The Six Couples Dallas' Servers Will Hate This Valentine's Day

Categories: Holidays

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Friday night, thousands of couples across the Metroplex will descend on Dallas' finest (and not so fine) restaurants to spend the evening celebrating their love or whatever. They'll enjoy an overpriced prix fixe dinner, drink a mediocre bottle of wine and, perhaps most importantly, annoy the hell out of some poor server.

Valentine's Day is one of those times of the year, like Mother's Day and Thanksgiving, that makes waiting tables the worst. You might be excited about a nice dinner out, but your server is not at all excited about serving you. This holiday presents a specific set of challenges for wait staff, and really makes them pissed off to be at work in the first place.
Whatever you do, don't be one of these six couples when you go out for your V-Day dinner.

1. The overly affectionate couple
This couple has moved beyond hand-holding and eye-making and is straight up sucking face at the table. Not only is it close to impossible to take their order, servers also have a front-row view of this enthusiastic couple's tonsils. These are the people you'd normally scream "GET A ROOM" at when they're in public, but your server can only think evil thoughts while trying to pour wine during breaks in the groping.

2. The couple that hates each other
These jerks are somehow worse than the couple dry humping at the table. I have no idea why couples whose relationship is on its last legs has any interest in celebrating their used-to-be love in a public place, but it's obviously a thing. One server told me a terribly awkward story about serving a semi-famous technology exec and his wife while she was waiting tables at Bijoux. The wife had been busted cheating sometime before the dinner, and semi-famous tech exec spent the entire evening groveling to his cheating wife while looking sheepish. This, folks, is why they invented eat-in kitchens and personal chefs.

3. The broke-ass couple
This pain-in-the-ass pair has saved up all their change in a bucket for months to finally have a nice dinner at a good restaurant. Unfortunately, they didn't quite save long enough to set aside a little cash to tip the server. Sure, broke-ass couple deserves a break, but not at the expense of the also-broke wait staff's after-work drinkin' money.


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10 comments
TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

There is a new breed of couple out there that I've come across recently - The Incessant Texters.

My wife and I went out for some tex-mex last week and were seated back to back with a young couple. From the moment we arrived until the moment we left, the only conversation we heard from that table was terse interaction with the wait-staff. Beyond that the only sound to be heard, unceasingly, from their table was the staccato tappity-tap-tap-tap, occasionally punctuated by a random ding-ding-ing of their mobile devices.

Americano
Americano

As someone in the Restaurant biz, let me urge everyone with a brain, never go out to eat on Valentine's Day!  It's a cattle call, and the staff is just trying to get through it.  This goes for New Years Eve as well.  If you want good, genuine service, go out 3 days before or after these holidays.

lebowski300
lebowski300

The Two Writers Dallas Observer Readers Will Hate This Valentine's Day

1. The Writer Unable to Escape Liberal Arts Dogma - by expressing every blue collar worker as a "poor" something or other, to be pitied.

2. The Utterly Intellectually Vacant Internet Writer - by using the tired saw of using a numbered list to express themselves instead of buckling down and actually writing something decent

whocareswhatithink
whocareswhatithink

Yes, those days we all have to put up with shitty work conditions. Welcome to life outside of being a server as well - where you don't get tipped

Sharon_Moreanus
Sharon_Moreanus topcommenter

Valentines is better than Mothers day. Less kids.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

Basically dont go out for dinner because your waiter loathes waiting tables on a holiday.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

@Americano  AMEN    Valentine's Day and Mother's Day are like Easter and Christmas church service; pointless to fight the herd and ruin a nice day.

EdD.
EdD.

@ScottsMerkin To be fair, your waiter loathes waiting tables on all the other days, too.

The_triplefake_Brandon_Eley
The_triplefake_Brandon_Eley

@EdD. @ScottsMerkin 

In other words, don't go to their place of employment because they hate their job, and I'm the asshole for not tipping them what they think they deserve for doing a job they hate.


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