Kitchen Towels as Napkins: A Trend That Needs to Die Now

Categories: Complaint Desk

The kitchen towel trend can't last for ever anyway.
It was cute when it started. Looking for a way to differentiate their table settings, restaurateurs began replacing traditional linen dinner napkins with dressy cotton dishtowels. There had already been a gradual relaxing of rigid dining protocols as a result of the recent recession, and laid-back dishtowels were a logical extension. Linen was suddenly stuffy and old-fashioned, while its neatly rolled replacement was comforting and gave restaurant tables a fresh look.

But as dishtowels have become the linen of choice, gracing tables in gastropubs, trendy restaurants and any other establishment that serves "craft cocktails" or brunch, I find myself less enamored. They're everywhere, and they've lost their impact. And even though they're offered in waffle-weave, basket weave and other fabrics, and in stripes or plain and printed, too, they seem a little worn-out.

As if encountering the towels at every table weren't enough, they're starting to look tired, too. Some towels appear to have been in service since the trend began, as faint spots, halos and other remnants of meals long since enjoyed mar what has gradually declined into gauzy material. The worst look like they might have even soaked in dishwater a few times, ironically serving the purpose they were originally meant to.

The dish-towel-turned-napkin only works when the towel in question is crisp and new. Anything less is a kitchen rag.

If daubing your face with unsightly linens doesn't affront you, consider the lint. All towels aren't created equally, and as dishtowels have become more popular, restaurants have increasingly come to rely on versions cut from questionable fabric. Draped across the legs these inferior linens have an effect not unlike a Persian cat, leaving a fine veil of fuzz that requires half a roll of masking tape to remove.

Certainly we'll get back to the linen standard eventually -- even the good trends fade -- but dinner-table dishtowels seem an appropriate candidate for an accelerated dismissal. The white linen napkin was a classic. Bring it back and let diners tend to their dribbles chins with some style. And relegate the kitchen towels back to where they belong: a kitchen bucket.

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These are commonly found with a large bolt nut used as a napkin ring and bare lightbulb as your chandelier


No, please, let's all go back to those impermeable Scotchguarded green squares that absorb nothing and are utterly useless as napkins but still look great folded as a flower in a water glass after years of attempted use.


 "a gradual relaxing of rigid dining protocols as a result of the recent recession".........and necessity is truly the mother of invention! 

"gracing tables in gastropubs, trendy restaurants and any other establishment that serves "craft cocktails" or brunch, I find myself less enamored"..........did you inherit the soul of a 75 year old farm maiden Scott?   Oh brother sir! 

In other slow news day offerings, the pope has flowing robes, and Dickey's BBQ just pulled another brisket from a cryogenic grave-and declared said product "good". 

ps-On the Dickey's holiday commercials on radio, who is that chain smoking sounding hag? Sounds like she just rolled off a boat dock with three middle aged drunkards from Garland, or Hurst. 

Is anything more attractive than ciggy voice?  Especially at 3 am, when you just had your yearly bender, and you are trying to escape? 

And do you all ever ask "yerselves" , "why do municipalities such as Garland, Hurst and Little Elm exist?"

These are serious questions I ponder in the middle of the night while I'm watching the brisket cook, or smoking a whole damn bird. 

Recommendation of the Day:

1) Make a nice homemade soup.  I suggest a HEARTY cream of mushroom; but you all must use fresh bacon (Wright Brand), sauteed portobello's,  and half and half.  Sure it'll make you fat as a house if you eat too much, but it will warm the cockles of your heart. 

2) Never bet against the three time Super Bowl champion Patriots....especially this year; with four magical, incredible comebacks, an aging quarterback, one injured Gronk, zero quality receivers and a guy that murdered a whole bunch of people. Tom Brady is the NEW Bobby Orr. 


Garland exists because Plano was not an option during the first white flight movement of the 50's-60's.


Little Elm is the Euless of Collin county.



Little Elm is in Denton County........Paris, Texas is the Euless of Lamar County.  If they took Paris off the Texas map (ala Lake Lavon), the state would improve.


@ChrisYu @kergo1spaceship 

Man O' Man, I loved me that album when I was a kid; Willie's rendition of "B.I.C.i.t.R" stills gives me chills. He did the great Fred Rose right by singing his best high lonesome; that, and the song is so sparse, so minimalistic-love it!  Right up there with:

-Joe Ely/If You Were a Bluebird


-Elvis/Love Me Tender

Other Great Fred Rose Penned or Co-Penned Songs

-Kaw Liga (the first punk song) by Hank

-I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive

-Deep Water

-Roly Poly

ps-The land of Gar gets no;s an utter smelly dump sir. 

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