Our Five Favorite Gut Bombs at the Rangers Ballpark (Photos)

Categories: Food Porn

All photos LDD

"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may," wrote Herrick.

Or eat. We sort of like eating more than gardening to celebrate the beginning, or ending, of any season. And, if you've made it out to the Ballpark in Arlington for some springtime baseball, you've certainly had plenty to keep you busy. The Rangers spent their offseason rounding out their menu options. Girth was the strategy.

I like the use of buckets here at the Ballpark this season. It's like, "Hey, we're going for it all. No holds barred." Who are we kidding though: when are we getting troughs?

Here are our five favorite culinary gut bombs, including the darling above: a bucket full of potato chips topped with bacon, cheese, sour cream and chives known adoringly as the Bases Loaded.

The Ballpark BBQ Bucket has fresh-cut potato chips topped with shredded brisket, barbecue sauce, nacho cheese sauce and jalapeños. No, we're not kidding. We wouldn't kid on a day like today.

This bowl is only as big as your hand, so it should be considered an appetizer. Or a teaser. The Smokehouse Fries come with a base made from fresh cut waffle fries, topped with an avalanche of brisket. Barbecue sauce acts as the snow-topped peaks, finished off with bits of fried onion. This is why elastic waistbands were invented. For moments like this.
Here in this trio of boomsticks, the one with Doritos looks to certainly be the most punishing. We're wondering which has more nutrition, the hotdogs or the baseball bats lying next to them.
This monster is a 24-inch chili cheese dog loaded down with grilled onions, jalapeños and topped with sauerkraut. Gather ye rosebuds and buy pants with elastic. That's the lesson of the day. I'm tired from just looking at all these pictures.

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TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

Those . . . are . . .  unbelieveable.

Just another sign of the inevitable decline and fall of Western civilization.

The terrrorists don't even need to bomb our shit to pieces. Just wait a few more years until we're all to fat and groggy, sleeping off the beer and brisket and starch in the afternoon sun during a double-header and sneak in and take the whole freakin' place over while we're busy searching the pockets we can still reach for our Prilosec.


On opening day some dude was carrying the leftover remnants of his boomstick on his shoulder like a 2x4. What a soggy mess that would be.


rumor has it that Nap's ate one of each of those during the 7th inning stretch.....he looks fatter than ever!


Had to repost this from Merkie from last week.....genius sir, GENIUS!

"I went to blanket night with Yu on Tuesday.   We didnt get a blanket, I drank 8 beers had 2 hot dogs in the 7th for $10 and nearly shat myself in bed at 3 am.  Ill go for the turkey leg next time"

ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@Nictacular friend had some bucket o cheese fries and that was enough, cant imagine one loaded with meat and other various toppings, but im sure Ill try more than one of them this year. It inevitable that beer will take over and a bet or 2 will be made on who can eat what


@ScottsMerkin My mini-plan is right in front of one of the "Boomstick" vendors.

It's a test of wills to walk past them a few times a game and NOT buy one.

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