Gawker's Fruit Rankings Are Terrible So I Made My Own and They're Much Better
Gawker is actually ranking fruits. How pointless is that?
If I were rich I would hire a part-time mango preparer, with the potential of going full-time.
Let's break down their rankings and rank the fruits of the world ourselves.
27. Fig 26. Date 25. Honeydew 24. Papaya 23. Cantaloupe 22. Blackberry 21. Pear20. Raspberry
19. Apricot
18. Pineapple
17. Guava
16. Lemon
15. Plum
14. Strawberry
13. Apple
12. Grape
11. Grapefruit
10. Kiwi
9. Orange
8. Pomegranate
7. Lime
6. Watermelon
5. Banana
4. Cherry
3. Peach
2. Mango
1. Blueberry
Terrible, right? The strawberry, blackberry, raspberry and plum are obviously too low, while the top 10 is marred by the presence of the lime, the orange and the banana, all serviceable but by no means indispensable fruits.
Here are the correct rankings. Like Gawker, we claim the following to be infallible. Unlike Gawker's, ours actually are.
20. Watermelon
19. Pomegranate
18. Banana*
17. Grape
16. Cantaloupe
15. Papaya
14. Orange
13. Apple
12. Cherry
11. Pear
10. Apricot
9. Blueberry
8. Kiwi
7. Pineapple
6. Mango**
5. Blackberry
4. Plum
3. Raspberry
2. Strawberry
1. Peach
Also receiving votes: Figs, grapefruit, guava, lemon, dates***, honeydew
*I heard once that bananas constipate you, so I haven't had one since 2006. But I hear good things.
**Mango would be No. 1 if it wasn't so much damn work.
***Dates wrapped in bacon are definitely in the top 10****.
****I guess that's true of pretty much everything.
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