Please Stop Messing with Doughnuts, America

Categories: Complaint Desk

donuts_flickr.jpg
Phil King/Flickr
Doughnuts, like love, are all you need.
Everyone loves doughnuts. Old people love doughnuts. So do kids. Doughnut shops can be found in rural towns and urban neighborhoods across America, rarely with a sign more specific than the word "donut." (Yes, they spell it wrong.) They transcend race, class and gender. They are the kind of food that is acceptable to bring to almost any function. Doughnuts soak up alcohol at the end of a late night. Churches are held together by doughnuts. The doughnut, in short, is amazing.

Everyone loves to read about doughnuts, too: doughnut shops, new types of doughnuts (hello bacon) and doughnut hybrids. That last one has been particularly popular lately, probably because we are running out of new things to put on top of doughnuts. People have been combining doughnuts with churros and croissants and hamburgers, and I'm here to say: IT HAS GOT TO STOP. It is time to put an end to the bastardization of the doughnut.

Call me a Doughnut Luddite, but can't we just let a good thing be good? Glazed, fried, diabetes-inducing good?

Apparently not, because someone went and mated the doughnut with a croissant and then people waited in line for it. Why would you stand in line for a cronut when you could eat a doughnut or three and spend all that time you saved taking a nap?

Now Urban Taco claims to have crossed the doughnut with a churro. But it is just a churro made into a circle shape. You can see that too, right? Please someone tell me they see that too. In all seriousness, it looks really delicious but that is not a doughnut and does not need its own press release. Churros are fantastic in their own right and don't need help any help from the doughnut.

Who has a doughnut and thinks, "This is good, but I feel like it is missing something?" No one. No one ever thinks that. Because the doughnut is already perfect and perfect things don't need changing. So today or tonight or this weekend, let your favorite hall of doughnuts know you love them and they are beautiful and should never change. Because the classics deserve some respect. And a blog post every now and then.


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18 comments
mbcez
mbcez

btw just wanted to point out to everyone that the Blueberry Cake, doughnut is the best and most perfect doughnut.  Just thought id share lol. 

mbcez
mbcez

Nice, well written article.  One of the few ive enjoyed and not felt the need to bash it for one reason or another!
Keep it up!

markus
markus

Liz, 

I hope this comment finds you well! This is Markus, from Urban Taco. I am an avid reader of City of Ate, and love your content, its well documented, unbiased and honest which is great for the city. I am also a doughnut fan, who isn't? In no way we are trying to bastardize a food icon...all I was trying to do was have a little fun! If anything I think what people are doing is heightening the awareness for doughnuts, aka Glazed Doughnuts viral success! Amazing stuff! 

I love to express creativity through Urban Taco, and we like to have fun.. In actuality I feel a lot like you do about this whole Hybrid deal...Ramen Burgers? Those sound crazy! 

Really, what I was trying to do is challenge myself to have some fun and see if I can bring something different to my customers... I would like to personally invite you to try one if you would like...You may love it or hate it...

Sincerely Markus/Urban Taco.

. Please contact me through any social media outlet if you are interested in my invite. 

holmantx
holmantx topcommenter

Agreed.  Stop using the doughnut as a vehicle to sell me something I would never buy in the first place.

Having said that, I am all in on freedom of expression.  A statement.  A form of art even if I do not agree with it.

I'm now conflicted.

Thanks a lot, Ms. Goulding.

Japakomom
Japakomom

What about the doughnut burger? Perfect fair food...

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

best doughnut songs

doughnut make my brown eyes blue

doughnut make you wanna dance

every picture tells a story doughnut

Mervis_Earl
Mervis_Earl

Go to Jerry's in Farmers Branch at Josey and Valley View and ask for one of them new fangled donuts. Ha, the Donut Nazi's there will stare you out of the building. Oh yeah, don't be on your cellphone when it's your turn to order at the 7:30-8:00ish rush hour. No donuts for you, three years!!!!! Don't pull the "Elaine" when you are putting together your mixed dozen for the office. No donuts for you, four years!!!!!!!!    Great place.

G_David
G_David

I agree.  I don't want a hybrid.  And I don't want a chunk of fried dough that looks like the owner of the shop just swept up whatever the hell was on the floor and dumped it on top.  They think they're being cool and trendy.  I think they're idiots.

J_A_
J_A_

Agreed. I don't want bacon or any meat on my donut! Mmm now I'm craving an eclair.

nope
nope

Donut.

Donut.

Donut.


Those extra letters are worthless, let's just accept it and move on.

kplo
kplo moderator communitymanager

If you don't think the doughnut is already perfect, you've got some real issues with happiness.

MightyBearSeven
MightyBearSeven

Glazed 'Donut' Works is delicious, and I'll defend it with my life. Or at least with this post.

mbcez
mbcez

@Japakomom no!! how about just a burger, then give me a doughnut for desert.

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

@kplo  what the hell-community manager??with a badge??Facebook has been replaced by Marshall Law(nice comment, though)

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