Introducing the Choomongous, the Rangers' Latest Player-Inspired Ballpark Food

Categories: Chewing the Fat

TexasRangersChoomongous.jpg
Texas Rangers
There are a few new names we all need to get familiar with before the Rangers' season officially begins on April 1. In addition to Globe Life Park, Shin-Soo Choo, J.P. Arencibia, there's one more you're going to want to write on your cheat-sheet: Choomongous.

Metroplex Sportservice, which manages the concessions and foods for the temple formerly known as Rangers Ballpark, has been busy this offseason scouring the universe for more insane menu ideas. We applaud the results. Continuing with the theme of more-is-more in ballpark food, they've once again created a player-inspired hot dog meal that requires a special handling permit.

See also: The Yu Dog: When Darvish is on the Mound, There's Seaweed on Your Dog

This year Rangers fans can roll up their sleeves and hunker down with a $26 Choomongous, which is two feet of an all-beef hot dog topped with Asian-spiced beef, a spicy slaw and Sriracha on a bakery-fresh bun. (The Rangers and I got our wires crossed: Turns out it's not an actual hot dog but just a spiced-beef sandwich. Which is ... better?)

Other new items will include bacon-on-a-stick dipped in maple syrup, Sidewinder Beer
Battered Fries, brisket sausage and frozen beer. The two-foot Boomstick is still on the menu, loaded with chili, cheese and grilled onions. The Beltre Buster is also returning. The one-pound burger is topped with bacon, Jack cheese and grilled onions and also costs $26.


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26 comments
The_triplefake_Brandon_Eley
The_triplefake_Brandon_Eley

This is awesome.  The Rangers are essentially saying, coming out to the ballpark is supposed to be fun, not all stale with the hanger still in your jacket.  

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

Wow, atleast now I have a reason to go out there. Seems like some one-upsmanship has been going on with MLB foods; I think the White Sawx have introduced a 3 pound sundae, and maybe the Diamondbacks had, like a 4 pound hot dog.....nothing wrong with that.  


The only problem is the average temp at The Temple is 95 degrees, so, you don't want to drink a whole bunch of "dat birra", and then eat a 4 pound hot dog-you'll be puking everywhere. 

J_A_
J_A_

It's an abomination. Anyone have an Asian sausage/rooster sauce joke they'd care to share?

JustSaying
JustSaying

I go to a lot of Rangers games but I almost always just keep it to the beer and dogs basics. I won't eat anything there that even carries a 1% chance that it might make me need to shit in the next 4 hours.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

@J_A_  

I don't have a joke but I think it's kinda' funny that (from the looks of the pic) they offer chopsticks with this beast.


Nictacular
Nictacular

@JustSaying  Stadium shits are the worst.

Spring training stadium shits...like the 7th circle of hell.


Nictacular
Nictacular

@everlastingphelps  People who go to games, like to have fun, and understand that indulging once in a while isn't that bad.

Mostly them.

genrox
genrox

I've had the boomstick, not bad.

JustSaying
JustSaying

@Nictacular@everlastingphelps I can't believe that the Rangers dropped the ball and let the Arizona Diamondbacks be the first team that offered a giant corn dog. That damned thing is 18 inches long and stuffed with cheese, bacon, and jalapeños. How did Texas not do that first?


It takes quite a bit of self control to use corn dog instead of corny dog. Its been my experience that corny dog will get mocked more than ya'll, fixin' to, and ain't combined.

everlastingphelps
everlastingphelps topcommenter

@Nictacular @everlastingphelps  Oh, I'm all about indulgence.  I drink all the beers when I'm at a game, and can't have enough BBQ.  This isn't indulgence, though.  This is crap.  It's more like penance than indulgence.

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

@genrox  


ya, but you shared it with like 23 other girlfriends.......I saw ya'll with the fruity drinks-NOT paying attention to the game. 

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

@genrox  


hmmmm, I'm real skeptical.......99% of the females I see out at The Temple are texting, or running the mouth, shopping, etc. Last time I went, one lady was yelling at the umps, but she was 300+, in a wheelchair, and had a mullet. 

genrox
genrox

Nope, you have me mistaken. I was the one having the Shiner arguing the umps calls.

genrox
genrox

Lol Oh yea she did. It was so big i had to share with two others.

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