The Top 10 Super Bowl Commercials Starring Food: 2013 Edition
Last year, I listed out the ten best food-based Super Bowl ads for you guys. And this year, while everybody else was eating at least a bajillion chicken wings, lamenting over all those poor chickens or tweeting about the "Blackout Bowl," I was diligently watching all the commercials once again. Let's see which of the food groups spent their 3.8-million-per-30-seconds wisely. My money's on empty calories and male curiosity.
10. Beck's Sapphire
Honestly, this one slipping onto the top of the top ten is actually more of an award for being the weirdest. I don't think anyone really understands why an animated betta fish would serenade a bottle of fancy Beck's with his rendition of Blackstreet's "No Diggity." But on behalf of all our collectively confused, very furrowed eyebrows, I sincerely hope that fish gets a cameo in the next Nemo flick.
9. Bud Light "Journey"
In a slightly creepy move, Bud Light dusted off the great Stevie Wonder and used his ass to sell beer-flavored water. And then they did it twice. Budweiser has a lot of money.
8. M&Ms "Love Ballad"
"It hurts, but I kinda like it!" exclaims the red M&M as Glee
7. Doritos "Goat 4 Sale"
Well, Doritos was back again (and I'm not talking about the Taco Bell Cool Ranch taco). I'm talking about slightly quirky, kinda funny ads about the chip we all really wish we could resist. This time there were cross-dressing Dads, adorable dogs and my personal favorite, a really pissed off goat.
6. The Rock Got Milk
Even in the year 2013, the American Dairy Farmers still want us to drink our milk. And now they're using superhero-esque The Rock to tell us so. Nothing can ever beat out Aaron Burr, but for this year, Dwayne Johnson will have to do.