Now Scientists Say Coffee Doesn't Dehydrate, Another Reason to Never Drink Water

Categories: Coffee, Food News

Via Stirling Noyes
An important thing to remember about science is that, like a good soap opera, it's never really finished. No issue is really settled as long as there are more people capable of asking more questions and doing more research. This is a good thing. It's what keeps us from accepting things as true without testing them against new ideas, data or technologies.

Thankfully, someone thought to challenge the supposedly unhealthy aspects of coffee. It's been a long held understanding that caffeine, like alcohol, causes dehydration. Since staying well watered is key to good health (though scientists even disagree on the specifics of that), there's been a lot of concern over the average person's use/abuse of coffee. Especially because the U.S. is one of the coffee-drinkingest countries in the world, consuming an annual 4.2 kg of coffee per person, more than three times the global average.

See also: Scientists Agree That You Should Drink a Lot of Coffee, but Not Too Much Or YOU'LL DIE

It turns out the whole idea is, for now anyway, bunk. A research team at the University of Birmingham in the U.K. has found that coffee actually has the same hydrating qualities as water. As NPR points out, these findings support previous research that caffeine didn't prevent athletes from re-hydrating normally after a workout.

The Birmingham study involved 50 men going through two phases of observation, one in which they used mostly coffee as their source of hydration (which, ugh) and then another in which they drank water like normal humans. They found no significant change in the subjects' hydration levels. Which means that despite common knowledge, coffee doesn't actually force you to pee (note: it does make you poop ).

The results only hold up for moderate consumption, so as of now it's ill-advised to down eight 8-ounce glasses of coffee a day, but surely someone will come along and do a study on that soon enough.

This news comes at the same time as new research suggesting caffeine actually boosts memory. Scientists had already established that it improves the memory of bees, so it's about time someone figured out how to apply that to humans.

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I enjoy several large cups of French Roast every day, in either my pink or my green large porcelain Starbucks coffee cups, both of which are made in China and are microwave and dishwasher safe.  I have lots of cups, even Christmas cups, and a couple of terracotta wannabes with colorful stripes on them, one of which has a chip on the rim.  I have a little cup from a long-gone little shop in the Dallas tunnel district called "Tuscany" which even has some gold leaf on it, but I only use it for watering plants and as a reservoir when I need to remove earwax.  I do have a couple of three-tined forks, but they're useless in regards to coffee, but do happen to be stainless steel. 

Oh the porcelian and silverware of life.  Never even been to The Mansion family restaurant on Turtle Creek, but I have sat on the park benches, laughing to myself at the "dutiful and concerned" citizens who perpetually paint-over spray-paint tags with gray enamel down by the river, walled-in, of course, by concrete, a blondish limestone mixture complete with lots and lots of sand: Who'd have thought a wall is a beach in disguise? 

When a huge flood blew through that ravine a few years ago, the water so high it flooded the Cedar Springs bridge over the usually-not-so-troubled-waters, the fury of rushing creek water, reinforced by seemingly endless rain, fiercely floated a full section of sidewalk right to the edge. 

I saw a drowned cormorant down by the crick.  The colored mallards were quacking around it as it drifted towards the spillway, a really mean bird that was, only naturally, gray and dead. 

Most surprising about that 100-year flood is the sheer plethora of plastic grocery and drugstore bags hanging in the trees like scarecrows.  I could not help but wonder as I wandered, "Upstream, what are those people thinking not putting lids on their garbage pails?"

Lakeside Park is off-limits to this day, especially to Blacks without proper validation cards that demand village citizenship of the professional South village and the "great students of the North", otherwise known as University Park.  Parks, Roses, Rosewood, Woodbine, Glens, Freed's Furniture.  Some of the mansions along the upper reaches of creek-ville are astoundingly luxuriant and ever-so-private.  It is nice to look at them across the "hydrant" before backing-up, crossing the six-lane, placed naturally to allow the luxuriant set an easy ride downtown, and passing Good Eats and Lucky's. 

Thinking of the green tea liquid of Turtle Creek, I prefer coffee, but when I'm sick, something that rarely happens, I think about that flue, and yank a bag of expensive tea out of the cupboard. 

Astronauts drink coffee from plastic bags in orbit.  It must be quite funny to astronauts to note that night and day, good and evil, are really a matter of rotation, the vacuum black as coffee. 

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