The Olympics of British Food: A User's Guide from a British Guy
The Most Totally Disgusting-Sounding British Food That Is Actually Freaking Delicious
Bronze -- Steak and Kidney pie
Flick user Smabs Sputzer
Steak and kidney pie holds a lot of memories for me. It is the dish of choice at "soccer" games, me being something of a soccer fanatic, and contains red hot steak, kidney and gravy in a flimsy, squishy pastry. It is unbearably great. If it was launched over here, America literally couldn't handle it. Firstly, I understand, kidney is a strange ingredient. Unfortunately for you, it's actually all right (it has something of a "tang"), especially when encased in a thick brown gravy. Secondly, meat pies. How have you missed this idea?! It's meat! In a pie! You love meat! You love pies! Simply combine the two and understand gravy better! Then, profit. You understand this sequence of events better than anyone.
Silver -- Haggis
Flickr user tessawatson
I don't even want to list what's in haggis. Jesus. It is bad news. However, something that sounds so awful has combined together to be far more than the sum of its parts. It's the culinary equivalent of the U.S. soccer team -- a collection of really abysmally terrible footballers that somehow gets out of their group at the World Cup every single time (I am well aware this is because they understand what teamwork is while England are a group of millionaires with no regard for even the most basic principles of a team sport). In summary, haggis with mashed potato is amazing. You should give it a try.
Gold -- Black/Blood pudding
Nick Rallo Mmm...blood sausage
Oh I know. I know. I only ate this at first because I didn't know what it was. It's basically pigs' blood and oatmeal put inside an intestine and grilled. I feel sad just typing it. Unfortunately, it is really very nice indeed, and a fairly integral part of any traditional English breakfast of bacon, sausage, baked beans, fried egg and toast. The café next to my old house (in Cardiff, Wales) did a hangover-busting fried breakfast that was called "The Triple Fat Bastard." I miss that place a lot.
Up Next: the British food Americans need to get on board with immediately.