A Very Pinterest Thanksgiving
|Note Guy Fieri appearance and woman who brings up pedophilia.|
The Scared Shitless Turkey Baby pictured above was just the beginning. You can thank Pinterest for letting parents (well, let's face it, moms) everywhere know that it's OK to do things like this to your children.
Pet Torture in the Name of Thanksgiving
"I hate my life."
When dressing up your kids in festive Thanksgiving garb just isn't enough, folks on Pinterest turn to their pets. Anything to distract attention from the fact that you're stuffing your face with more food than you normally eat in a week, right? Your dog probably just got over the trauma of the Halloween costume you shoved him into a month ago. Leave him alone and let him lie under the table waiting for somebody to accidentally drop something.
Bad hippies! BAD!
Pie is a thing that is good. It can be good or really good or really fucking good. It's rarely ever bad, unless it's a chart that contains bad news. That's a true fact. BUT, Pinterest has a way of making anything suck, and pie is no exception. Using the words "tofu" and "healthy" in the same pie recipe? Blasphemy.
Black Friday Shit
Ahhhh Black Friday. The one day a year we convince ourselves to get up early (or stay up late), wear our pajamas to Walmart and go on a potentially murderous shopping spree in the hopes of scoring the deal we could have scored safely at home on the Internet. I suppose Black Friday is relevant to Thanksgiving in that the pre-Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner and post-Thanksgiving meals can provide you with the sustenance you need for intense Black Friday shopping, but honestly what's the point? Sit on your full, fat, lazy ass and shop online like you do the rest of the year. If that doesn't convince you, check out the asshole who got Tasered.
The Bastardization of History
"Don't forget to pour one out for our dead Native American homies, Mom!"
Clearly any mentions of the historical origins of Thanksgiving is just an excuse to make us feel better about shoveling food into our faces until we can no longer recognize each other. Forget that the folks who "discovered America" killed thousands of people; history is told by he who writes it and OMG LOOK! I DREW A HAND THAT LOOKS LIKE A TURKEY!!!!
In all seriousness, be sure to follow foodbitch on Pinterest. Her mom says she's very good at pinning.