Dallas' Car Culture Kept Brian Luscher from Selling, and You from Eating, a Magic Kolache

Categories: Complaint Desk

luscher-kolache.jpg
Luscher's Face
While Mark Lamster, Patrick Kennedy and others debate how Dallas' car-centric design is crushing this city, I thought I'd take a brief moment to illuminate how our car addiction is keeping us from what may be the most delicious kolache ever created. Brian Luscher, chef-owner at The Grape, has been dangling these beauties from his Facebook feed for a few days now, saying he's in the test stages of some new creations.

There's the bratwurst version pictured above, with caraway, spicy brown mustard and gruyere, and there's a Luscher's Red Hot version, with 4-year-old cheddar and candied jalapeño. There are cherry kolaches too, and each looks good enough to render the shootout we had between The Czech Stop and Village Bakery stupid. The bummer of it all is we would likely be eating these right now if it weren't for the city's need to protect cars over delicious food things.

Last year, Luscher announced his plans to open Luscher's in East Dallas, and while he wouldn't tell us too much about the place, we did know he planned to serve his locally-made hot dogs. Now we have a clue that delicious kolaches were likely part of the plan too. We don't know for sure, though, because Luscher never opened his anticipated hot dog temple. The city requirement for parking, which is based solely on the square footage of a restaurant, kitchen and dining room included, was too cost prohibitive and a logistical nightmare. So Luscher bailed.

This is the same requirement that railroaded Jonathon Erdeljac when he wanted to expand the kitchen for his restaurant Jonathon's Oak Cliff. In that case Erdeljac eventually got a variance, but as we covered, it was a real bitch to get.

Luscher says he's still looking for a new location, so for now that picture up there is going to have to do. Hopefully the next spot will have the square footage of a hot dog cart and a parking lot big enough for a Walmart. None of us will be able to sit down inside the place, but as we stand outside on the asphalt holding our beloved kolaches and our Post Oak Red Hots, we'll know we won.

Luscher's Red Hot.jpg
Not yet.



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18 comments
kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

THOSE ........LOOK ..........INCREDIBLE!  me wanty.

rancher
rancher

If Brian just called his new place Walmart (of hotdogs), City Hall would welcome him with red carpet, clear cut an inner City forest and destroy natural creek ways to make sure he got what he needed to open shop.  Even better, find somebody from Highland Park that finances somebody's campaign to go to bat for him at City Hall.  Keepin' it real.  Operating small business in Big D sucks.

brandon.castillo
brandon.castillo

Those parking requirements are waived in the Central Business District AND Deep Ellum, provided the total square footage is less that 2500sqft. 

J_A_
J_A_

Dallas hates small businesses

theslowpath
theslowpath

Technically those are klobasniky, kolache have fruit. 

lebowski300
lebowski300

In what way is that a "kolache [sic]"?. It's something else. A biscuit with meat, maybe.

RcfromOC
RcfromOC

Dallas. The city that just days NO.

soopnan
soopnan

Henderson Ave. Do it.

scott.reitz
scott.reitz moderator

@theslowpath  He's got those too. I just like this picture better because it has meat and cheese in it.

theslowpath
theslowpath

@scott.reitz @theslowpath  I too would have gone with this picture. You just ruined my lunch, because nothing I can eat this afternoon will compare in my mind's eye.


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