Ten Predictions for 2013 That are Almost as Exciting as a Kardashian-West Baby

Categories: Lists

Taco Bell

1. Taco Bell rolls out the Cool Ranch taco shell, as posted on Facebook just this morning. Don't tease, Taco Bell. Please, don't tease.

2. The onomatopoeia "meh" to describe food dies in a horrid hot glue-gun accident. Bonus: it's replaced with a word as resplendent as "onomatopoeia."

3. Pictures of pink slime go away for good and instead we all just promise not to sneak gross animal by-products into our food -- when we're not expecting it anyway (see item number 1).

4. Gestation crates continue to go away as well, and instead we all just promise to be decent about things. On another note: Last week I saw an actual real baby pig. "Sprinkels" was cute and playful. I'm conflicted.

5. Twinkies gets bought out by a distillery (preferably local) that tweaks the cream filling recipe ever so slightly and introduces rumkies, bourbonkies and the like. Sack lunches would be so much funner.

6. The phrase "farm-to-table" flies the coop and we no longer imply that vegetables might come from places other than farms. (Yes, I was probably guilty of this, but please don't search it. I'm admitting it here.)

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J_A_ topcommenter

I'm really so meh'd out. I wish I didn't have to click a link to see #'s 7-10 on this list also.


Taco Bell is for the teen and the 20 something stoner; I don't care iff'n they put gold flakes in them taco's......go to Del Taco or Taco Bueno for cheap eats; then atleast you can pile on yer own sauce, pico, etc. Sauce in a packet in nasty!  It conveys a sense of industrialism and sterility. 

TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

Kanye and Kim are having a baby?

That baby will have a big head to match its big ass.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

Kim Chee deserves its 15 minutes of fame. Bourdain used to be cutting edge; he's grown tiresome.  True, baby piggies are adorable.  I hope Pizza Hut goes bankrupt.  And, the Kartrashians are a pop culture phenomenon I'll never understand.

Some New Year's thoughts from Myrna.

Sotiredofitall topcommenter

Pickled Beets will be the next celebrity food craze

ScottsMerkin topcommenter

Farm to table just irked, everything we eat is pretty much farm to table.  It was just a nice way to jack up the cost of food to patrons



I'm still laughing at the "jizz" comment on the Cracker Barrel story-kudos!  And genius on this post; sometimes I hit a MEH story, and it psychically ails me to hit a page 2 or 3!


Pizza Hut going bankrupt is more of a delision than a thought. Sorry.


@ScottsMerkin I'd be happier if it was farm to kitchen to table. Raw, unprepared food I can buy at Tom Thumb.

ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@Nictacular @kergo1spaceship I enjoy Taco Casa's Super Nachos, its like 1 big pile of heart attack



Nothing wrong with "1 big pile of heart attack"-on occasion, something so dreadfully sinful, you have to act like you are someone else. We had this place back in the day, in Plano, called Islands, where you could get a whole plate of fries, replete with bacon, shredded cheese, ranch and nacho cheese-it was deadly, and I am STILL in a coma to this day, because of them!

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