25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas

Categories: Lists

Thumbnail image for Lucia Agnolotti.jpg
Catherine Downes
If you've had Lucia's Agnolotti more than once, you eat out a lot.
Everybody has that Dallas friend who seems to know everything about every restaurant in this fine city. But have things gone a little too far?

Are we on a first-name basis with way too many sommeliers in town? Is it easier for people to find you sitting at a table inside La Banqueta on Bryan Street than at your own home? (If you knee-jerk answered "Whatever, there aren't tables inside La Banqueta on Bryan Street, there's only a bar with like one chair and there's barely any room for someone to sit there, nobody would hang out there all day," there's no reason for you to read this list. You clearly have a problem.)

Is it time for an intervention? Here are 25 signs that you might be spending too much time dining out in Dallas.

Lucia Salumi Bandi.jpg
Catherine Downes
1. You never schedule meetings for 9 a.m. on the first of the month, just in case you might want to make reservations at Lucia.

*****

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2. John Tesar hates you.

*****

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3. You've ordered so many Ascencion macchiatos that they no longer lecture about what a real macchiato is.

*****

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via Fearing's
4. Dean Fearing's band wrote a song about you.

*****

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5. Your car is parked overnight on Henderson at least three nights a week.

*****

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Scott Reitz
6. Your phone no longer autocorrects "Nonna" to "Nina."

*****

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Alison V. Smith
7. When you order the omakase at Tei-An, Teiichi starts sharpening his knives and says, "Oh, it's on bitches."

*****

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8. You've been chest bumped by Jack Perkins.

*****

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Sara Kerens
9. "If found, deliver to Neighborhood Services" is tattooed on the inside of your wrist.

*****

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10. You know where this artwork hangs.

*****

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11. You avoid Mother's Day brunch because "All those stupid families be fillin' up my favorite restaurant."

*****

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Stanton Stevens
Cafe Momentum founder Chad Houser (right) with apprentice Malik Runnels.
12. Your watch is synchronized to Cafe Momentum's so you're sure to get tickets to their pop-up dinners exactly five seconds after they go on sale. Every time.

*****

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Catherine Downes
13. You refer to Off-Site Kitchen as "Kitchen."

*****

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Naomi Vaughn
14. Guy Fieri's production staff called you and asked which Dallas restaurants he should check out for Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives.

*****

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15. Kent Rathbun once let you drive his yellow Porsche as an amuse bouche.

Location Info

Venue

Map

Tacos La Banqueta - CLOSED

4500 Bryan St., Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant

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24 comments
xmantx
xmantx

well. don't know 1/2 these places so i am ok. valet sucks in this city

MariaL
MariaL

You know a lot about goofy shit and fair food, but you need to lay off the real shit. You and Scott have little or no taste. We still like you and Scott even though he tried to pick up on my dude friend last week.

Patrick Ramos
Patrick Ramos

annnnnd not one single one of these applies to me. cant imagine who this list is for

Russ Coffman
Russ Coffman

$8 to PARK? No thanks, that just screams "Shop somewhere else."

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

Your local Whataburger calls at 6:40 p.m. on Wednesday to see where you are and if you're ok.

doofUSA
doofUSA

Ok where is that Marley picture at I know I've seen it

Julie Wier Glover
Julie Wier Glover

We need this list for Denton, right Melissa Crayon Lenaburg? ;)

TWLII
TWLII

Isn't Off Site Kitchen just referred to as OSK? Never heard it called Kitchen. I could be wrong.

Nictacular
Nictacular

29. You got caught stealing a bottle of the "green" from La Banqueta.  (Dude's peripheral vision is amazing.)

punkindrublic
punkindrublic

I like to go drinkin in the vacant lot across the street!

everlastingphelps
everlastingphelps topcommenter

What if you shortened Off Site Kitchen to OSK instead?  And your wife didn't have to ask you what OSK stood for when you did it?

joe.tone
joe.tone moderator

28. Your wife's water broke on the porch of The Porch. (No, seriously, it did. My apologies to everyone who's eaten at The Porch since February 2012.)

marye214
marye214

27. You've gotten Jack Perkins all butthurt.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

26. You've blown up big as a house and ready to plotz?

J_A_
J_A_

Now that's not a very nice thing to say. What is some "real shit"?

joe.tone
joe.tone moderator

@MariaL There are restaurants listed here that are not up to your standards, Maria?

juanmayeaux
juanmayeaux

Jerry Jones must own the parking lot.

P1Gunter
P1Gunter

Sausage, egg, and cheese taquito with extra picante is the breakfast of champions.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@joe.tone that is a great fact, I will think of this every time I eat there

1dailyreader
1dailyreader

@Myrna.Minkoff-Katz 29.  Your server  makes you a gallon of margarita from her private tequila stash at home and brings it to you on the night you reserve for that restaurant.  (to be consumed at home)

Nictacular
Nictacular

@P1Gunter I think a lot of people overlook the sausage BoB. Toasted bun, large slab of sausage, and fried egg. 

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