Hot Damn. But I wasn't at the S4 to swill fine spirits on an oxblood red leather sofa while pursuing the Wall Street Journal in my smoking jacket. The nasty attitude is an embarrassment to the profession that this particular bartender claimed to take so seriously. And, in general, it's not cool to treat others -- paying customers, or otherwise -- with senseless derision.

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Your Memorial Day Weekend Food Porn

Brad from Greenville, Texas sent in this ribeye steak, done Big Green Egg style
Last week, we asked you to send in your Memorial Day Weekend food dishes. Holy lime-infused guacamole people!: you delivered. From gorgeous steaks to fancy tacos, Dallasites (and beyond) ate well this weekend.

We have a slide show showing off the full-round of shots, and below you'll find a few shots that made us perma-hungry. Nice work and thanks, everyone. Let's do this again, yes?

Have some excellent food porn from the weekend? Email me your photos along with what the food is, your first name and where you live -- we'll add them to the slide show.

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Taste Addison 2012: The Food Porn

All photos by Jay Barker
Oh Snuffer's cheese fries, where would we be without you?
One of the many events the weekend was Taste Addison. The fest, which celebrated its 20th birthday, served up bites from sixty-plus restaurants in the metroplex.

Rhett Miller and his Hair was on hand, but photographer Jay Barker just grabbed a whole beef-truck full of food porn.


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Last Night: The Dallas Observer's Iron Fork at the Fashion Industry Gallery

Categories: Events, Last Night

Jay Barker
Scott Romano (left) took home the giant skillet.
Last night brought the Observer's annual celebration of station-to-station face-stuffing, a tasting event and cooking competition that packed downtown's sleek Fashion Industry Gallery and packed on a few pounds as well.

The highlight of the night, not counting the three Tiff's Treats I stuffed in my pocket on the way out, was the cook-off, which pitted Whiskey Cake's TJ Lengnick against veteran chef Scott Romano. Romano took home the prize, as you can see above; find out how, and see more, in Jay Barker's slideshow.

Our own Cheap Bastard, Alice Laussade, judged the event and will be along shortly with her take on the proceedings.

Savor Dallas: Winning Dishes, Awkward Plates and a Whole Lot of People-Watching

Categories: Events, Last Night

Savor Plastic Plate.JPG
Jay Barker
A woman holds the plate in question.
Savor went off smoothly this weekend. The International Grand Tasting, hosted at the Irving Convention Center, did not sell out but felt very near capacity by 8 p.m.. You can check out the food and the people-watching in our slideshow.

Folks in the know ate quickly and spilled out onto the patio to drink wine and listen to live music. Inside, people bumped elbows and jockeyed for positions to be served at tables handing out everything from pepper jelly on crackers and kulfi pops to mushroom meatballs and a chilled spring pea soup.

If you were there, you know the plate pictured above very well. The plastic artist's easel stamped with an American Airlines logo was my albatross for the first fifteen minutes of the evening. The large disk had a spot for everything: a notch for your wine glass, a couple of holes to hold your utensils, a big trough to hold food in the center and a handle to give the user a firm grip.

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Hid In 2612: A Pop-Up Bar That's Hidden, Sure, But Not Quite Worth Seeking

"This right here is the epitome of a hipster palace," my boyfriend so eloquently put it. We had just stepped through the front doors of Hid In 2612, a blink-and-you'll-miss-it pop-up bar located at 2612 Commerce in Deep Ellum for just four nights. The brainchild of bartenders -- excuse me, mixologists -- Michael Martensen and Brian McCullough of Cedars Social and Smoke, respectively, the bar temporarily occupies the space soon to become an extension of Cane Rosso's dining room, part of their expansion plan to accommodate the inevitable flux of new guests once their appearance on Food Network's Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives airs.

The rustic, loft-like, 1,400-square-foot space was divided into several smaller themed areas. To our left: a small wooden deck covered with decals of black ants and lawn chairs, with bright white light streaming up from underneath the planks, like a backyard Fourth of July party on the moon.

To our right: another small sitting area, the walls covered with vintage photos of women in Mad Men-era hairstyles, interspersed with Warhol pop-art bananas and Campbell's soup cans.

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