Six Ways to Ramen: How to Class-Up the Staple of Cheap College Food

Categories: College Week

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If you're not broke in college, then you're not doing it right. It's mandatory, like puking at the coast. College students should be able to pull together a weekend's worth of food and gas via a bone marrow donation and condiments at a 7-Eleven. They should also know stores that take several days to deposit checks in order to float a little cash. It's all about learning to "leverage debt," which is a trade you'll need after you graduate.

Until then, we've pulled out grandma's recipe book for six stunning bowls of Maruchan Ramen to get your through the semester.

Each recipe uses a package of chicken flavored ramen noodles as the base. Don't be trapped by the flavor packet. Work outside the packet. Consider the noodles as a blank canvas and condiment bars and perhaps very small amounts of thievery as enhancements. All the ingredients for each dish cost less than a dollar.

Crazy Sauce Ramen

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This recipe uses the surprisingly spicy bread stick "Crazy Sauce" from Little Cesar's pizza, which costs 96 cents.

Directions: Follow direction for cooking noodles. Toss flavor packet in a drawer to use some other time. Drain all water from the noodles which are now "pasta," top with red sauce and a packet of Parmesan cheese.

Personal tasting notes: Crazy Sauce is surprisingly thick and spicy. You'll need at least 10 Altoids after eating this.

*****

Prison Ramen

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Two hots and a cot. No phone calls, deadlines or clothes to iron. It ain't all bad. Shit just happens sometimes. Here's a staple the folks behind bars have created.

Directions: Take a bag of Cheetos Puffs (two for $1) and smash them until they're a fine powder. Then add the packet of chicken flavoring to the bag of Cheetos powder. Cook noodles in two cups of water. Add all the noodles and water to bag. Stir and shake to mix. You may or may not be able to eat out of bag; sometimes it leaks.

Personal tasting notes: I know you judged this dish. And for that, you should apologize now. I had four different adults with highly distinguished palates taste this and they all said, "That's actually pretty good." This bowl of creamy yet tangy cheese and chicken pasta soup will help you make new friends anywhere.


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31 comments
TaylorHamby
TaylorHamby

I like to add stir fry vegetables to my ramen (drained) and top with soy sauce.

jason.dorweiler
jason.dorweiler topcommenter

Add Nori, Kim chee, egg, or green onions (or all)

merhB
merhB

I keep frozen pesto in the ice cube tray (remember the bunch of basil mentioned? Freeze it for later EZ portion-sized happiness.)

Simply toss a cube in with the cooked Ramen noodles and allow it to melt pesto-flavor into the Ramen. Shred some Parmesan cheese on it if you have any. Works with those individual Kraft Mac n' Cheese bowls too. Simply leave out the cheese and/or flavor packet.

Everett'e B Armstrong
Everett'e B Armstrong

Step 1- put water in a pot and heat it til it boils Step 2- EAT THE NOODLES RAW Step 3- DRINK THE BOILING WATER Step 4- SNORT THE FLAVOR SEASONING Step 5- Fuck bitches

Hilary Heath
Hilary Heath

Yuck! Most of this seems totally disgusting to me...

Laura Heinsohn
Laura Heinsohn

my favorite is to crack an egg or 2 in the water while cooking the ramen, then sprinkle some green onion on top when done.

J_A_
J_A_

I always boil the noodles separately and add an egg. My favorite brand/kind is Neoguri, I've even seen it at normal grocery stores.

Craigley
Craigley

break a raw egg in the ramen

Genslay
Genslay

Add a ketchup packet to the pad thai recipe and you're there.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk

I once sealed a leak in the radiator of a 1974 Ford LTD with a package of Ramen flavoring.

marvin
marvin

Seems like it would be easier to add the Cheetos to whatever you cooked the noodles in, instead of the other way around, unless you need it to go, and you're in prison, so.

primi_timpano
primi_timpano topcommenter

When I was in college we didn't have a microwave, but we did have a toaster oven.  Great for grilled sandwiches and nachos.  Never got into the ramen thing, even off-campus when I had a quasi-kitchen.  Like Kergo, I found pasta to be inexpensive and much better.  One of my buddies was a champ at green beans, mushroom soup and fried onions.

dallas_paul
dallas_paul

Little Cesars? Two recipes with Taco Cabana? Whole Foods? Maybe you misunderstood the whole "broke in college" thing. Or maybe the definition of "broke" has changed since I was in college.

BurlesqueMeansChunky
BurlesqueMeansChunky

This might age me, but when I was at SMU, we would take a package of uncooked Ramen, smash it up, put the shards into a condom, put the condom on, and take a rubber mallet to our lil dongs.   Ah, youth.

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

I have had several relatives who, have spent, ohhhhhh, many years in the pokey. I have heard about this famous dish where you boil Ramens, then take the juice from Cheetos, and stick said mess on a tortilla-with ranch. 

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

Even in college I shied away from the Ramen, pasta is not that much more expensive!  I felt sorry for people that ate that crap, like the parents didn't love them!  I always had a skillet, and a portable burner handy, so I didn't have to resort to eating like I was in Ethiopia. I guess it's all in how much one loves themselves, or how resourceful one is.  

 

I still bring that rig (albeit upgraded) on the road.  Last month I stayed in a dive in Arkansas, and made myself a GREAT meal:

 

Chicken Parmesan Sandwich

Sauteed Squash and Zucchini

Wild Rice 

Broccoli Florets

Budweiser

 

 

 

arturod
arturod

My Chinese roomate in gradschool would also thrown in a raw egg into the boiling hot water with the  flavor pack to poach it.  He also threw in a tomato to stew.  Both the poached egg and stewed tomato made it really tasty.

dixiechickidie
dixiechickidie

I make this yummy crunchy slaw with uncooked ramen noodles. I use the flavoring bag in the dressing. Crazy good.

laurendrewesdaniels
laurendrewesdaniels

 @TheCredibleHulk Seatbelt used to get stuck on my parents Ford LTD. You ever try to get out of a seat belt that won't unclick? There's no way to do it without lying on the pavement. Loved that car. 

laurendrewesdaniels
laurendrewesdaniels

 @dallas_paul The crazy sauce cost 96 cents. Taco Cabana condiments are free. Whole Foods... did you read it? One dollar with the budget for every meal. The defiinition of broke is relative, I think. 

dallas_paul
dallas_paul

 @laurendrewesdaniels "Broke" when I was in college meant I had trouble filling my gas tank, and that was back when gas was around 85c a gallon. If I was at the Ramen stage, eating out at all was a no-go, free condiments or not.

RocketJ
RocketJ topcommenter

 @laurendrewesdaniels  Not my brokest, but broke in Junior College was taking the bus to the Local University's Medical Department to be a paid subject in medical experiments.

 

A bucks worth of mushrooms, green onions and bean sprouts from the salad bar was my trick to enhance the ramen experience. Funny I used the same dollar budget...

 

There is no improving on Maruchan Creamy Chicken, perfect as it is.

 

Side note, when I was living in the bay area a grad student at Stanford died of malnutrition on a ramen only diet.  

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