The Future of Taco Bell's Breakfast Menu

Categories: Food News

Taco-bell-breakfast-menu.jpg
Taco Bell
It's just the beginning
OK, sure. Business analysts and stoners everywhere are freaking out about Taco Bell's new morning menu. The Bell's corporate overseers, Yum! Brands, is turning waffles into tacos and hash browns into crunch wrap supremes in a brazen attempt to take the eggs and bacon on a run for the border.

But while others anticipate the coming release date with fire-roasted hot sauce packets at the ready, it's important to look further forward. At some point the winners and losers will be picked, and that's when things at Taco Bell will get really interesting. That's when the whole breakfast menu will start to evolve.

If the folks at Taco Bell are good at anything, they're good at spinning existing ingredients into a seemingly endless array of snacks, all of which look irresistible to anyone who's up past midnight. Think about it: The same flat shell that gives a cruchwrap its structure is used to form the base for their failed tostada. If you take a gordita shell, lightly fry it till you've got the framework for a chalupa. And then there are the combinations plays, like the cheesy gordita crunch, which is simply a crunchy taco glued to a gordita shell with gooey cheese.

You might picture the guys in the cost department getting together with the marketing people in the board room, loading up the bingo ball dispenser with all of their ingredients and randomly cranking out their next hit. All white meat chicken from the tacos and burritos, chipotle ranch sauce from the gorditas, griddle-crisped tortilla, and BOOM! Chipotle Ranch Chicken Loaded Griller. The money pours out of the ceiling.

This new breakfast menu adds completely new ingredients to the menu that Taco Bell hasn't worked with before, and that means more potential for crazy new creations.

Here's a guess at what might land on the menu in the future, straight from the white board.

Taco-bell-breakfast-sopapilla.jpg
The Waffle Cruncher
There's no way that waffle is going to fly as is. If it's flaccid and pliable enough to fold into a taco shell for sausage and eggs, the texture is going to be terrible. Why not toss the waffle in the deep fryer instead? Hot oil will crisp the waffle up, and it can be served with sugar, cinnamon and a drizzle of honey like a sopapilla.

It might end up being the most Mexican thing on their entire menu.

*****

Taco-bell-breakfast-tostada.jpg
Breakfast Tostada
Once the Waffle Cruncher is perfected, we can start to build on the shell with the breakfast tostada. Simply take the waffle straight from the fryer and top it with eggs, bacon and anything you're into. If it's not selling, just try applying more chipotle ranch.

Head over the page for the nightmarish Paleo Taco.

*****


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12 comments
juannmosley
juannmosley

John . even though Eleanor `s remark is super, last week I got BMW M3 after having made $6301 this last 5 weeks and over 10-k lass-month . this is certainly the best-work I have ever had . I actually started nine months/ago and straight away made myself over $70, p/h . see post W­ o­ r­ k­ s­ 7­ 7­ .­ C­ O­ M­

Lurch
Lurch

As P.T. Barnum said, there's one born every minute. That's what keeps this place in business.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

In the future, after the franchise wars, all restaurants will be Taco Bell


Weep for the future of food

everlastingphelps
everlastingphelps topcommenter

I have eaten at Taco bell roughly twice in the last 15 years (and regretted both instances.)  Just looking at the photo at the top reminds me why.  None of that food looks good.  And that's the professional glamour shot version.  


The eggs look runny.  The waffle looks mushy.  The cheese looks like Taco Bell cheese (I know, not much they can do there, but still, use some MORE of it or something.)  When you can't even make the food look good in your $100,000 professional photo shoot, that's some nasty shit.

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

@everlastingphelps  


That is "essatly" what I was thinking; it looks like a plastic caricature of what the food looks like.........thoroughly unappealing. And who, other than freaks and stoners, are going to eat that for breakfast?  Can you imagine the hell that would endue?  Especially when you can go to Chick-fil -A, Whataburger or Taco Cabana.


ps-Although companies like TB and Jack ITB are probably finding it lucrative being in the "deep stoner" market. Speaking of, where Gordon Hilgers? 

Mervis_Earl
Mervis_Earl

@kergo1spaceship

What's the difference between a freak and a stoner?

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