Prevention: Velvet Taco's Ultimate Hangover Remedy

Categories: Eat This

Velvet Taco Pellegrino.jpg
That Topo Chico with the green glass bottle really stinks.
Everyone has their own hangover cure they love to gush about, but they all suck. Most involve a greasy meal, something hydrating, and if you're lucky, a nap, but while they may temporarily cause the worst symptoms to abate for a short time, inevitably, you're eventually right back where you started: ready to boot.

The only hangover cure that really works is curing the malady before it even begins, and to do that you have to lay down some protective measures before you pass out. Luckily Velvet Taco has everything you need, and they're open till 4 a.m. on weekends for all of your pharmaceutical needs.

First pick an appropriate beverage from the reach-in cooler. Lament that they only have the lime flavored Topo Chico that tastes like the bad shots you've already had too many of, and opt for a large-sized Pellegrino instead.

Velvet Taco Egg Taco.jpg
Next, order a breakfast taco and some elotes.

If you're lucky the elotes will land first and coat your stomach in a lacto-basic protective barrier the folks at Pepto Bismol only wish they had thought of first. When the breakfast taco arrives, eat it with vicious enthusiasm until it's gone, and then lick any remaining grease from the brown paper that cradled the drunkard's gift from above.

If you're smart, you got No. 19 or any of the tacos with the cheddar potatoes. If you did, you already know that everything is going to be all right. Catch a cab and get to bed as quickly as possible. With any luck you'll sleep till noon and rise like the sun on a new spring day. That tequila you pounded never stood a chance.

Velvet Taco Elotes Downes.jpg
Catherine Downes

Location Info

Velvet Taco

3012 N. Henderson Ave., Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant


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2 comments
Mervis
Mervis

No mention of the ultimate hangover cure? Smoke a big fattie!!!!!

primi_timpano
primi_timpano topcommenter

@Mervis Sex in the morning with someone you don't remember meeting or phucking.

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