Oak Cliff Coffee Roasters Is Brewing Two JFK Conspiracy-Theory Coffees

Categories: Coffee

JFK_Coffee.jpg
For a city that's quick to tear down most any building, Dallas has embraced its history with gusto. Not that it's possible to pretend that the Kennedy assassination never happened, but across the city people are enthusiastically touting their history and connections to event. Really, it's a surprise we haven't already seen more JFK-themed foodstuffs.

Oak Cliff Coffee Roasters is commemorating Oswald's apprehension in the neighborhood and trying to "honor President Kennedy, remember Oak Cliff's historical ties to his assassination and acknowledge the unresolved mystery surrounding the plot to kill the President" with a limited-edition set of two conspiracy-theory coffees.

See also: Scientists Agree That You Should Drink a Lot of Coffee, but Not Too Much Or YOU'LL DIE

The two coffees are limited run and incorporate some pretty good wordplay. The "Magic Bullet Theory" is a single origin coffee, the San Marco Honey-Processed micro-lot from Costa Rica, while the "Multiple Shooters Theory" is a blend of two different coffees, one wet-processed and one dry, from Yirgacheffe in Ethiopia.

Sadly there's no Warren Commission coffee, "The CIA Did It" breakfast roast or "What About the KGB?" cafe cubano. This is conspiracy streamlined.

Oak Cliff Coffee will only produce 200 sets of the two coffees, and they come in a commemorative tin in case you're inspired to come up with your own conspiracy theory (-inspired coffee blends). You can place an order through their website for $50 and the roasting starts on Friday, on the anniversary proper. The second roast date is December 18, because we all have that one friend into kitsch, coffee and assassins who's impossible to find a Christmas gift for.

Either will be a delicious way to start the day when paired with the inevitable Conspir-ios cereal with marshmallow limos.

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6 comments
murdertron90001
murdertron90001

There's a reason that the JFK "conspiracy" is making the rounds in the press.


Quite simply, to get the public into the correct mindset to dismiss anything that sounds like a conspiracy theory. Though, I'm sure recent revelations about the NSA have nothing to do with it whatsoever.

mcdallas
mcdallas

That coffee shoots right through you.

faireyland
faireyland

Too bad they can't arrange to have the beans roasted at the book depository...

luke.darby
luke.darby

@crford It's been corrected, thanks for pointing that out.

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