If You Really Love Your Mother, You Should Blow Off Mother's Day Brunch

Categories: Complaint Desk

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Mom deserves better than runny hollandaise and you know it.
Ah, Mother's Day -- the one day of the year that actually surpasses the restaurant dog and pony show that is Valentine's Day. According to the National Restaurant Association, it's the busiest restaurant day of the year. If you don't believe them just ask anyone you know who works in the industry if they have off this Sunday. Then watch their eyes roll.

My inbox is full of Mother's Day brunch deals from restaurants around town. As restaurants try to cater to more customers than they will have on any other day of the year, keeping up with quality of service is always more difficult. Restaurants don't have it easy, you know. So special holidays like these pressure them to pack in as many tables as possible, turn over tables as quickly as possible, and make up for the following Monday, which I'm willing to bet is one of the slowest days of the year for the industry.

Why would you subject your mother to this? I can't personally attest to the pains of childbirth, but I've heard much about them. (Hi, Mom!) The least you could do is fry your mother an egg in the morning. Maybe even make her a nice mimosa with fresh pressed juice and real Champagne. Mark Bittman at The New York Times has this complete guide to a Mother's Day dinner if you're feeling extra inspired, and if you're not a cook there are still other ways to impress Mom without picking up a spatula.

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The BBQ Posse Is not Impressed with Daniel Vaughn's New Book

Categories: Complaint Desk

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Have you read Daniel Vaughn's book, The Prophets of Smoked Meat? You probably have not. The first book released on Anthony Bourdain's Ecco imprint won't be available until May 14. Flimsy, black-and-white, pre-release copies known as galleys of the book went out to various media outlets in March, and reviews have slowly been trickling in.

See also:
The Prophets of Smoked Meat is Just a Few Months Away

For the most part, coverage of Vaughn's debut has been the positive sort of cheerleading that marks much pre-release coverage. Posts like the one published here on City of Ate gave potential readers a little taste of what to expect should they pick up a copy of the book but didn't delve in deep or offer any hard-hitting commentary.

Yesterday, though, a group blog called the Texas BBQ Posse published a more detailed piece on Vaughn's book, including some harsh criticism. "This book about food is most unappetizing," writes Gary Jacobson in the review he claims was painful for him to write. If it truly was painful, perhaps he should have been a little bit nicer about it.

Jacobson describes page after page of negative barbecue commentary that left the bitter taste of creosote in his mouth. He expected The Prophets of Smoked Meat "to be a celebration of great Texas barbecue because there is plenty to cheer, including an ongoing BBQ renaissance in both Austin and Dallas." Instead he describes a book so riddled with negativity he can barely stomach it.


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Hey Budwieser, This Is Not A Good Way To Sell More Beer

Categories: Complaint Desk

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Budweiser
Oh, Budweiser. It's come to this? News of your new bow-tie-shaped beer can certainly got a lot of people's attention, but I'm not sure it's the right kind -- the whole Internet is laughing at you. You had a good thing in that classic red, white and blue can, and your logo is an icon. But lately the marketers assigned with putting you in the hands of America's responsible young drinkers are starting to look absolutely desperate.

How is giving us .7 ounces less beer per can going to help us drink more of it? And how is using nearly twice the aluminum to make each can doing anything good for the environment? I understand that this new approach is an attempt to court a trendy new set of drinkers but there are much better ways to go about it.

Like this guy...

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Eater Asked Hypnotic Donuts to Invent a Burger. And There's no Doughnut on It. WHY?!?!

Categories: Complaint Desk

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Hypnotic Donuts made a burger. Forgot to add doughnuts. This saddens me.

So, Eater Dallas asked Hypnotic Donuts to invent a burger that they'd serve for Eater's Burger Week. Awesome. The photo above is a picture of the burger that Hypnotic invented. Here's a description of it, straight from Eater:

Hypnotic Donuts: The 'Minimum Wage' burger is a half-pound patty infused with fresh jalapeños and goat cheese on a housemade poppy seed-bacon bun; it's topped off with bacon, fried pickles, crumbled goat cheese, lettuce, tomato, and an avocado ranch spread. This fine specimen is available Monday through Thursday of this week.

OK, BUT WHERE IS THE DOUGHNUT, HYPNOTIC DONUTS?! Y U REINVENT WHEEL? Just get a burger patty, put a doughnut around it, and call it "Amuhricka." We would all rejoice. I am saddened by this missed opportunity.

Next time, please pretty please go Gourdough's Public House on it. Dallas needs a doughnut burger. Please make it so.

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Gourdough's Pub Facebook
Next time, do it this way. Doughnut as bun. Whatever you want in the middle. Win life.

Tomorrow is National Peach Cobbler Day for -- If You're a Big Dummy

Categories: Complaint Desk

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According to a questionable food holiday website, tomorrow is National Peach Cobbler Day. In Texas, America, this is a special occasion as the scent of peach cobbler is capable of taking most of us back to birthday parties around the pool (even if your birthday is in December) and barbecues every weekend. If you don't eat peach cobbler after conquering 2 pounds of barbecued meat, you're devoid of a soul. And probably arterial disease.

However, as celebrated a dessert as peach cobbler is, devoting a national food holiday to a fruit that isn't even in season for another eight weeks just plain silly. And un-Texan. Fredericksburg is not currently bursting with Hill Country peaches, limiting peach cobbler making to the frozen crap that tastes like bland slices of sadness.

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Raw Milk Bill Hung Up By Fuddy Duddies at the Texas Medical Association

Categories: Complaint Desk

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Flickr
Make you sick? Who, me?
Dig raw milk? Right now to indulge unpasteurized, unhomogenized milk from cows and goats that are raised on pasture-based farms (you know, the way we all used to do it) individuals have to drive out to the farm and purchase it directly. That may be a fun weekend drive if you've got a convertible and some really nice weather, but it's hardly sustainable if you're looking for a weekly raw milk fix.

See also:
- Raw Milk Bill Would Allow for Expanded Sales

LDD recently pointed to a bill introduced to the Texas Legislature that would change all that. Texas HB 46 would legalize the sale of raw dairy products by licensed farmers directly to consumers off-the-farm, including at farmers markets and private drop points. It might even spur the return of the neighborhood milk man -- lonely housewives everywhere, rejoice!


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Blogger Pays a Visit to Kraft and Kraft Don't Care

Categories: Complaint Desk

Last month we told you about Lisa Leake and Vani Hari, two bloggers who are taking Kraft to task because of the artificial dyes the company uses in its macaroni and cheese. When we published that post the two were looking for 20,000 signatures on a petition. Earlier this week, they demonstrated much more support.

See also:
- Mom Bloggers Attack Kraft Macaroni and Cheese

Hari delivered more than 270,000 petition signatures to Kraft's headquarters in the Chicago area demanding the company stop using the dyes associated with hyperactivity in children, migraines and asthma. Kraft's official response? A resounding meh.

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R.I.P. Scotch Whisky: Dewar's Has Gone the Way of Flavored Vodka

Categories: Complaint Desk

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Nooooooooooo!
This isn't good. A post on the Whiskey Advocate Blog marks the release of Dewar's Highlander Honey, a Dewar's scotch whisky infused with honey and filtered through oak cask wood.

See also:
- What The Fuck Happened To Vodka?

According to the blog, this is the first time scotch has been marketed in such a way. And while most of the article debates the merits of flavored scotch whisky within the context of classification rules set up by the Scotch Whisky Association, the real kicker comes at the end of the post.


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BuzzFeed Makes Worst List Ever. Hates Cookie Crisp? Have They No Soul?

Categories: Complaint Desk

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Flickr
Remember back when BuzzFeed was cool? Right before they published their article about the 16 Cereals That Should Be Obliterated at 11:22 a.m. on March 21? Right before that very minute, they were pretty funny on most days.

But, a dark scornful cloud has enveloped the space over BuzzFeed Central.

I get the pressure though. I understand how this happens. See, we live in a list-sicle media world, where there's a lot of pressure to come up with the top 10 best or worst (hyperbole is key) of anything. But, just like anything else, your work must have integrity, like, the list I did on the eight best fluffernutter sandwiches on national fluffernutter day. I meant it.


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No Worries People, Lays Potato Chips Are Healthy Now

Categories: Complaint Desk

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I don't feel so hot...
I just got a great news release. Not more than two weeks after The New York Times published a story on the science behind the junk food that's poisoning us, Lay's has announced a new line of potato chips with 50 percent less sodium and the same great taste.

See also:
- Snack Food Scientists Have Been on a Quest to Conquer Your Brain

The release offered to send me some chips for free, but I declined the offer. I was hungry that instant and decided to zip over to my local Kroger grocery store and get some myself. After I passed this aisle with a section devoted to entirely to diabetic friendly foods -- not that diabetes has anything to do with this blog post -- I was temporarily disappointed to find that the low-sodium chips were not yet available.


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