Dallas Food Blog

dominos.com/Patrick Michels

My Domino's order: even hotter in real life. But online, the pizza was less like a greasy sponge.

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Dominos.com
delivered from 4420 Gaston Ave.

Promised delivery time (implied): 30 minutes
Actual delivery time: 27 minutes

Scoring summary:
Money saved by online coupon (dollars): 1.11
Time wasted tinkering with interactive pizza order system (minutes): 15
Big pizza for less than a little one (the way it should be): 30
Order accuracy: A perfect 10
Sauce sweeter than a 7-Eleven cabernet: 2.8
Brooklyn-style foldability: 18.1
Pizza goes limp as a wet noodle in under 10 minutes, guaranteed: -14
Still wondering if "Richard" took a bite of my pizza, or if he exists at all: 2
Post-meal satisfaction (a measure of cramping): 4.5

Total: 69.51

Top Ten
See complete 2009 standings here

Quality really wasn't the point. I'll save you the suspense: my pizza from Domino's was greasy and paper-thin with sauce like Kool-Aid. The "Brooklyn" style crust and wide slices did, as advertised, make for a perfect pizza fold, but went hilariously, unappetizingly limp after 10 minutes on my kitchen counter.

If I wanted great pizza, of course I knew better. But it was pouring down rain last night, and I'd been in my car most of the day. It was getting late and I was out of food. Food delivery was probably invented on a night like this. KFC delivery drivers in China seed rainclouds to make nights like this. (Not true.)

Last week, Danny's order from Papa John's drew a comment from Mike, who mentioned the online pizza tracker at Domino's. After checking out the site, I wondered: are the interactive pizza builder, social media extras and real-time order tracking enough to put lipstick on their processed pig parts? Do the flashy online extras make it worth ordering from Domino's?

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Papa John's Pizza
Denton (2 locations)

Promised delivery time: 30 minutes
Actual delivery time: 26 minutes

Scoring summary:
All important phone courtesy: 9.7
Speed of delivery: 9.9
Higher than college-town price: 7.3
Order accuracy: 6.9
Presentation: 6.8
Pizza quality: 7.2
Condiment quality (including use of good chemicals and additives): 2.5
Taste vs expectations: 7.9
Canine Crust Meter: 9.7
Post-meal satisfaction (a measure of cramping): 3.9

Total: 71.8

Top Ten
See complete 2009 standings here

After a frenzied Sunday afternoon spent hunting down new threads for a beach wedding, my fiancé and I returned to Denton hankering for a disc of Arrested Development and some appetizing pie. J&J's Pizza was our first choice, but after the twenty-fourth unanswered ring I got the hint.

Surprisingly, Denton has few locally owned restaurateurs willing to deliver, so we went corporate and ordered from Papa John's. Three rings later at 6:08 p.m., Brandon answered the phone. He plugged a two large, one topping pizza promo with a tonal swagger reminiscent of a struggling lounge singer.

I was tempted to ask him to sing a Sinatra ballad.

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.


Pizza Xpress
3355 Trinity Mills
972-307-6600

Promised delivery time: 35 minutes
Actual delivery time: 29 minutes

Scoring Summary:
Handily beating promised time, though by not enough to catch you off-guard: 6
Seemingly endless amount of food piled into your arms by driver: 65
Having to survive enhanced interrogation techniques in order to arrange delivery of endless food: -10
Styrofoam containers for several items: -10
Decent bread sticks (in cardboard container): 18
Beating expectations, however low they were set: 3

Total Score: 72

Top Ten
See complete 2009 standings here

"I'd like to place an order for delivery."

That's pretty much how I begin any phone order--a line so easy it almost guarantees an uneventful process.

"Your phone number?" the Pizza Xpress clerk asked. I gave it--several times, because he repeatedly transposed digits--and he followed with "have you ordered from us before?" Well, probably not, since my account doesn't pop up on your computer...which is strange, because Pizza Xpress operates with Chef Chu, where my name does appear when they type in the number.

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Qdoba Mexican Grill
6505 W. Park Blvd.,  Plano
972-403-7372

Promised Delivery: 60 minutes
Delivery Time: 45 minutes

Scoring Summary:
Finally having Mexican food delivered to my apartment: 40
No awkward phone pauses: 20
Getting three meals out of one: 13
Offering a variety of salsas: 10
Making me feel like a professional burrito eater: 5

Total: 88
(Qdoba ties for the 10th spot.)

Top Ten
See complete 2009 standings here

Every year people make New Year's resolutions to drop a few pounds, stop dating men who look like Kevin Federline and to take up a new hobby like extreme ironing.

Not me, I like to make my resolutions on my birthday. My own personal new year is the anniversary of the day I was born because it's starting another year of life for me. May not make a lot of sense, but that's just the way this brain of mine works.

With my big day right around the corner, I needed to start thinking of what this year's resolutions would be. Of course, to lose weight is always number one. You know being a single girl and all, self esteem, blah blah blah. That means no more late night fast food runs and ordering enormous amounts of takeout that could feed everyone in my apartment complex. But with all this turning over a new leaf and greasy food talk, my appetite was starting to get the best of me, and my birthday wasn't for another week. I wasn't in the mood for the usual pizza or Chinese options. I needed to spice up my last meal of freedom before it was chicken, fish and greens for awhile.

Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

​Hunan Express
2025 Cedar Springs
214-754-4747

Promised Delivery Time: 30-45 minutes
Actual Delivery Time: 40 minutes

Scoring Summary:
Efficiency of delivery: 10
Delivery man's sunny disposition: 9
Absence of MSG: 9
Strangely expensive egg rolls: 2
Grease content in pan-fried chicken dumplings: 4
Veggie variety in the Hunan Delight: 7
Tofu consistency: 8
Heat level of the spicy brown sauce: 8
Overall flavor: 7
Array of sauces and condiments: 9

Total: 73

Top Ten
See complete 2009 standings here


My first concern was losing the delivery man.

The apartment complex I call home is a sort of Bermuda Triangle of earth tones and reserved parking spaces, a maze of identical hallways and gates whose sole purpose appears to be the capture of unsuspecting visitors.

localism.com

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Nara Pizza & Oven
3716 Belt Line, Addison
972-488-3663

Promised delivery time: 40 minutes
Actual delivery time: 27 minutes

Scoring summary:
Beating--nay, crushing--the promised delivery time: 23
Five minutes spent in limbo on the phone as they figured out if I was worthy of a delivery run: -8
Sense of uncertainty about delivery that lingered until knock on door: -5
Not knowing just who was making/delivering pizza: -3
All-American symbolism from a place named in Arabic: 50
Not as bad as expected pizza: 25

Total score: 82
(Nara fails to crack the Top 10--but doesn't fare badly)

Top Ten
See complete 2009 standings here

One of the reasons I can't stand most Oliver Stone films is his heavy-handed symbolism. You know, dancing Indians, flickering 1960s football crowd intrusions--I'm just not a fan of the obvious.

Maybe that's why the idea of a pie called the "American," which can be compared to a "supreme" pizza, from a place named after the Arabic word for "fire" is so amusing. What is Nara trying to say be labeling their supreme the American? Nothing obvious about it. Maybe nothing to it at all, since I ordered from a Farnatchi menu.

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Pluckers
5500 Greenville Ave.
(214) 363-9464

Promised Delivery Time: 60-75 minutes
Actual Delivery Time: 80 minutes

Scoring Summary:
Entire order arriving with appropriate sides, sauces, and condiments: 20
Friendly employees with money saving recommendations: 35
The literally named Fire in the Hole wings: 5
Five minutes late on game night: 0
Fried goodness that doesn't cost ten tickets: 30
Baby food burger topping: -20
Ranch liquid to go with that baby food topping: -15
Blue cheese sauce with actual bits of blue cheese: 20

Total Score: 87
(Pluckers is not plucky enough to crack the Top Ten)

Top Ten
See complete 2009 standings here

Maybe it's because of football season or the state fair, but I've been craving greasy food lately.

Who am I kidding? I regularly crave corn dogs and alligator on a stick. Alas, I still haven't paid a visit to the fair, and frozen corn dogs can only curb my addiction for so long. My yearning has only intensified since learning of the new fried concoctions at the fair. Everyone's been talking about the fried butter...but I'm giving my arteries a rest after my recent Pluckers feast.

When my friends and I decided to order Pluckers during Monday Night Football, I hoped our old college favorite would deliver before the fourth quarter. Dallas was playing Carolina, and we expected the wait for any delivery to be fairly long on a rainy game night.

​This time around we hit the likes of Wang's, New Big Wong and Piggie Pies. Under the circumstances, I think we showed remarkable restraint. It could have been the quarter we reverted to sophomoric dick jokes.

As it turned out, a couple of these inched their way into our big 10 pole...um, poll...of Dallas area delivery restaurants--although Izmir still rides the head of this bulging list.

For the most part, drivers beat their promised delivery times over the sweltering (and abnormally wet) months that make up the 3rd quarter--except when young Sarah Johnson placed an order. The eight non-Sarah deliveries over the period averaged 35.5 minutes, or 4 minutes early. Sarah's two orders, however, ran a total of 55 minutes long. In average terms, that's a staggering 27.5 additional minutes standing around, pacing and occasionally peering out the window, per order.

Fortunately Sarah is like a modern day Emily Dickinson. She doesn't mind sitting there, waiting.

Anyway, as the third quarter closes, we pause to view the highs, lows and averages of home delivery over the past three months:

Patrick Michels

Into the seventh circle with Dante's duck from Tuk Tuk

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Tuk Tuk Asian Cuisine
1520 Elm St., #115
214-749-1538

Promised delivery time: 30 minutes
Actual delivery time: 11 (!) minutes

The Score
Neighbor from the apartment upstairs brings food, and it's exactly what I want: 20
In an un-neighborly way, she still expects me to pay her for it: -15
Insanely fast delivery: 30
Food transportation, high degree of difficulty: 20
Spicy duck entree, in its good moments: 37
Spicy duck entree, in its moments of gristle, fat-chunk and goo: -30
Fried ice cream and rice, together at last: 20
Honest approach to their lack of curry: 9 

Total Score: 91

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here

After almost two months in an apartment downtown, it'll be hard to call this my "new place" much longer, but to look at the barren brown walls, you wouldn't know it. After a furious day of unpacking and putting things away, the framed posters and prints haven't moved from their stack against the wall under a window. The only thing on a wall here is a hand-drawn sign advertising "Tuk Tuk Rides... To Town," the only souvenir I'm glad to have picked up on the streets of Bangkok, and the inspiration for my latest delivery food choice, Tuk Tuk Asian Cuisine around the corner.

Something's wrong with this picture.

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Brother's Pizza
4151 Travis
214-219-5200

Promised delivery time: 50 minutes
Actual delivery time: 90 minutes

The Score
Actually experiencing a John Hughes movie moment in real life: 15
Experiencing a John Hughes movie moment that involves my dinner: -15
Short and to the point ordering process: 20
Not lying about delivering to my neighborhood: 35
Wrong food and buttery Caesar salad: -30
Refunding my card without hesitation : 10
Giving me something to bitch about: 2

Total Score: 37
(Brothers logs lowest score ever)

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here

Where do I begin? Do I start with my "Pretty in Pink" moment with Sol's Taco Lounge, or do I jump ahead to being stood up by Brothers Pizza and Pasta? It's pretty much all the same high school flashback, so lets go with the Andrew McCarty letdown.

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Mango Thai Cuisine
4448 Lovers Lane
214-265-9996

Promised delivery time: about 45 minutes
Actual delivery time: 48 minutes

Friendliness of the guy on the phone: 11
Ease of personalizing an entree: 25
Reading back my order to ensure accuracy: 9
Delivery dude's BMW: -5
Fact that the BMW unleashed heavenly aroma of Thai food I could smell at my door as soon as he opened his: 15
Crispiness of appetizers: 7
Super drippy, sticky to-go sodas: -6
Sodas being fountain, not bottled: 10
Number of bites I took of my entree: 4
Number of months we've been in this house (3.5) times number of times we've ordered Mango Thai (1) plus times we'll order again in the next month before we have to get out (4): 7.5

Total Score: 77.5

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here


We moved to the Lovers and Inwood area at the beginning of May. We've fallen in love with Lovers Pizza (as you can see above in the standings), but aside from Yumi To Go, hadn't found any Asian cuisine we were really digging on.

My boy and I both love Thai food, so a friend suggested Mango Thai just a few doors down from Kathleen's Sky Diner and Holy Ravioli on Lovers. Not feeling up to a date night, as we'd just found out we'd be needing to find another residence as our landlords were moving back unexpectedly for jobs here in Dallas, we decided to look for delivery instead. As luck would have it, they would bring our favorites right to our door.

Patrick Michels

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Panda's Restaurant & Bar
3917 Cedar Springs Rd
214-528-9999
214-528-3818
214-526-3333

Promised delivery time: 30-45 minutes
Actual delivery time: 28 minutes

Dialing options: 3
Early delivery: 10
Number of times name of my dish, "Subgun wonton," ran through my head the next day: 63
Baby corn so big, you might could just call it "corn": 7
Cents added to my final bill for "rounding": 3
Dollars my driver had been given in each of his previous tips that night, he complained: 2


Total Score: 88

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here


Since moving from East Dallas to downtown a month ago, I've been looking forward to a new world of delivery options, but each of the late nights that would've normally lent themselves to pizza by phone, I've opted instead to walk the couple blocks to 7-11 (another place where I have yet to try the pizza).

Settling in around 11 one night to edit photos after a late shoot, I was looking forward to trying out one of the local spots in the new neighborhood, but after flipping through the menus I've collected so far, realized it was already past delivery hours for all the places but one: Panda's, which wasn't even in the new 'hood, but was close enough (in the thick of Cedar Springs) they'd deliver.

Their menu is extensive, with a coupon for a free soup and egg roll, three phone numbers, and a cartoon panda wearing a bolo tie and holding a knife and fork. "99% MSG Free," the menu advertised, and I was sold.

There are other warnings they should issue, as well.

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Chicago Rick's
3628 Frankford
972-307-4257

Promised delivery time: 45 minutes
Actual delivery time: 43 minutes

Level of phone honesty that would have given Dick Cheney a heart attack: 50
Interest rate on loan necessary to buy a fully loaded pizza: 7.65
Having to take out loan to buy pizza: -21
One size only for Chicago style crust: -6
No-fuss delivery: 27
Better pizza than last time I ordered but nothing at all like the picture: 21

Total Score: 78.65
(Chicago Rick's failed to reach the top ten)

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here


Chicago, New York, Napoli...so long as it doesn't come from Domino's I'm happy with any style. They all can carry pepperoni, Italian sausage, Canadian bacon or other pizza essentials.

The important thing for me on a Saturday--or was it Sunday? I'm a little fuzzy on details--was Chicago Rick's "20 to Life" pie, a supposed monster packed with all those cured meats and more for a mere $13.99. Unless, that is, you order it Chicago style.

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Piggie Pies Pizzas & Pasta
5315 Greenville Suite 120 B
214-821-OINK

Promised delivery time: 45 minutes
Actual delivery time: 35 minutes

Scoring Summary
The promise of a big floppy slice of "New York Style" Pizza: 20
The no-nonsense ordering process, prompt and succinct: 20
Some of, if not THE largest pizza size options (up to 20"): 25
No extra goodies (like cheese or pepper): -10
Cheap house salads to help ease the guilt: 15
Cheap house salads that are actually fresh: 15
Quite the selection of "gourmet" pizzas with fancy toppings: 20
Not exactly "good & cheap" prices: -10
The sudden total lack of knowledge of what a normal slice of pizza is: -15
Being ten minutes early (1 point per minute): 10

Total score: 90
(Piggie Pies dumps Addison's Oriental Lite from the top ten.)

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here
 

Oh Piggie Pies, how you tempt me so, being only about 2 blocks away from my homestead, catering to the residents of the greater Lovers & Greenville neighborhood, it's almost mandatory to have such an establishment offering delicious greasy New York style pizza to such a concentration of college students and yuppies and the like.

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Oak Cliff Pizza & Pasta
1315 W. Davis St.
214-941-8080

Promised delivery time: 50 minutes
Actual delivery time: 56 minutes

Scoring Summary

Ease of telephone communication: 20
No delivery charge: 10
No parm or red pepper: -10
Delivering to our neighborhood at all: 20
Being far superior to Little Caesars or this joint: 25
Also being pricier than the two aforementioned competitors: -10
Stellar example of New York-style floppy crust: 30
Sweet and super-garlicky homemade sauce: 30
Great topping selection: 10
Best sausage I've ever had on a pizza: 10
Toppings stuck to crushed box lid: -30
And it's not like they were overly generous with the toppings to begin with, even though they weren't cheap: -20
Tardiness, 1 point per minute: -6

Total score: 79
(Outstanding food, but thanks to easily avoided mistakes, Oak Cliff Pizza fails to crack the Top 10)

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here

I think Oak Cliff Pizza might just be my favorite pizza joint in town, thanks to the sliced Italian sausage and roasted peppers available as toppings. And the fact that the place delivers at all to our house, which is pretty far south of its North Oak Cliff location, really makes me want to root for them. But thanks to a major delivery FAIL a few weeks back, I've been hesitant to have it delivered again.

​Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Pizzarella
2155 Marsh Lane, Carrollton
972-416-3333

Promised delivery time: 40 minutes
Actual delivery time: 40 minutes

Phone order doubling as identity/data-mining center: -12
Ridiculous cheese-related boasting: -6
Prompt delivery: 10
Prompt delivery on a Friday evening: 25
Un-pitted olives in salad: 14
Calling potato wedges "wedgies": 10
Driver with a cartoon moustache: 12
Aluminum foil to keep things warm: 8
'Bout the same price (and quality) as a grocery store: 6

Total Score: 67
(Pizzarella fails to grab a Top 10 berth)

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here

The "how are you going to pay" portion of any delivery order generally means you're about to read precious credit card numbers to some teenage clerk of dubious integrity--and those working at Pizzarella want all your numbers. That's right: card number, expiration date, three-digit security code, billing zip code...if she had asked for my social security number I might have become suspicious.

On the other hand, I figure whoever nabs my information will be forced to make some drastic decisions: how to pay off all that acquired debt, the best way to repair newly damaged credit--that sort of thing.

Patrick Michels

"Using the moon's gravity, we'll slingshot you back to rendezvous with the dumpling here."

Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

New Big Wong
2121 Greenville Ave
214-821-4198

Promised delivery time: 30 minutes
Actual delivery time: 23 minutes

Scoring Summary:
Food arrived on time, and even minutes early: 27
Years in business, according to the guy on the phone: 20
Years between Apollo 11's moon landing and New Big Wong's opening: 20
Included two plastic forks, not the chopsticks they'd promised: -5
Separate cup for sweet and sour sauce: 10
Sauce packets (soy, duck and hoisin): 10
Big portions, and enough leftovers to share... with all mankind: 30

Total: 92
(New Big Wong muscles i Fratelli Pizza out of the top ten.)

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here

Forty years ago today, people around the world gathered in their living rooms to celebrate man's first steps on the moon. It took nearly a decade, vast sums of money and teams of overworked engineers to make good on the promise of Kennedy's "We choose to go to the moon" speech.

Last night, in observance of the milestone, I chose to go nowhere at all, and it took just 23 minutes before I had all the Chinese delivery food I'd need to fuel a late-night geek-out with two of the finest astronaut movies ever made.

Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Wang's Chinese Café
6033 Luther Lane
214-265-1688

Promised delivery time: 45 minutes
Actual delivery time: 60 minutes

Scoring Summary:
Having all my info on file for an easy phone transaction: 15
Providing entertainment ( in other words, providing endless "wang" jokes for my roommate and me to come up with while we waited): 40
Having my stomach ask me where the food was in an angry Mr. T voice: -15
Jumbo wontons: 10
Finally getting a fortune cookie: 20

Total: 70
(Wang's fails to dent the coveted Top Ten.)

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here

Around 3:30 p.m. on a busy Wednesday afternoon, after having a meltdown at my desk [editor's note: caused, most assuredly, by Wilonsky and not by any City of Ate demands], I realized there was no way I was cooking dinner tonight.

My impatience with [name deleted, but let's assume it was Wilonsky] gave me the perfect opportunity to practice one of my secret shame rituals...ordering enough Chinese food to feed the Swiss Guard (times are tough, I can't afford to feed the Russian Army--and I don't even know if they like Chinese food). The second I got home I started digging through our junk/delivery menu drawer until I found the winner. Congratulations Wang's Chinese Café.

Yes, the name of the restaurant is actually Wang's. And, yes, I hoped some Wang's would make me a happy girl.

At the end of March it looked as if Quesa-D-Ya's and its 94 points would stay on top all year long. Then, two weeks into this quarter, a City of Ate staffer ordered from Izmir Market.

Bye-bye, Quesa-D-Ya's. At least until the playoffs.

For the most part, May-June proved to be strong months. Besides Izmir's near perfect 98, Bangkok City racked up 95 points, also squeezing past D-Ya's, while Lover's Pizza and Philly Connection filed into the top ten with scores in the low 90s...overshadowing nice efforts by Oriental Lite and Tony's Pizza. On the other hand, there was that pathetic outing by Rocco's...

Anyway, as the second quarter closes, we pause to the highs, lows and averages of home delivery over the past three months.

Top Ten


See complete 2009 standings here


Shortest promised delivery time: Rocco's Uptown, 30 minutes
   1st Quarter: Spiatzas Pizzeria, 25 minutes
Longest promised delivery time: Bangkok City, 60 minutes
   1st Quarter: L.A. Gourmet, 75 minutes
Shortest actual delivery time: Amica's Pizza & Pasta, 29 minutes
   1st Quarter: Quesa-D-Ya's, 29 minutes
Longest actual delivery time: Rocco's Uptown, 60 minutes
   1st Quarter: L.A. Gourmet, 89 minutes

Best delivery performance: Tony's Pizza & Pasta, beating promised time by 17 minutes
   1st Quarter: Nandina Asian Tapas, 15 minutes
Worst delivery performance: Rocco's Uptown, late by 30 minutes
   1st Quarter: Zini's Pizzeria, 27 minutes

This quarter we waited 7 hours and 41 minutes for home delivery, all told.

Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Oriental Lite Restaurant
14925 Midway, Addison
972-788-2288

Promised delivery time: 45 minutes
Actual delivery time: 31 minutes

Scoring:
Quick and easy ordering: 6
Surprisingly extensive delivery area: 12
Beating promised delivery time by 14 minutes in spite of delivery area: 9
Deduction for damaged probably caused by driver hurtling through the Midway-Beltline intersection: -8
The fact that the same guy who took order (and probably owns the place) hurtled through intersection: 19
Menu that includes Japanese and Chinese items: 10
Better than supermarket sushi: 10
True to name 'lite' dishes: 28

Total Score: 86
(Bumps Tony's Pizza & Pasta from Top Ten)

Top Ten


See complete 2009 standings here


These guys don't mind flooring the peddle and careening hell-bent through suburban traffic--but you'd never know it from their demeanor.

On the phone, they come across as efficient automatons, promptly jotting your order, confirming your address and asking repeat customers if they want it on card number '1234' before you even get a chance to bring up payment. Then there's a 'that'll be $20.14. Be there in 45 minutes.' Click. The entire transaction takes less than a minute.

Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

Amico's Pizza & Pasta
4032 Cedar Springs
214-520-1331

Promised delivery time: None stated, and I didn't think to ask.
Actual delivery time: 29:35

Phone friendliness: 20
Not stating order total or ETA on phone: -15
Delivery time well under my assumption of 45 minutes during lunch hour: 15
French fries actually crispy and hot on arrival, to my wonder and amazement: 20
Meatball sandwich lived up to manager's enthusiastic recommendation: 20
Satisfactory chicken parmigiana and meatball sandwiches: 20
Pizza failed to impress this guy: -10
Pathetic chicken fettuccine alfredo: -10
Friendly and talkative delivery driver: 10
Perhaps too friendly and talkative: -4

Total score: 66
(Amico's fails to dent--or even approach--a top ten ranking)

Top Ten


See complete 2009 standings here


Perhaps the greatest strength of Amico's is also its greatest weakness: menu diversity. I don't know of anywhere else from which you can order crab claws, wings, a veal parmigiana sandwich with fries, a platter of lasagna and--oh, yeah--pizza.

But by offering so many menu items, it seems that some of the dishes we ordered for lunch here at City of Ate HQ didn't get the attention they need.

Patrick Michels

Here's a hot cooking tip for summer! Don't put Styrofoam in the microwave. Use the grill instead...

Texan SteakOn a Saturday afternoon as beautiful as last weekend's, I often find myself torn between two opposing forces: the allure of the grill, stoked by the smoke and barbecue smells from around the neighborhood, and the siren call of the afternoon nap.

Lounging around my backyard, idly watching smoke rise from my neighbors' yard, I couldn't be sure whether they had already fired up the Weber, or were in the midst of some exacting bee-keeping task. (Anyone who wears a bee suit out in public has got to know their stuff, but since I moved here I've imagined every possible way their supposedly docile honeybees might escape, zero in on some gap in my roof, and make me their Macaulay in a slo-motion onslaught of stingers. Where's my puffer?)

I woke up from the usual nightmare realizing I'd been out for hours on the backyard bench, with the neighborhood now smelling like one big grill pit--all meat, smoke and hickory. Two realizations hit me: now that it was well into late afternoon, there was no way I'd be grilling tonight; and I really had spent the last few hours being eaten alive, but by mosquitoes, not bees.

With my heart set on a cookout and my legs covered in welts, there was one thing left to do: head inside and dial for steak.

Lover's Pizza and Pasta

Duck curry

Bangkok City
4503 Greenville Ave.
214-691-8233

Promised delivery time: 45-60 minutes
Actual delivery time: 59 minutes

Having to call 3 times before someone actually picked up the phone: -20
Finally getting someone to answer, and very politely take my order: 15
Double-checking my long order, and making sure the portions I wanted were in fact what I wanted (when it came to either a single soup bowl vs. the larger family size, etc): 15
Two words: Free Delivery: 20
Food arriving just under the buzzer: 15
All the food being packed perfectly, and conscientiously, for what could be difficult to transport (soups, sauces, etc): 15
Not getting a recommendation of a seasonal or new dish like usual: -5
Same portions as you would get dining in: 15
Said portions still steaming hot upon arrival: 15
Having leftovers for the following day that keep well in the same containers they came in: 10

Total score: 95

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here

There's a city within Dallas that's known for its peculiar setting, its proximity to SMU, its propensity for having unique ways and tastes that are different from the norm.

Not talking about Highland Park, no. But you're close. In fact, I live pretty close to this delicious hideaway myself, and try to visit as much as possible, unlike your first guess.

I didn't take a picture of our NY Pizza deliveryman, but can tell you that he looked pretty much like the opposite of this person.

NY Pizza
3917 W. Camp Wisdom Rd., #103
972-298-4700

Promised delivery time: 40 minutes
Actual delivery time: 37 minutes

Ease of telecommunication: 20
No delivery charge: 10
Not being Pizza Hut: 10
Steaming-hot pizza and cold-enough soda: 10
No parmesan or red-pepper packets offered--despite overly generous $5 tip from my wife who, because of her own food-service job [part-time, at that!], feels obliged to give outlandish gratuities no matter how undeserved: -10
Driver old enough to prompt this dilemma: -3
Delivering to our neighborhood at all: 20

Total score: 57
(Fails to reach--or even approach withing spitting distance of--top ten)

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here

Don't get me wrong. I love Oak Cliff. But when it comes to delivery, my part of town leaves a lot to be desired. Some nights, morally weakened by hunger and fatigue, I catch myself harboring lustful fantasies about what it would be like to live somewhere else.

Tony's Pizza & Pasta
18918 Midway
972-267-9180

Promised delivery time: 50 minutes
Actual delivery time: 33 minutes


Scoring Summary:
Real Italian accent on other end of line: 15
Knocking 17 minutes ahead of schedule: 17
Chance that arriving that far ahead of schedule can interfere just a bit: -5
Simpson's-fast-food-clerk voice from Clark Kent look-alike delivery guy: 0
Awkward chatter from young Clark that included the word "magic:" -4
Box lid crushing edge of pizza: -6
Pretty decent pizza, nonetheless: 66

Total Score: 83
(Tony's bumps Panda Delite from the Top Ten)

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here

We're conditioned by the likes of Domino's and Little Caesar's not to expect much from pizza, other than some necessary alcohol absorption during an afternoon well-spent in front of the TV. In fact, some develop a severe dependency of such chains during college, one that's difficult to shake. And so, we learn to accept pale, chewy, hastily baked dough and cheese flavored toppings.

The one-page slick someone from Tony's stuck in my door promised a pie only slightly more distinguished. I mean, they offered feta but misspelled the word. One could easily assume "fetta" is similar to "krab," right?

Philly Connection
6334 Gaston Ave., Dallas
214-828-9070
Free delivery with $12 order: 12
Patience on the phone while I rummaged for credit card: 19
Greasy, but not too greasy: 19
Cheesesteaks I could totally still eat in one sitting, and I'll fight the man who says otherwise: 5

Total score: 90

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here
When I saw that ESPN's Sunday night game would feature the great Cardinals-Cubs rivalry, it took me right back to my college days in Chicago and perfect spring afternoons when we'd skip class and ride the El down for a Wrigley Field double-header.

[Editor's note: The only perfect afternoon at Wrigley is when the Redbirds sweep.]

That's when I first fell in love with competitive eating too: I won my contest in the frat quads, eating five Philly cheesesteaks in a 10-minute contest run by a suburban sandwich shop. When I received my fifty bucks from the sandwich shop owner (who, in a rare turn for men of his profession, was a faintly sleazy smooth-operator type with a thick goatee and a heavy East Coast accent), I was hooked on the sport. For the next year, the shop even sold a sandwich topped with sweet peppers and mushrooms called the "Pat Michels."

As the eating career goes, it's been pretty much downhill since then.

Izmir Market & Mediterranean Deli
See complete 2009 standings here

Order Doritos and end up with this.

Rocco's Uptown
2916 McKinney
Dallas, TX 75204
(214)871-9207

Promised delivery time: 30 minutes
Actual delivery time: 60 minutes

Ordering online and not worrying if you will be put on hold listening to Kenny G : 20
Singing along with the website's Italian music while I ordered : 30
Comment box remembering to cut my onions: 25
Comment box forgetting my ranch: -3
30 minutes over the website's promised delivery time : -12
Having the 'ol switcharoo pulled on me with my chips: -5

Total: 55

Overall Standings

Chef House 79
Panda Delite 78
Dallas Gourmet Grill 71
Rocco's Uptown 55
Skillman Wok/Border Express 54
Zini's Pizzeria 51
LA Gourmet Pizza 47

We're about ten years into the era when technology and food delivery began to merge, and no, I don't mean having robots deliver your large pepperoni pizza to your house in a Prius. We have another ten years before we reach that point. I mean ordering food online, thereby cutting out middle man on the phone.

You know, cutting out that pesky moment of human contact.

I had a long day at work, and didn't feel like making my famous pork and beans. I craved something easy and greasy, and my go-to guy for that is always Rocco's Uptown and their simple online ordering system.

Three months in and Quesa-D-Ya's looks like the restaurant to beat. They slipped past the early leader, Nandina Asian Tapas, the week of January 26 and have held on since, easily brushing off a few feeble challenges.

So as the first quarter closes, we pause to assess the highs, lows and averages of home delivery thus far...

Overall Standings

Chef House 79
Panda Delite 78
Dallas Gourmet Grill 71
Skillman Wok/Border Express 54
Zini's Pizzeria 51
LA Gourmet Pizza 47

Average promised delivery time: 45 minutes
Average actual delivery time: 45.08 minutes

Shortest promised delivery time: Spiatzas Pizzeria--25 minutes
Longest promised delivery time: LA Gourmet Pizza/DiningIn--75 minutes
Shortest actual delivery time: Quesa-D-Ya's--29 minutes
Longest actual delivery time: LA Gourmet Pizza/DiningIn--89 minutes

Best delivery performance: Nandina Asian Tapas, beating promised time by 15 minutes
Worst delivery performance: Zini's Pizzeria, late by 27 minutes

All in all, we've waited 541 minutes (a tick over 9 hours) for 12 home delivery orders.


Some highs and lows from our scoring summaries:
Best crust in the world (without actually trying all the crust in the world) (Scalini's): 50
It's pizza, and someone brings it to you (LA Gourmet Pizza): 39
Knieval-like daring-do of ordering Tex-Mex from a Chinese kitchen (Skillman Wok): 35
Free chips and salsa (Quesa-D-Ya's): 33
Fact that they deliver steaks (Dallas Gourmet Grill): 30
Lost delivery guy turns out to be a hippie look alike (Chef House): 30
Credit for delivering smallish portions and call it Asian tapas (Nandina): 24
Altering their flagship menu item's ingredients without question because my wife doesn't like bell-peppers and onions on her pizza (i Fratelli): 20
Nobody got food poisoning (Zini's): 20
Leaving out the fortune cookie (Chef House): -9
Ice-cold marinara dipping sauce that come with the breadsticks which cost $2.49 (i Fratelli): -10
Beef cooked to level orange choking threat (Dallas Gourmet Grill): -12
Delivering a pizza on foot without using a heat bag on a freezing day (Spiatzas): Priceless (or in this case: -20)
Minutes between first bite and onset of grease-induced coma (LA Gourmet Pizza): (minus) 35

The second quarter begins next Monday...