Angelo's BBQ Is So Good it Should Probably Be Illegal. Then I'll Be the English Jesse James.
I went on a previous trip to Fort Worth where I hit three places in a day, but against everyone's better advice I ignored Angelo's Bar-B-Que, on the wonderfully named White Settlement Road. On Saturday I put that right.
Why couldn't they just drop the White from White Settlement Road? Is it crucial? Did GPS get invented before they realized that was racist, and then they just went with it? If there was a Black Settlement Road, would we have kept that? Anyway, Angelo's is in a suburban nowhere, with a parking lot over the road that is half puddle, half pavement. They are so excited by beer that, on their sign "BEER" gets a whole separate section, in a rectangle by itself down the bottom of the sign, in case you would think for one second that a barbecue place in Fort Worth wouldn't have a huge selection of beer. You would be wrong. Potentially, one reason that the White from White Settlement Road had to stay is that Angelo's already bought their sign, and it was weird.
It's a deceptively huge barbecue place, with one dining room leading into another one, which has an equally weird sign that says "WARNING: NO WAITRESS SERVICE BEYOND THIS POINT" as if you were ascending into the far snow-covered peaks of the restaurant or something. Never mind though, because all of a sudden I have a half-pound of ribs, a half-pound of brisket, a half-pound of sausage, and two sides.
Now, I know I say good things about brisket a lot. But, cast your minds back, if you will, to the middle of last year when I reviewed Pecan Lodge and Lockhart Smokehouse. Those two places broke my tiny mind with the sheer edibility of their brisket delights. Since then, nothing brisket-wise has really matched up to those beef churches, and I've been reduced to comparing ribs to each other. Ribs, I ask you. Editor Joe wouldn't let me review Pecan Lodge every week. I asked. The brisket here, though, is right up there. Jesus Christ on fire in a ditch it's amazing. It's almost gloopy in its sheer fatty delight. It's smoky, perfectly cooked and tastes delicious with sauce or without. I would marry it in a heartbeat. If given a choice between heaven and hell, I would enquire which of those places served Angelo's brisket (their ribs are also pretty amazing). EVERYTHING HERE IS FLAWLESSLY COOKED.
Texas barbecue isn't just amazing food, it's the best food. What's better? Nothing else is able to make me fall over in my chair speaking in tongues. When it's done as well as this, it's unbeatable. It's the Muhammad Ali of food, only it's still going strong, and has not gone a bit wobbly. Yes. A Parkinson's joke, that's where we're going this week. Brisket is the best of Texas barbecue, too, which makes it the best of the best. I am so totally delighted all the time about barbecue. I bought a pound of Angelo's brisket, took it home, steamed it, shredded it and made brisket tacos. Then I wept for a second time. I am a proud man, who once broke my arm and did not even make a sound. But when I eat delicious brisket, that's it, it's over for me. It's like watching my soccer team get promoted, but in my mouth.