Barbec's Is as Sweet as a Hug from Your Grandma

Categories: Cheap Bastard

barbecs food.JPG
Alice Laussade
Follow Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good -- or at least non-lethal -- lunch for less than 10 bucks.

See also:
*A Cheap Lunch at the Zodiac? It's a Gas.
*Bistro B Gets an "A" for Awesome

Old count: 3,846
People I heard ordering "Cereal to go!": 2

In the parking lot, an old dude wrestles with his tennis-ball-footed walker, which is apparently named "Sonovabitch." As he fights the equipment into the trunk of the Cadillac, the woman with the keys and the perfect helmet hair nags him about his temper. The handicapped parking spot that their car is double-parked in is used to this.

Inside Barbec's, the hostess is so nice to me, it seems like she's been waiting for me my whole life. "Well, hey, honey. I like you. I like your smile. You can take a seat anywhere, darlin'." This lady is not a hostess, she's my new best friend. Her greeting was 100 percent actual nice, 0 percent saccharin. This is real Southern hospitality, the kind that existed before Paula Deen trademarked it.

barbec's poster.jpg
Alice Laussade
Yes, you do.
As I take a seat in the back corner of the restaurant, one particularly grandpa-y customer says to me, "This section is only for men."

"Perfect," I reply, without getting up.

He laughs, sips his sweet tea. He's doing that fucking-with-strangers thing that is always best delivered by a gray-haired Texan dude. (Read: When an old dude is a dick, it's endearing. When a young dude is a dick, he's just a dick. And if said young dick dude calls being a dick to chicks "negging," you have my permission to put your middle fingers all the way up his nose while you repeatedly kick him in the nuts.)

Old Man Texas finishes his meal and asks me, "Are you paying for my lunch today, or what?" I quickly figure out that you're never new to Barbec's. You're instantly a regular.

The chicken-fried steak "daily blue ribon [sic] special" caught my eye, so I ordered that with biscuits, home fries and green beans. Usually, the chicken-fried steak meal is $7.29, but on Wednesdays, it's only $6.99. And, if you buy one chicken-fried steak after 4 p.m., the second one is only $2.99. Blam! I just splooged savings all over your face!!

One bite of their chicken-fried steak, and I was transported to my high-school cafeteria. But, somehow -- not in a bad way. It was just like high-school lunch, including the old dudes in the super high-waisted coach's shorts, plus bacon in the green beans, minus braces, plus better biscuits (I overheard someone call them "rollscuits," which is a perfect description, because they were yeast-y and much less dense than a biscuit).

A lunch that has the power to make me fondly remember high school is a pretty fucking powerful lunch. Get there. And bring some old people. Clearly, they fucking love this joint.

Follow City of Ate on Twitter. Follow me at @thecheapbastard.

Location Info

Barbec's

8949 Garland Road, Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant


Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
11 comments
dukedude
dukedude

I read the observer every week mostly to read your bullshit. It's usually fairly interesting, but sometimes, like with this story, your so full of shit I'm certain your eyes must be brown. You put the "stupid" in stupid cunt.

 

BrentneyH
BrentneyH

Goddamn, all these years I've been ignoring negging, when I should have been putting middle fingers up noses. That's a public service, Alice. You need an advice column, too. 

primi_timpano
primi_timpano topcommenter

That sure looks like a commercial, frozen CFS.

SunnyHuny1
SunnyHuny1

I have to diasgree, I REALLY don't like the food at Barbec's.  We've been there several times and the food is always so-so, if not downright inedible.  I'll take my money to Crossorads Diner and get the breakfast schnitzel instead.

t_s_
t_s_

Alice,

You my negger.

 

 

Daniel
Daniel

Alice, how old do I have to be to be a dick? I mean, to be endearing WHEN I'm a dick, instead of getting my nuts kicked. (Yes, I know it's possible to be endearing and also get your nuts kicked; I've seen this happen on the television, to Don Knotts in the character of Ralph Furley.) I'm looking for a specific demarcation point here. Please respond, I need to know by tonight.

 

P.S. Barbec's food pretty much blows, but the biscuits kick ass.

adkim
adkim

" (Read: When an old dude is a dick, it's endearing. When a young dude is a dick, he's just a dick. And if said young dick dude calls being a dick to chicks "negging," you have my permission to put your middle fingers all the way up his nose while you repeatedly kick him in the nuts.)"

 

alice, i believe i just fell in love with you.

AliceLaussade
AliceLaussade

 @Daniel I'm putting the age at 68. 68 is when it becomes endearing. There's a "Creepy Dad" age range between Negging Dick and Endearing.

Daniel
Daniel

 @AliceLaussade  @Daniel That begs the question (I KNOW I'm misusing the phrase, God damn it): What's the demarcation point between Negging and Creepy Dad dicks? Also, which of the two is more offensive on average? 

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...