Let's Get Fahreinhammered! (The Bitching-About-Texas-Weather Drinking Game)

Categories: Drink This

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Nick Rallo
I know how hot it's going to be. It's June, y'all, and I live in Texas. Also, I walked outside and it's balls hot already (It's a weather term. @CBS11Larry knows what I'm talking about), so it's safe to assume that it'll just get hotter today. Because of science.

I could bitch all day about the fact that you people are already posting screenshots of the 7-day forecast on Facebook and it's not even August yet, about hipsters wearing fashion-y scarves and boots and saying, "It's so hot, you guys!" But, why just bitch when I can bitch and also get us all hammered?

Last year, we got you Drought Drunk. This year, we're getting you Fahreinhammered.

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Nick Rallo
Bonus: drink everytime someone says they cooked something in their car (this includes us)
How to play Let's Get Fahreinhammered:

Here's the general concept: Anytime someone who's not a professional weatherer uncreatively talks about the weather, you drink. "Y'all, it's so hot today. I can't believe it. Ugh." Drink.

Drink when you hear digits.
"I heard it's going to be 104 today." "It's gonna be 108, actually." "Ermahgerd, you remember last year when it hit 100 over 70 days in a row?" (That's four drinks.)

Extra drink if you hear about the heat index for the day. Because the heat index is an asshole.

Screenshot of the 7-day forecast or a car thermostat with a status update including exclamation points or complaints = chug.

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It's not even that hot yet, you dickweeds. But, at least you're getting me drunk now.

And remember, when we're getting Fahreinhammered, it's customary to trap other players by baiting them into telling you about the weather. Similar to the "icing your bro," you can now Fahreinhammer him. Which sounds worse than we meant it to. If you succeed in baiting another player, they must drink double the standard amount. Ex: (You to your friend) "Hey, check out this hot pic on my phone!" (Show them the 7-day forecast instead of boobs.)

Note: by reading this post, you have consented to play Let's Get Fahreinhammered! So you should be pretty drunk by now.

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17 comments
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Come get hammered with us at Dick's Last Resort - Dallas, TX

Leola
Leola

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Leola
Leola

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CheeryBitch
CheeryBitch

At the rate my network complains, I'll be drunk 24/7 until after Labor Day. They post tomorrow's forecast at 2am! *drink*

Paul Riddell
Paul Riddell

Sadly, the alter kokkers didn't understand why this was so bad. I just had to settle for telling them "It's only bad when you have to swim through pools of molten concrete to get to your car."

Oliver Philip
Oliver Philip

  what Christopher replied I didn't even know that a stay at home mom able to profit $5611 in four weeks on the internet. did you look at this web site lazycash42.c()m

Chiggers!
Chiggers!

What the hell... I was drunk already, anyway.

Wastrel Way
Wastrel Way

I'm such a complete failure when I try to sing "Heat Wave" along with Martha and the Vandellas.

Venezia609
Venezia609

I'll make sure to tell all of the black, hispanic, and asian kids also playing in the tournaments that you think they shouldn't be there.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

We white people have such anguish in this world.  Gotta love white people problems!

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Holy shit, this commentary is genius!  I bow to thee.  Now go away, the stories are revealing, funny and insightful.......you are going to have to fight me for this space.  Good job.  Weather talking is an eff'ing BEATING.

TLS
TLS

I was at my kid's golf tournament today during which not only was it 100-something degrees but there were snakes crossing the cart paths to get where ever the hell snakes go.  I need a freaking drink!!!  How many freaking drinks do I get for snakes?!!!!

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