Locking Devices Should Be Mandated For All Inner Dining Room Alcohol Transport

Categories: Whimsy


See also:
*Dear Bartenders of Dallas: Just Say No to the Bottle-Top Pop

Since my call for the end to aggressive bottle top popping was so well received (to the tune of angry comments in the hundreds) I'm looking forward to hearing some feedback on my next great idea for change within the service industry. It's called Stem Locks, and according to a news release, the invention promises to be a real game changer.

Check out the video if you want a visual explanation. In it a waiter approaches a table and lifts a Champagne flute from his tray to place in front of one of the diners. The Champagne magically turns into a glass of red wine and then explodes all over the back of one of the patrons. The glass shatters. Patrons gasp. LIFE IS RUINED!

stem lock surfer.jpg
Stem Locks promises to put an end to such horrible tragedies by securing glassware to the tray so waiters can dance through dining rooms and even surf to their tables. The actual glass delivery (getting the glass off the tray and onto the table) is still on the waiter, but I think the potential risk reduction is worth it. These babies should be mandated by city ordinance.

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See?? That bartender spent his off time while not sleeping all day or culling his God-complex to invent a miraculous device.  All in the matter of a few nights! Most likely due to the fact that he wasn't wasting time cleaning up after his power pop shenanigans.  Bravo, seafood house bartender man, bravo.

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