More Of A Food Critic's Absolute Worst Food Photography

Categories: Whimsy

bad photos bagel.jpeg
Does your office fridge hold secrets like ours?
If you've ever tried to snap a photo of your dinner plate in a dark dining room you know it can be difficult to make things look as delicious as they taste. For full reviews I have a professional photographer, but when I'm out and about on my own time, all I have is my iPhone.

The results (as my commenters have so politely pointed out) are sometimes amateurish, and others completely unappetizing. Last year we did a blog post compiling my worst food photos and after a quick scan of my photo albums it looks like I haven't gotten much better...

*****

bad photos blue plate.jpeg
Cock and Bull's Blue Plate Special
Every Sunday Cock and Bull puts on a blue plate special that's all over the map. One Sunday it's sloppy joes, the next chicken-fried steak, and the next it's sour cream enchiladas. This beef stir fry with red peppers however, combined with the bar's notorious low lighting made this shot completely impossible.

*****

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Deconstructed chicken shawarma
I was hoping a photo showing the internal ingredients of this sandwich would help demonstrate how delicious it was. I think we can agree Fadia's chicken shawarma looks much better all wrapped up.

*****

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Chicken and waffles at Victor Tangos
I know you're not supposed to use a flash in food photography, but sometimes there's just not enough light. The blast from my iPhone in this one looks like gold leaf draped over the gravy.

*****

Bad Photos jalepenos.jpeg
Bacon wrapped jalapeños
This is what peppers look like when their livers fail.

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8 comments
J_A_
J_A_

Everytime I attempt to snap a shot of my dinner it looks like those rooftop elotes so I don't even bother anymore

bigjondaniel
bigjondaniel

@Dallas_Observer @cityofate I think there was an El Tizoncito pic that was gnarly

Mervis
Mervis

My apoligies to Cock and Bull for having to face the aftermath of S. Reitz custom photography. That picture looks like something my labrador hawked up one day.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

Ahhh, yes. Love the Ceviche a la Palmolive.

 

(You're soaking in it.)

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

The photo cap says "Does your office fridge hold secrets like ours?"  Everyone that works in a sizable office has been witness to half eaten sandies. moldy treasures and the obligatory fat lady salad. And you say, what is a "fat lady salad"?  It's a morbidly obese person that decides they are going to shed, like 500 pounds in a month; so, they bring there own homemade salad in a browning, overused Tupperware container-everyday.  Usually, this person eats lunch alone, at a desk, with a perplexed and longing look like "why am I eating this?".  After a few bites, she throws said salad away, and starts raiding the fridge for random, aging fast food and chocolate delicacies.  She also volunteers to clean out that fridge on Friday's, and takes half that sh+t home with her. 

Daniel
Daniel

 @kergo1spaceship Kergo, you're a mean-spirited man who lacks the capacity to empathize. Not only that, you're wrong: A Fat Lady Salad is three large fistfuls of iceberg lettuce concealing a pound of chicken, one-half-pound of bacon, three hardboiled eggs, and a small(medium)-ish mound of grated Monterrey Jack,  all drowning in "low-fat" ranch dressing, paired with a Diet Coke and two oatmeal cookies, only one and a half of which she eats. Discipline. All a matter of discipline. 

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

 @Daniel 

 

Well played Danny!  I empathize with the clinically tubby, you know, the one's that have a handicap sticker cause "they BIG". 

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