Top Chef Seattle: Padma Yells At Tesar, Valentine Yells At Mushrooms

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It also means that Tesar automatically makes it to the next episode! Hell yeah, Tesar!

The twist this episode is that they're bringing back old-school Top Cheffians, Stefan Richter, Josie Smith-Malave and CJ Jacobson. Yes this. I can't wait for Stefan and Tesar to get red forehead rage at each other over sous vide chicken butt or dillweed or dinosaur eggs or edible gold or whatever it'll be. TV just got so good, you guys.

Then, the regular challenge started. This one's a team challenge, too. Danyele McPherson and Josh Valentine were on the same team, which was exciting-- until the show started playing its patented here-comes-an-idiot-moment "Doop bloop a doop doop" music over their segment. They had a hard time identifying the headless fish that they were going to have to cook. But, whatever, Top Chef Show Editors-- they figured it out.

Whatever. Headless fish is hard to identify. Let's see you identify Padma without her face. Oh.

McPherson eventually goes, "It's cod." Hell yeah it is, bitches.

Then, Josh Valentine lost his mushrooms and lost his shit. He yelled at the kitchen, "Where the fuck are my mushrooms?!"

josh mushrooms.jpg

The McPherslentine team didn't win the challenge. Probably due to The Great Mushroom Kidnapping of 2012. Tesar's team won. And some dude named Jeffery Jew was kicked off, which means all three Dallas chefs are still all up in Top Chef Seattle's grill.

Episode 3 predictions: Tesar says, "Your MOM is a reverse spherification," at Valentine. McPherson smirks at the judges as edible unicorns shoot out of a rainbow in her dish. Carla talks more.

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Good job folks, no Facebook posts on this one; nothing brings the lonely out like some stupid cookin' show.  I'd rather by hammered in the ass with a hammer than watch this vile drivel.  Get outside?


@RLStrickland @cityofate Robert Strickland, you sonofabitch.


@thecheapbastard @cityofate you suck, Alice.


Was I the only one that thought Josh Valentine was coming off as a whiny bitch the entire episode?


*slow clap*


Thank you, Alice, for proving that Top Chef is a comedy goldmine!

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