10 Reasons You Absolutely Shouldn't Make Losing Weight a New Year's Resolution. For the Sake of Baby Seals, Don't.

Categories: Whimsy

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Catherine Downes
Max's Wine Dive

8. Succulent food photography: Catherine Downes is just getting warmed up. She's the Observer's budding food photographer and can capture the harmony of melting cheese or an oozing egg yolk like nobody's business. Looking at the pictures alone is worth 500 calories.

9. Your docile mental health: Setting oneself up for failure so early in the year leads to a downward spiral of disappointments the rest of the year. Instead, set yourself up for winning! Commit to not losing weight. Then, fly off that pommel horse and stick both heels in the mat, arms raised in victory, nary a false step for a perfect 10. Nailed it!

10. About those baby seals: OMG, look at how freaking cute they are. They'll grow to weigh some 400 pounds and have to fight and hunt for every single one of those life-saving calories. Your resolution to stave off fattening food that is so readily available is an insult to their fragile existence. Eat for the baby seals!


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