Cucumber Gatorade: A Warning

Categories: Complaint Desk


We offer many different perspectives here at the City of Ate, and on occasion we even dabble in being good Samaritans. This is one of those times.

If you order Gatorade by color, you must stop. Immediately.

"Hey, I'm at the store need anything?"

"Yeah, can you pick me up a Gatorade?"

"What kind?"

"I dunno. Lemon-lime or whatever. Something green or yellow."

See, that's too vague now. Because then you may end up with green Lime Cucumber Gatorade. And it's horrible! Because it actually tastes and smells like cucumber. Now, I'm a friend of the cucumber when it's in a salad or simply sprinkled with a bit of salt. But, it has no place in proper hydration. At all. Ever.

Please, Gatorade, make it stop.

If you don't trust me, here's a review from Bevreview, from Raybo15:

"In all honesty, I love gatoraide but this made me puke , I ran off the field from playing ball, grabbed the bottle took a big swig and puked, I had never tasted anything so bad in my entire life. I hope they find another flavor to replace this as i passed it to 3 other teamates and they all had the same reaction ! Not good ...."
My Voice Nation Help

Wrong. It's delicious and everyone I know loves it. It's perfect ice cold in the morning for a hangover


I take it you're not a fan of Hendrick's Gin?


I worked for a company for 4 years doing merchandising for Gatorade. What a bunch of dipsticks! They are a model of the inmates running the asylum.

Sharon_Moreanus topcommenter

I prefer to put cuCUMbers in something else.


You seriously quoted some random high school dipshit posting on the internet as your proof? 

TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

All Gatorade is nasty.

Heartburn in a jug.

ScottsMerkin topcommenter

accidentally grabbed a lemonade version one day, thought I was about to cure a hangover with lemon lime and nearly gagged myself into puking.  And this shit just aint what I used to be.  I loved the old glass bottle version of gatorade, something just tastes different these days


I tried this once and it tasted like crap.  One of the worst drinks I've ever had.  It smelled pretty good, but the taste was very chemical-ish.


Sort of like Dr. Brown's Cel-Rey Tonic.  I believe the market for celery soda is dwindling.


Meso Maya has a wonderful cucumber margarita -- cucumber and lime, very refreshing in the summer.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

Could be an intriguing cocktail if mixed with Pimm's Cup.


@cynicaloldbastard I get one every time I'm at Jimmy's. I'll take one sip and then immediately hand it to whichever friend I'm with that has never had it. Worth a try, but probably not much more.

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