​Sunday is National Tequila Day, a "holiday" Dallasites can celebrate with extra exuberance as residents of the city that fucked up margaritas forever. Mariano Martinez birthed the margarita machine here, 40 years ago, after a frightening opening night nearly handed him his ass. Turns out his bartenders couldn't figure out how to make a three-ingredient drink consistently.

Stressed and hungry, Martinez walked into a 7-Eleven (presumably for a chili dog), saw the Slurpee machine, and the rest is hungover history. ABC's Nightline put together a feature that details the "invention" that turns out to be a soft-serve ice cream machine. A recipe boasting extra sugar helps the alcohol freeze into a slushy mess. It also helps you feel like shit in the morning.

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​This week, we had, I believe, three blackouts in Girl Drink Drunk Land. Some Aters saw six according to Twitter reports, and yet another Ater offered that her home temp dropped from 70 to 56 degrees during one of the blackouts in the OED.More »

​I've been totally jazzed about telling all you drinkers, girl and otherwise, about how bad ass Geeks Who Drink on Mondays at the Barley House is. It is just 2 weeks old, but it is outstanding.

Geeks Who Drink, for those who don't know, is an organized pub quiz for teams of up to six, spanning pop culture categories from foreign currency to two-hit wonders to dog breeds to whomever James Lipton might be creaming over during an intro to Inside the Actors Studio (and those are just from the last few weeks). There are several nights and locations in the metroplex, and my team had been playing regularly on Sundays at the Amsterdam Bar with quizmaster Tony, but with the heat and recurring schedule conflicts, we were stoked to check out Barley's Monday nights with George.

And things are certainly different. For one, it seems the Amsterdam crowd is one of the few in the vast Geeks Who Drink realm who actually keep their team names from week to week: Our team was typically Downtown Sasquatch (teen-geek points to those who can ID that without Google), and I gotta give a shout-out to Minoriteam and The Doctor and Her Companions. At Barley -- and grant it, we've only been there two weeks -- there's only one team (STEVE HOLT!) who've kept their name alive.

Second, there were lots more popped collars. But then we realized that last week was just the first week of school at SMU, so those collars will surely die down as A) guys have to do their own laundry and don't want to bother with starch, B) they get weary from hazing and C) everyone's indie/country beards (which they started growing after hearing the Avett Brothers) start chaffing against their collars and they decide that the former is the trend they're gonna stick with (in that case, you'll see them again at Barley, but after they form a band in their junior year).

But the biggest difference? No, not that we've actually won more than once. That's right, the inaugural week, our Lifetime Movie Ninjas copped a $50 bar tab and spent the shit out of it the second week under the moniker Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wife. We still had to pay $36 but had landed first place and thus $50 for the next week, meanwhile discovering an amazing drink in the process. Yes, Carey's Root Beer Float is the big draw for us now.



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​Last week was spent building tolerance: It was the annual week of the Dallas Observer Music Awards. The tolerance of which I speak really has nothing to do with music, but of crowds, heat and hooch.

Allow me to elaborate: The DOMAXXII (the 22nd year of the DOMAs) showcase took place down in fair Deep Ellum -- a neighborhood once thought by many to be lifeless, hopeless and scheduled for destruction in our lifetime. But, those aforementioned many were idiots, because on Saturday, July 17, Deep Ellum was alive and fucking kickin' it old school.

My cohorts and I felt like it was 10 or so years ago -- back when we'd have been down there any given night of the week provided a band was playing and drinks were to be had -- back when my tolerance of the alkie was far more robust.

We hit up the outdoor tent for Secret Machines. The sweating began but wasn't as bad as expected for the 107-degree day...yet. It would get worse as the night wore on, but I'm such a perfect flower you would never know, except because I had beads on my upper lip and other largely flattering side effects of sweating your balls off. We cooled off, first, with a VIP tent Bud Light in a cup. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I am some Very Important Person, by the way, but that's what my badge said and I'm not one to argue with free ingestibles.
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Just an iced tea here in Oak Cliff. Nuthin' to see here. Honest. I have no vodka in me.

​After a full-belly dinner at Smoke, girl drinker Marla and I headed off to meet other girl drinkers Sarah, Lindsey and Amy, and some other homies at the Kessler Theater. The Beaten Sea and The Naptime Shake were playing (full-disclosure: dude fooder Noah W. Bailey and my hubs-to-be are in the latter) some sweet harmony-laden folk/country tunes.

When we sidled up to the bar, I considered the mood of the music and wanted a little Southern comfort...but, um, no Southern Comfort. Know what I'm sayin'? You totally do.
I consulted with Marla as well as with the bartender, who looks like the love child of Alec Baldwin and Ricky Gervais (and I'm not exaggerating. He totally looks like Baldwin at profile, and told us that, face-on, he was getting a lot of Gervais comments lately after the funny Brit lost some paunch and became rather svelte). After the crazy-involved cocktail I had at Smoke, I wanted a nice stable vodka drink, but I was bored with the usual offerings.

"Jack Brent" -- or "Ralec Gerwin" as I like to think of him -- suggested I go with the Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka. Sounded like the Southern touch I was craving. It sounded good.

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Old Monk's Moscow Mule

​At a party recently, I was given a taste of one of the most refreshing vodka cocktails I've had in a great while.

Josh -- who wears a Canadian tuxedo with more style than anyone else I know, but that's not really important right now -- handed me his cup and said, "It's made with awesome. Trust me, just try it." Or something to that effect. It was hard to remember anything that happened before my first sip of his Moscow Mule.

I felt like an ass (ha!) for having never tried it before...much less for not just accidentally having made it in the past, since it's made with three of my favorite things.

At first taste I experienced a fizzy concoction of vodka, ginger beer and lime. Though simply prepared, it's far from simple when you feel that tickle in your nose and your thirst is sated instantaneously. That's nothing but quality flavor and serious efficiency, my friends.



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Andrea Grimes, my Skinny Pina Colada and the cast of Dallas Comedy House's Megaphone Show

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​I wouldn't classify my mother as a real big drinker. More like a rare drinker. She's never had a predilection for Pinot Grigio, and she doesn't require a cocktail during her nightly stories. On a special occasion, however, she definitely perks up to a good Bloody Mary...prolly like your mom.

On Mother's Day just two Sundays ago, we settled up to a nice table at the NorthPark Maggiano's Little Italy. Mother wanted "you know, normal Italian food" at a clean and efficient, centrally located eatery, and since my sister and I often commence with Sunday worshop (get it! Ha!) at the reputable Center, we scored a reservation at Maggiano's...at 11:30 a.m.

Seems a little early for heavy bites, but you know that saying about Mama...if she ain't happy, you're all screwed. So we waltzed into the place and sat down, ordering an appetizer (don't know what we were thinking there -- the entrees are as big as your head) and, naturally, Bloody Marys to go around.



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The Domino Fizz, from above.

​Lots of people equate lavender with soaps, sachets and lotions. And that's fair. So much of the reason lavender is even popular is due to its fragrance -- which is soft, fresh and somehow, purple.

But me, well, this Girl Drink Drunk likes my lavender like I like spiked ice tea and late-night Pocky: in my mouth.

Oh, yes, the herbaceous wonder is good for much in the culinary world --from smoothing out a marinade to amping up a shortbread cookie. It's also damn good at making a Tom Collins into something extra, extra, extra (yes, three times) special.

Neighborhood Services Tavern's general manager Jason Kosmas has the line on lavender love. During a recent conversation, he explained that he wanted to concoct something that would be perfect for Old Tom gin, which, is a sweeter gin than the usual varieties we get in blue bottles, and was until recently, unavailable in this country for around five whole decades. Kosmas decided on a traditional Tom Collins (the name actually comes from the gin brand) but wanted to add the lavender in for its aromatic qualities as well as its flavor.



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​Last installment, Girl Drink Drunk pal Jen and I were just starting our vacations (I use that term liberally as Jen wasn't really on a work vacation, but it was just so dang fun) with the Dallas International Film Festival. We'd been impressed with Multiple Sarcasms and a custom second-chance Director's Cut Martini...but then over the course of seeing 19 other movies in 10 days, we realized some of that amounted to opening night excitement.

Multiple Sarcasms was just fine, but it wasn't the best feature we'd see. And that first DCM--the one that was really syrupy and ick? -- well, it wasn't the worst drink we'd have either.

The best feature film, as far as I'm concerned anyway, was Luca Guadagnino's I Am Love starring one stunning Tilda Swinton. Now that's a girl I'd like to get a drink with. Preferably in Italy (where the film was shot). Tilda? Call me.

Best documentary? The one charting the journey of the Kashmere Stage Band's reunion, Thunder Soul. Most fun? And I think Jen would back me on this--Korean spaghetti western set in 1940s Manchuria, The Good, the Bad, the Weird. Most laughs? Texas indie Harmony and Me. Most thought provoking even days after watching it? The documentary that placed Dutch comics in North Korea for a "cultural exchange," Red Chapel. General awesomeness? The sweet and quirky Obselidia, the spiteful sibling rivalry of Lovers of Hate, and the crime family weirdness of Down Terrace. And there's more, but it's all too much to describe. Note of Lone Star pride: See all the Texas filmmakers for sure.

But what you want to know is what happened when I went to Studio Movie Grill by myself to see a thriller, right? Thought so.



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