The New Taco Bell Quesarito, Which Is a Burrito Wrapped in a Quesadilla, Is Perfect
The new Taco Bell Quesarito, which is a burrito sheathed inside a cheesy quesadilla, is perfect. It was released Monday, June 9, and has already been referenced as the best quesadilla-wrapped food item in the country. There are few moments during the quesarito narrative where you think: "Oh, I've made the wrong choice." As Empire Strikes Back lives in the Star Wars series, the quesarito is clearly the best.
Nick Rallo OK, fine, FINE. I staged the quesarito.
There are two things Taco Bell does at an expert level, and they both work in harmony with burrito + quesadilla. One is crazy ass food stratification. A cross-cut of the quesarito revealed layers of ground beef, "premium Latin rice," reduced-fat (!) sour cream, a spicy chipotle sauce, all swimming inside a happy ring of cheese the color of Conan O'Brien's hair. If you end up ordering the quesarito, cut it in half. The pull-apart reveals wonders, like cutting into a geode.
The second thing Taco bell does brilliantly is amalgamation. No food thing can be served without being wall-to-wall inside another food. Even the nachos are barely free-standing anymore: For a time, they were served inside a tortilla that looks like a fat throwing star. Maybe it would be a smart business strategy to wrap everything in a quesadilla? You could deliver the sodas wrapped in a quesadilla, too. Also, the restaurant should be wrapped. Actually, I think it'd be a good idea if Taco Bell developed a quesadilla exoskeleton, which could have military-in-space capabilities.
Nick Rallo The quesarito comes with a tag line.
I know this would be a good idea because the Quesarito is delicious. It was $1.99 (I got the ground "beef"). The chipotle sauce was legitimately spicy, and there was enough of that bright orange cheese to lava-ooze out the burrito's cross-section. When it mixed with the rice, it lit up every lobe of the brain that likes creamy things.
Side note: I firmly believe the addition of chipotle sauce was a big "fuck you" to the Chipotle franchise, which has had the "quesorito" -- a quesadilla-wrapped burrito -- as part of their secret menu for a while.
OH WELL, RIGHT? The thing that makes the quesarito is the spice, which Taco Bell deserves a slow clap for as of late. The only complaint I had was texture. It could use something crunchy. I'm sure it's fine -- there's probably someone showering Fritos all over the inside of a quesarito as we speak, which would also be fine.