Ben & Jerry's Made a DFW Ice Cream

Categories: Complaint Desk

bandjDallas-flavors.jpg
Ben & Jerry's limited-batch Bourbon Pecan Pie ice cream.
Last summer, Ben & Jerry's announced it wanted to make some new ice cream flavors based on cities across the country. The notion filled our brains with po' boy flavored ice cream from New Orleans, and scoops of chocolate-laced chili heaped into cones in honor of Cincinnati.

See Also: If Dallas Were an Ice Cream, What Would it Taste Like?

When we asked what Dallas would taste like on our Facebook feed, though, things got even more strange. It seems we are a city without a unique culinary identity, and that led our readers to come up with some questionable flavors. What does Dallas taste like? Spray tans and silicone, according to one reader, and Botox, according to another.

More »

Sorry, Dallas, but Your Favorite Puffy Taco Is Not a Puffy Taco at All

Categories: Complaint Desk

Thumbnail image for Ojeda's Puffy Taco.jpg
You're worse than a fake Santa with a crappy beard at the shopping mall.
Despite a modest campaign to right puffy-taco wrongs, there remains a great rift in Dallas' puffy-taco universe. The issue centers around an impostor, a sham, a fraudulent taco promising supple puffiness that never makes its way to the plate. You'll find this taco at many Tex-Mex restaurants, including Ojeda's, which is pictured above, and most recently in Leslie Brenner's review of Raffa's, the Tex-Mex restaurant that's been busting up bellies on Lovers Lane for two decades now.

I'm not, in any way, trying to deny the deliciousness of what is paraded around town as a puffy taco. Any time you combine crispy, fried masa, seasoned ground beef, cool lettuce and tomato and few spoons of salsa, the results are going to be good. But they're not puffy tacos.

See Also: Tracking Down the Origin of Dallas' "Puffy" Tacos

More »

The 10 Biggest Sins of Dallas Diners, in Honor of Yom Kippur

Categories: Complaint Desk

YKsins_confessionalbooth.jpg
Wrong religion, right idea.
The somber Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur begins at sundown, extending until precisely 7:44 p.m. tomorrow. So while you all are stuffing your faces with festival barbecue, Oktoberfest beers, fried fair fare and pumpkin-flavored everything, I, and millions of other Jewish folk, will be consuming absolutely nothing. No food, no water, nothing. It's a very, VERY long day.

But in the spirit of having even more to atone for, I'd like to talk about your sins. Yes, you.

More »

Texas Department Of Agriculture Commissioner Disagrees That Kids Should Eat More Beans

Categories: Complaint Desk

eat-your-beans-1.png
An educational slide from the Texas Department of Agriculture's Square Meals program.
September has been a long one for Texas Agriculture Commissioner Todd Staples. At the month's start, Staples drew some heat for an op-ed he fat-fingered for the Austin American-Statesman. It denounced efforts to get school children to eat less meat and sparked an Internet backlash that preceded Staples' resignation from the Texas Department of Agriculture, which was announced yesterday morning.

Elementary schools in Dripping Springs, a suburb of Austin, had recently embraced Meatless Monday as part of their school lunch program. The movement encourages participants to give up meat on the first day of the workweek, in the hopes that the behavior will curb Monday meat consumption and also shape mealtime choices the rest of the week. The push towards flexitarianism is said to benefit the participant in terms of healthier choices, and also the environment, which suffers negative impacts from unfettered meat production.

More »

'Tis the Season for Dallas Restaurant Breast Cancer Fundraisers with Stupid, Sexist Names

Categories: Complaint Desk

5121570334_8496dc15d7_z.jpg
Lenny Pichette/Flickr
Oh, this will be rich.
In the coming weeks, you will start to see everything from the sleeve on your coffee cup to the jerseys your wife-beating running backs wear in the National Football League turn a Pepto-Bismol shade of pink. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

You'll also start to see restaurant promotions that benefit breast cancer charities. These promotions typically offer to donate a portion of your cash to a breast cancer charity of their choice, which in theory is an excellent idea. Breast cancer is a terrible disease that kills millions of women each year. But restaurants don't always choose the best way to promote their support of cancer-fighting charities.

More »

Dear Dallas Restaurants: The Music on Your Patio Is Probably Too Loud

Categories: Complaint Desk

West-village.jpg
Cover your ears and proceed with caution.
If you haven't been to the West Village in a while, you might not have noticed LYFE Kitchen, which sprung up recently in the spot that used to house Lemon Bar. The fast-casual restaurant is devoted to meeting your every dietary need while supplying you with plenty of shrubbery. Outside the restaurant -- flanking the fake street that would welcome pedestrians into the shopping complex if not for the crass metal gate that's always closed off -- is a nice patio so you can eat your tofu and drink your chia seeds while soaking up the sun.

Music pours from speakers up above, including the artists often featured in commercials about global warming and inhumane slaughter, like Coldplay. I guess the music is supposed to remind you that you're doing a good thing for the world by choosing to consumed responsibly sourced animal proteins. And it might work if Mi Cocina didn't have a competing patio with blaring trumpets just across the street.

More »

In Dallas and Beyond, Custom Cocktails Are Overrated

Categories: Complaint Desk

Smyth_1.jpg
Catherine Downes
The stage at Smyth is set for the cocktail of your dreams, or a complete disaster.
It's Drinking Week at City of Ate, which means even more stories than usual about our favorite pastime. Check back for more stories about craft beer, killer bartenders and more.

I had my first "custom cocktail" about four years ago. I was at new bar in D.C. called The Passenger, where, along with doing untold things to hot dogs, they served drinks few others in the city were making at the time. A man named Tom Brown was behind the bar, and a friend beside me mentioned I could order a customized cocktail -- something whipped up just for me, based on my tastes.

I remember Brown's hulking figure turning toward a wall of spirits, one hand wrapped around a stainless steel shaker and the other near his face, finger tapping his lip in deep introspection. He'd just asked what kind of base spirit I liked and a few other questions about sweetness and flavor preferences, and was presumably was using the information to create something that had never been created before.

More »

The Line at Steel City Pops Makes No Sense

Categories: Complaint Desk

Thumbnail image for Steel-city-popsicle-porn.jpg
Looks good, but be ready for a wait
Dear Steel City Pops,

First, I want you to know I love you. On a hot day, one of your fruity pops is the pinnacle of refreshment; I can't eat it fast enough. An avocado pop, with its creamy tang, would be a treat no matter the weather, and I'm convinced that delicious coffee pop provides a significant boost. I love you so much I favorably reviewed you in a column that's normally reserved for restaurants. You: a little popsicle stand, with only one product.

But there's a problem and it is keeping me from eating all the delicious pops I would otherwise. It's the line. It's INSANE. I absolutely can't understand it. It starts at the counter, stretches out the door before it turns, and at times runs all the way to Prospect Avenue. There might be a hundred people in that line, which you think would not be a problem, but it's enough to keep my inconsolable popsicle paws at bay.

More »

Go Away, Restaurant Musician

Categories: Complaint Desk

restaurant-serenade-flickr-anja_johnson.jpg
Anja_johnson
Back up, dude.
Dear Tableside Restaurant Serenade Man,

We all have to make a living, I know, but your present vocation is having significantly negative impact on my dining experience. I came out to share a quiet meal with a friend and all I can hear if your incessant thrumming.

I can't recall a single meal that was enhanced by your pitchy crooning, in fact, not to mention your lack of respect for my personal space. I'd like to think I might be able to convince my date to come home with me eventually, but you're standing so close that your crotch is directly in her face, subjugating my masculinity. You look at her with eyes that suggest you might be available, should things not work out with me, and then you use the same raised eyebrows in my direction to say, "Hey buddy, how 'bout a tip?"

More »

Five Dallas Dives Guy Fieri Should (Not) Visit

Categories: Complaint Desk

fieri_stencil_naomi_vaughn.jpg
Naomi Vaughn
Guy marked his territory at Maple and Motor in 2012.
Everyone's favorite backwards-sunglasses and flaming-shirt enthusiast Guy Fieri revisits DFW this week, sort of, with an hour-long rehash of former Diner, Drive-Ins and Dives episodes that he's calling "The Legends of Texas" tour, airing all week. As we wrote about in 2012, this means some people's favorite restaurants, including Cane Rosso, are about to be crushed.

In the spirit of Guy's visit to our fair city, we decided to give Guy a few new suggestions for some future Dallas-focused episodes. Then we decided, Screw that. But we'd already written our tip sheet so we just redacted the important details so Fieri can never find them and can never ruin them, too.

More »
Loading...