On National Drink Beer Day, Mourning the Long Lost Party Ball

Categories: Whimsy

Coors Lite Party.jpg
RIP Party Ball
Today is National Drink Beer Day, apparently, and I'm sure you were looking for an excuse to knock back a cold one. It's a shame it's not National Drink Beers day, but what can we do. Please limit yourself to one.

While I'm sure the rest of Dallas is busy jerking off to our growing collection of craft beers I thought I'd use the esteemed holiday to celebrate what I think is, at times, a far better way to imbibe: the Coors Light party ball.

Home draft.png
WTF is this thing?
The party ball may be the greatest invention to ever grace mass beer consumption since the beer bong. Sure, kegs allow you carry around more beer at a time. But I'm not strong enough to carry one more than half a block before I herniate something I'd rather not herniate. I can carry a party ball one full block before I have to rest (and drink a cold one) and a party ball is way easier to pack with ice.

Sadly, the party ball is dead, discontinued sometime in 2011 and replaced by the not nearly as fun to say "Home Draft."

I do not like the home draft. It sounds so serious, like something you would attach to the very craft beers I'm trying to avoid celebrating in this post. It looks like a kegerator for people who can't afford kegerator, and there's no party in it. Further, it can't be easily converted into a bubbling device for smoking vegetative matter and it's always depicted in someone's refrigerator like it's some sort of fancy beer that it's not.

Party balls never hung out in a refrigerator. They were right at home in my front yard, or in a parking lot amidst a sea of pick up trucks blaring Spinal Tap under a haze of smoke from Marlboro Reds. This is how we should be celebrating National Drink A Beer Day.

Coors, I implore you. Bring the party back.



Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
31 comments
Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

With such a wide variety of quality beer now available (even at Kroger) , how can you even consider drinking Coors Light? 

iklx11007
iklx11007

@hmcpherson17 Thanks 4 letting us know. Will def be drinking 2 nite after work now. #MMMMBEER

hotrodrace
hotrodrace

discontinued in 2011? i haven't seen a party ball since maybe 1990 when me and my buddy used to ice 'em down in the backseat of his IROC and roll hard on the streets of north irving, great tribute!

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

We need a clarification, here, I think. Is it "National Drink *A* Beer Day" or is it "National Drink Beer Day"?

 

*eh*

 

Who cares, really. Everyday is "Drink Beer Day". NO day is "Drink Coors Day", AFAIC.

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

What the hell is in that ball....egg yolks?!  Nasty.  I am prepared to salute National Beer Day by building a campfire, throwing meat(s) on said fire, and drinking many Budlights; yes BL, the beer of those who enjoy champions-and brats; and rare steaks with sauteed mushrooms, and Shiner Bock, Shiner Blonde, Blondes, the River, and forests, because you can't hike if you are a tool....the woods just won't allow it!

 

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.” ― Henry David Thoreau

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

 @steve.sandwich 

 

 I detect a Yankee; you need to "git" the hell out of Texas!

 

No, seriously, I never heard anyone say Shiner sucks; I detect a "nouveau  bier trendster"; one that only drinks $12.00 bottles of Belgian Beer, or beers no one's ever heard of.  A beer snob.  You think my dad would be happy (god bless his sainted soul) if he knew that one day there would beer beer snobs? This is a man that would walk around with a Budman tshirt on. 

 

ps-Dallas needs less beer, wine and food snobs.....it's kinda feminine for a man to act that way-just sayin'.   So, get your fedora on, and your second hand suit jacket, and get on down to Parkit Market-and get some Shiner dude.

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

 @TheCredibleHulk 

 

yuk, drink Coors day is like "wear jorts day" or "uncle larry with his tight coaches shorts, that let his balls hang out day"......gross!

primi_timpano
primi_timpano topcommenter

@kergo1spaceship Kergo, I think the liquid is bong beer.

Mervis
Mervis

@kergo1spaceship That's what Scott's pee looks like after drinking that much Coors Light.

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

 @Haveagoodbeer  

 

Oh boy, here comes the yuppie contingent; "I know so much about beer, blah, blah, blah!".......beer is the ONE thing hipsters and +ssholes didn't like ; now ya'll have stolen that also?  Next, it'll be TRENDY to hike and cook-at the same time. Fruits. 

 

ps-Please go back to being a wine snob, and leave "dat beara" to us.......PLEASE. 

primi_timpano
primi_timpano topcommenter

@kergo1spaceship @steve.sandwich Kergo, as much as I love all things unpolitical in Texas, Shiner does not get the love. The long departed Pearl and Lone Star were the real Texas beers but they have been long gone. I remember when Shiner arrived with its Bock beer and was underwhelmed. Now I drink mostly Mexican (Bohemia) or Czech (no, not Budweiser). Still love a Schlitz.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

 @kergo1spaceship I really need to go and get a red-hot shiv and poke out my mind's eye, now.

 

*aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh*

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

 @Mervis   

 

Mervie, actually we all know that when you drink that much CL, said pee is actually clear, because CL is just water. Now the back end, that's a different story....and CL will give the beer sh+ts. 

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

 @Double-O-Joe 

 

 

I love the Wild Hare!  Also, 101 + 102 are good....and, actually the Smokhaus brew is, not, bad. 

 

The you have:

Shiner Hefeweizen

Shiner Kosmos

Shiner Rye Lager

Shiner Ruby

Shiner Spring Ale

 

Oh, and Bohemian Black Lager.

 

I love going to the Shiner tasting room at the brewery, it's like Christmas for drunks!

Mervis
Mervis

or Czech pilsner

Mervis
Mervis

@primi_timpano Most Mexican light lagers are brewed exactly the same as American light lagers. They may seem different but in actuality they are the same adjunct filled stuff. Shiner Bock too. Uses corn in the mash. A real Czech lager should be all malt.

primi_timpano
primi_timpano topcommenter

@kergo1spaceship @Mervis I suspect CL is just rebranded Coor's 3.2.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

 @kergo1spaceship  @Mervis good ol rocky mountain piss water.  Gotta love union guys pissing in the river the brewery used for it operation

Double-O-Joe
Double-O-Joe

 @TheCredibleHulk  @kergo1spaceship 

You get one of the rotating "Brewer's Pride" bottles in the variety pack too.  Right now I think it's the Prickly Pear.  Not bad, but a little light for cooler weather.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

 @Double-O-Joe  @kergo1spaceship Whaaaaa??!!!

 

This is a species of Shiner I've not yet encountered in the wild. I have a hard time switching up once I start on a particular style, so the variety packs don't usually interest me, but I think I'll need to make an exception, here.

 

My weekend mission is clear, now.

Double-O-Joe
Double-O-Joe

 @kergo1spaceship 

If I could get the Kosmos Reserve in 6-packs, instead of 1 at a time in the Family Reunion, I would be extremely happy.  4 of them in a case isn't enough either.

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...