file photo This Whole Foods is only a little bit the WORST.
In this era of hippy-dippy, gluten-free, all-natural organic food, going to Whole Foods is just a foregone conclusion. You, assuming you're lucky enough to not live in our city's vast food desert, are going to round up all those stupid reusable bags, hop in your Subaru, and head to the nearest for your fix of hulled hemp seed, fish oil, and sustainably sourced booger-wipes for the kids. In this bourgeois food world, Whole Foods is a status symbol -- if you have $46 to spend on a jar of magical honey, you're practically living the American dream.
And yet, we bitch. It's a time-honored tradition of urbanites, complaining about how these organically produced wonderlands aren't the perfect utopias that those hemp-wearing corporate overlords in charge promised us. Sometimes, you actually have to LOOK for a few seconds before locating the organically pressed olive oil. Ugh.
Here, the five Whole Foods stores that exist inside Dallas' city limits -- we know how picky y'all are about geographical accuracy -- ranked in order of how likely they are to make you want to go on a kale-boosted killing spree.More »