Top Chef Seattle: Valentine Hearts Hats, Plus a Drinking Game for Next Week

Categories: Screen Bites

JOSH VALENTINE HATS.jpg
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The best thing about the Top Chef chefs being in Alaska is that Josh Valentine gets to wear even more hats! He wore three hats in this episode. You think that's uninteresting, and that nobody gives any of their shits about what he's wearing? I completely agree. And it's still somehow more interesting than what happened on this week's episode of Top Chef: Seattle.

So, instead of going through a scene-by-scene recap of the episode, let me just say this: Valentine didn't go home! We hope he wins this shit!

Now, let's focus on the future. Introducing the Top Chef Seattle Episode Before the Season Finale Episode Drinking Game:

Every time Padmaboobz makes a stinkface while eating food, you drink.

padmaboobz stinkface.jpg
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Every time you catch Colicchio looking like he might be farting, drink.

colicchio fart.jpg
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You hear these words, you drink: "elevated," "this is my take on," "compote," "foam," "reduction," "least favorite dishes," "family," "Valentine," "the beautiful Gail Simmons," "pack your knives and go."

If Valentine wins a challenge with a dish that includes bacon, drink.

If Valentine doesn't say something snarky in a scene, drink.

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Not so fast, Drinky Drunksauce. This is the face of impending snark.

When they do that dumbass close-up of each contestant looking all angry, right before the judges judge them, chug.

judges table.jpg
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Hopefully next week's episode will be more interesting. But if it's not, at least you'll be hammered. You're welcome.


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1 comments
uppercasematt
uppercasematt

If any contestant tells the camera that he or she is "taking a risk", finish the damn bottle and turn off the TV.


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