The Six Couples Dallas' Servers Will Hate This Valentine's Day
Friday night, thousands of couples across the Metroplex will descend on Dallas' finest (and not so fine) restaurants to spend the evening celebrating their love or whatever. They'll enjoy an overpriced prix fixe dinner, drink a mediocre bottle of wine and, perhaps most importantly, annoy the hell out of some poor server.
Valentine's Day is one of those times of the year, like Mother's Day and Thanksgiving, that makes waiting tables the worst. You might be excited about a nice dinner out, but your server is not at all excited about serving you. This holiday presents a specific set of challenges for wait staff, and really makes them pissed off to be at work in the first place.
Whatever you do, don't be one of these six couples when you go out for your V-Day dinner.
1. The overly affectionate couple
This couple has moved beyond hand-holding and eye-making and is straight up sucking face at the table. Not only is it close to impossible to take their order, servers also have a front-row view of this enthusiastic couple's tonsils. These are the people you'd normally scream "GET A ROOM" at when they're in public, but your server can only think evil thoughts while trying to pour wine during breaks in the groping.
2. The couple that hates each other
These jerks are somehow worse than the couple dry humping at the table. I have no idea why couples whose relationship is on its last legs has any interest in celebrating their used-to-be love in a public place, but it's obviously a thing. One server told me a terribly awkward story about serving a semi-famous technology exec and his wife while she was waiting tables at Bijoux. The wife had been busted cheating sometime before the dinner, and semi-famous tech exec spent the entire evening groveling to his cheating wife while looking sheepish. This, folks, is why they invented eat-in kitchens and personal chefs.
3. The broke-ass couple
This pain-in-the-ass pair has saved up all their change in a bucket for months to finally have a nice dinner at a good restaurant. Unfortunately, they didn't quite save long enough to set aside a little cash to tip the server. Sure, broke-ass couple deserves a break, but not at the expense of the also-broke wait staff's after-work drinkin' money.