Six Ways to Ramen: How to Class-Up the Staple of Cheap College Food
If you're not broke in college, then you're not doing it right. It's mandatory, like puking at the coast. College students should be able to pull together a weekend's worth of food and gas via a bone marrow donation and condiments at a 7-Eleven. They should also know stores that take several days to deposit checks in order to float a little cash. It's all about learning to "leverage debt," which is a trade you'll need after you graduate.
Until then, we've pulled out grandma's recipe book for six stunning bowls of Maruchan Ramen to get your through the semester.
Each recipe uses a package of chicken flavored ramen noodles as the base. Don't be trapped by the flavor packet. Work outside the packet. Consider the noodles as a blank canvas and condiment bars and perhaps very small amounts of thievery as enhancements. All the ingredients for each dish cost less than a dollar.
Crazy Sauce Ramen
This recipe uses the surprisingly spicy bread stick "Crazy Sauce" from Little Cesar's pizza, which costs 96 cents.
Directions: Follow direction for cooking noodles. Toss flavor packet in a drawer to use some other time. Drain all water from the noodles which are now "pasta," top with red sauce and a packet of Parmesan cheese.
Personal tasting notes: Crazy Sauce is surprisingly thick and spicy. You'll need at least 10 Altoids after eating this.
Two hots and a cot. No phone calls, deadlines or clothes to iron. It ain't all bad. Shit just happens sometimes. Here's a staple the folks behind bars have created.
Directions: Take a bag of Cheetos Puffs (two for $1) and smash them until they're a fine powder. Then add the packet of chicken flavoring to the bag of Cheetos powder. Cook noodles in two cups of water. Add all the noodles and water to bag. Stir and shake to mix. You may or may not be able to eat out of bag; sometimes it leaks.
Personal tasting notes: I know you judged this dish. And for that, you should apologize now. I had four different adults with highly distinguished palates taste this and they all said, "That's actually pretty good." This bowl of creamy yet tangy cheese and chicken pasta soup will help you make new friends anywhere.