The Best Placenta Recipes on the Internet!

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Dear Reader: Before you load up to fire off a comment about this post on our food blog, just stare at this picture and count to 10.
I'm currently building a baby, and I realize that in addition to the gift of life, I've got this awesome placenta that's brewing in me, too. I'm told I have some choices to make about what I want to do with it when it, uh, comes out of the smoker. I'm all about the locavore movement, and it doesn't get any more local than I-made-it-in-me, right?

See also:
- The Charmin Bears Must Die
- My Lady Parts and I Have a Few Questions for the Makers of Bic For Her Pens

Brittany Wackowski, a placenta encapsulation specialist in Dallas, tells me that placenta encapsulation offers "a natural hormone replacement, made by Mom, at a time when she needs it most." She tells me that placenta ingestion has several benefits. "It can reduce postpartum fatigue, increase milk supply for breast feeding moms, lessen post-labor bleeding. It offers a boost in vitamins (namely Iron). Ingestion of placenta can help a mom prevent PPD altogether. It's a more balanced, more energetic, yet at the same time, relaxed recovery."

But, "Why encapsulate this and take it like a vitamin when I could smoke it in a real smoker, throw it on the grill or make it into casserole," thought so many people on the Internet, apparently. I Googled "placenta recipes" in order to see if anyone on the World Wide Web had ever made placenta pastrami, and that's when I found these words: "The Best Placenta Recipes On The Internet!" and these "It's a fine placenta sausage topping."

There are recipes for placenta lasagna, placenta pizza, a placenta cocktail (which doesn't involve vodka for some unknown reason) and (obvs) placenta stew. I even found this book, which includes 25 "Easy and delicious recipes for cooking with placenta!" Oh hell yes, Amazon, I will look inside. I learned this:

1. People who cook with placenta appear to be extremely exclaimy.
2. Placenta pâté is a thing.
3. Roast placenta serves six to eight.
4. If you don't like the sound of meatloaf, maybe you're interested in placenta loaf as a substitute.
5. Placenta can be used as a sub in any recipe for liver. Placentawurst? A definite possibility. An even better band name.

I'm interested in the options I've got. Don't want any food opportunity to go to waste, right? Which direction do you guys think I should go? Two placenta capsules and a shot of tequila, or placenta pâté? (I'm open to pairing suggestions.)

See also: The Charmin Bears Must Die


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20 comments
primi_timpano
primi_timpano topcommenter

Once used a shampoo (redken?) that listed human placenta as an ingredient. I thought that was pretty weird. Dining on human placenta sounds like an old Cronenberg movie.

DiabloRojo
DiabloRojo

Placenta Sashimi w/hemo dipping sauce?

John Riccomi
John Riccomi

I only want the second best recipes for placenta.

alteredjustice
alteredjustice

Why is this even a question? We're from Texas, and summertime is coming.

Deep. Fried. Placenta.

IllTryAnythingOnce
IllTryAnythingOnce

I would never name my band Placentawurst?  Although, I would love to go see Placentawurst!

Sean Tinsley
Sean Tinsley

Well I suppose having a picture of a puppy "implies" the story's main topic... but when I read "recipe" and see "puppy" my brain goes: "Wtf?!"

bealotcoolerifyoudid
bealotcoolerifyoudid

I hear there are people that drink their own urine, is this kind of like that?

CitizenKane
CitizenKane

It makes great a great fertilizer;  I suggest you plant a tree and mix the placenta in with the rootball....a much better way to remember baby !

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

@Twinwillow ACCKH.......BLECGHH!!!  [Myrna geef het ontbijt op]

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